mystique0217
TRIBE Member
well, after living at so many different places since I was 15 from:
-Japan to
-Huntington beach, ca, usa,
-West Vancouver, bc,
-North Vancouver, bc,
-Victoria, bc,
-North Vancouver, bc,
-Toronto, on,
-Huntsville, on,
-Toronto, on,
-Chiba, Japan (near tokyo),
-Toronto, on, then
-Guelph, on (current),
It is obvious that my life was always consist of *getting used to the place by exploring the environment, and discovering things that made me feel most comfortable (place to go get books/read/hear music/dance/eat etc..),and making new friends*..then usually unexpected/planned move happens..boomb. to the next destination.
In fact, this life style taught me so much about myself and allowed me to learn how to take good care of myself, which in the end made my parents not to worry a bit about me, cause I know I always take good care of myself no matter what.
But the side effect of this accumulated moves was the inability to truthfully identify where my home was (well not that it matters now to me), but more to do with: *what kind of elements do I need in the order to make my life so warm and being able to feel that people care about me?*
In the previous phase of my life, I felt as if I thought I needed to let go of any attachment that we, human being, tend to gain in our life to gain a sense of comfort and care in our lives.
Well back then, I was striving forward only to become a stronger individual always chasing after things that felt like something that I had to do to reach the ultimate life that could reflect more of my true identity of my self.
and thus, not having attachment seemed much healthier to my mission back then.
But in the phase of my life that I am living right now, I have come to feel where I am so sick of being independent, trying to take care of my life, even if a move meant something of obligatory to the decision that I made,..and so sick of feeling alone and not really having any attachment to any particular condition/environment/situation that could make me feel like a normal person.
The bottom line is that due to the conditions of life that I have lived in the past 10 years, I have gone through so many moments where I had to say good bye to friends that I became closed to, and I am freaking so tired of this..like the new place I will be, I will be alone without a friend, and my closed friends being apart from me.. I am freaking sick of it, but I have not found a place I feel like *this is it, this is my home* yet that it seems my journey of constant moves will not end sooner or later.
I doubt that there aint many tribers who have moved as frequently as I have in my (recent) years of life, but
I was wondering what is your 2 cents about attachment to any particular location/condition/environment in life.
do you think it is healthy to having a need to keep obtaining such condition to feel comfortable and safe in our life?
thanks for reading,,,
-kumi<patient of this counselling session trying to learn more of what I am going through emotionally>
-Japan to
-Huntington beach, ca, usa,
-West Vancouver, bc,
-North Vancouver, bc,
-Victoria, bc,
-North Vancouver, bc,
-Toronto, on,
-Huntsville, on,
-Toronto, on,
-Chiba, Japan (near tokyo),
-Toronto, on, then
-Guelph, on (current),
It is obvious that my life was always consist of *getting used to the place by exploring the environment, and discovering things that made me feel most comfortable (place to go get books/read/hear music/dance/eat etc..),and making new friends*..then usually unexpected/planned move happens..boomb. to the next destination.
In fact, this life style taught me so much about myself and allowed me to learn how to take good care of myself, which in the end made my parents not to worry a bit about me, cause I know I always take good care of myself no matter what.
But the side effect of this accumulated moves was the inability to truthfully identify where my home was (well not that it matters now to me), but more to do with: *what kind of elements do I need in the order to make my life so warm and being able to feel that people care about me?*
In the previous phase of my life, I felt as if I thought I needed to let go of any attachment that we, human being, tend to gain in our life to gain a sense of comfort and care in our lives.
Well back then, I was striving forward only to become a stronger individual always chasing after things that felt like something that I had to do to reach the ultimate life that could reflect more of my true identity of my self.
and thus, not having attachment seemed much healthier to my mission back then.
But in the phase of my life that I am living right now, I have come to feel where I am so sick of being independent, trying to take care of my life, even if a move meant something of obligatory to the decision that I made,..and so sick of feeling alone and not really having any attachment to any particular condition/environment/situation that could make me feel like a normal person.
The bottom line is that due to the conditions of life that I have lived in the past 10 years, I have gone through so many moments where I had to say good bye to friends that I became closed to, and I am freaking so tired of this..like the new place I will be, I will be alone without a friend, and my closed friends being apart from me.. I am freaking sick of it, but I have not found a place I feel like *this is it, this is my home* yet that it seems my journey of constant moves will not end sooner or later.
I doubt that there aint many tribers who have moved as frequently as I have in my (recent) years of life, but
I was wondering what is your 2 cents about attachment to any particular location/condition/environment in life.
do you think it is healthy to having a need to keep obtaining such condition to feel comfortable and safe in our life?
thanks for reading,,,
-kumi<patient of this counselling session trying to learn more of what I am going through emotionally>
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