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When things fall apart...

[EmPress]

TRIBE Member
Ok im just wondering if anyone has ever had a huge falling out with a friend, boyfriend or girlfriend.....do you think things can ever be rekindled. From peoples experiences do you think things can ever be the same? I mean like waaay down the line. I mean once nasty things are said and done, would you ever let someone back in your life??? Would you ever care about them the same way?

Just wondering about personal expereinces

Leah
 

CLUSTER

TRIBE Member
Im having an experience right now in my life where I would loev to have someone back in my life. But the timing is not right. Always keep your doors open though, don't hold onto the past, live for your future. There's nothing worse then sitting and thinking about something you can't have, or something your not sure about wanting to have back, everything comes in time. But once again, never burn those bridges.


Zig'
 

PolishPrincess

TRIBE Member
it is possible to work things out! even after harsh things are said...TIME is most important...both people need to cool off and even move on for a bit..if ur still thinking about the person and miss them in ur life...call them or even send a simple email saying you have been thinking about them, and dont like how things ended.

Good luck.
 

Ditto Much

TRIBE Member
Originally posted by [EmPress]
Ok im just wondering if anyone has ever had a huge falling out with a friend, boyfriend or girlfriend.....do you think things can ever be rekindled. From peoples experiences do you think things can ever be the same? I mean like waaay down the line. I mean once nasty things are said and done, would you ever let someone back in your life??? Would you ever care about them the same way?

Just wondering about personal expereinces

Leah

I never could! I always found that once when all the issues were actually laid on the table and the dirty things were said it was never the same. It happened to me twice, in one case I got the nicest appology I have ever in my life ever recieved and still it wasn't enough. The things she had said couldn't be undone and in reality it was best to not try. I would never again have the innocence of emotion I once had with her because this very innocense was what she had in essence crushed. From that day forth I couldn't be straight with her in a subconsious level.

In the other case I was wrong. No amount of appology was going to change this. I had hurt someone enought that I thought it was best to not hurt them again even though I still had very strong feelings. I realized I had to have strong enough feelings to not use her like a yoyo, that as much as I missed her sholder to cry on it was no longer right to want her sholder to cry on.



But I stink with relationships regardless!
 
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rubytuesday

TRIBE Member
Originally posted by [EmPress]
Ok im just wondering if anyone has ever had a huge falling out with a friend, boyfriend or girlfriend.....do you think things can ever be rekindled. From peoples experiences do you think things can ever be the same? I mean like waaay down the line. I mean once nasty things are said and done, would you ever let someone back in your life??? Would you ever care about them the same way?

Just wondering about personal expereinces

Leah
It depends on what ppl believe is forgiveable. If both ppl honestly think they can move on and forget about it then totally. Some ppl hold onto things and never get past it, while some ppl have more forgiving natures.
 

Eclectic

TRIBE Member
Yeah, it all depends on what the situation is.

If it was something small and insignificant that blew out of proportions, then things may be able to go back to normal.

But if it was something monumentous....and depending on each persons views on the situation. Sometimes you just have to move on and not look back.

It sucks, but sometimes it has to be done.
 

K_la

TRIBE Member
When things fall apart read Chinua Acheba...

... I believe that in the end of Things Fall Apart is the true answer you are seeking!
 

pr0nstar

TRIBE Member
Originally posted by Eclectic
Yeah, it all depends on what the situation is.

If it was something small and insignificant that blew out of proportions, then things may be able to go back to normal.

But if it was something monumentous....and depending on each persons views on the situation. Sometimes you just have to move on and not look back.

It sucks, but sometimes it has to be done.
I don't agree, but I'm a very forgiving person.

All humans make mistakes.
Does this mean we should eliminate someone we care from our lives because of that?

pr0nstar
 
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IgStar

TRIBE Member
Yes. I am a firm believer that even after a nasty breakup, it is possible to rekindle that. Of course, this is after time spent apart.
But it can happen, I know. :)

together for a year, had a really really nasty break-up, it was very bad....a year a bit apart....we've been back together for 4.
Of course there is ups and downs, but forgiveness is key. You can't go back, you can't bring that old bad history up. Once you make that decision to move forward, that means MOVE FORWARD.
start over. fresh.

I believe it can be done. Good Luck! :D
 

Muad'ib

Well-Known TRIBEr
I am currently, for another week, living with my exgf. We are trying our best to be civil, but it gets really tough. I know that I would rather not have a falling out, I hope she feels the same and is not letting it accrue inside. I just think how much I cared the last three years and how it would be shame to ruin all that in the last week.
 

tobywan

TRIBE Member
Nope...don't see that happening at all personally.

Similar to what Ditto Much said, once that innocence of emotion is lost, nothing is ever the same.

thems the breaks...life goes on.

T.O.B'
 

CLUSTER

TRIBE Member
Originally posted by MC Bias
Nope...don't see that happening at all personally.

Similar to what Ditto Much said, once that innocence of emotion is lost, nothing is ever the same.

thems the breaks...life goes on.

T.O.B'
I agree with the 'life goes on' part.
Cause really, you just make it so much harder on yourself if you dwell on something. I know its easy to say, but not easy to do. I'm in that boat now and try to think outside the box as much as possible, realizing that if I was looking in from outside the situation, I would know what I had to do. Just have to take that energy and put it elsewhere :)

However, if your feelings are still strong and are mutual, that is something you should never let go of. But don't force it to come back together. Let time do its job. Just be a friend if you can.


Make sense at all? I'm much better to talk to in person... :D
 
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pr0nstar

TRIBE Member
Learn forgiveness, it's a lot easier than just eliminating great people from your life because of mistakes.

Doesn't mean you have to be a previous partner after they wrong you once or twice or whatever.

But for you to not forgive them, only weighs on your shoulders IMO.

pr0nstar
 

janiecakes

TRIBE Member
I don't think things stay the same after a huge falling out, but that doesn't mean you can't re-start or continue to have a good relationship. It will just be different, and different isn't necessarily bad.

We all fuck up and sometimes make huge mistakes, and learning the fine line between being a doormat and being able to forgive and move on is a good thing.
 

pr0nstar

TRIBE Member
Originally posted by janiecakes
We all fuck up and sometimes make huge mistakes, and learning the fine line between being a doormat and being able to forgive and move on is a good thing.
Very well put..
 

Chris

Well-Known TRIBEr
Originally posted by Muad'ib
I am currently, for another week, living with my exgf. We are trying our best to be civil, but it gets really tough. I know that I would rather not have a falling out, I hope she feels the same and is not letting it accrue inside. I just think how much I cared the last three years and how it would be shame to ruin all that in the last week.
This is really sad to read....Surely there must be something that can be done to rescue yourself from the situation? I don't know you but its sounds like you still care for them, why let them go?

Anyway, I don't have much to add to this depressing thread that people haven't added already, for me it really depends on what brought two people to the point where they need to cut loose.

Enough of this emotional dribble, back to the Hawt Girl Thread....
 

Chris

Well-Known TRIBEr
Originally posted by janiecakes
I don't think things stay the same after a huge falling out, but that doesn't mean you can't re-start or continue to have a good relationship. It will just be different, and different isn't necessarily bad.

We all fuck up and sometimes make huge mistakes, and learning the fine line between being a doormat and being able to forgive and move on is a good thing.
Well said
 
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KillaLadY

TRIBE Member
Things always happen for a reason... and if they do, learn from them, don't go back and deal with the same pattern.
 

Silvershadow

TRIBE Member
I had a falling out with a very good friend of 10 years about 5 years ago... I think we've spoken twice since, and the last time was in early 1999. I was extremely hurt by this.

I'm a very forgiving person, and if he were to contact me now, I'd be more than happy to talk to him.

Do I think things could ever be the same? HELL no. I made the first step to patch things up some years ago. He was clearly not interested. Even if we started talking again, I'm sure we'd never be as close. We'd be at best acquaintances, or those people that hang out together, but have very shallow conversations and never talk about anything personal. I certainly wouldn't care about him the same way. I also probably could never trust him to not let me down again.
 

Silvershadow

TRIBE Member
On the other hand, my best friend is an ex-boyfriend of mine... We dated for 11 months. I broke up with him. He was very bitter and very angry toward me... We didn't talk at all for about 2-3 months, then he got in touch with me, and we talked things out... and now, 3 years later, we're best friends and closer than we've ever been. We're much better as friends than as a couple.

So it CAN happen, it all depends on the people involved... however I doubt that things can ever be EXACTLY the same as they were. They will be different... but sometimes different is good.
 

pr0nstar

TRIBE Member
Originally posted by Silvershadow
On the other hand, my best friend is an ex-boyfriend of mine... We dated for 11 months. I broke up with him. He was very bitter and very angry toward me... We didn't talk at all for about 2-3 months, then he got in touch with me, and we talked things out... and now, 3 years later, we're best friends and closer than we've ever been. We're much better as friends than as a couple.

So it CAN happen, it all depends on the people involved... however I doubt that things can ever be EXACTLY the same as they were. They will be different... but sometimes different is good.
Yep, same with me.. Janine is my best friend, dated for 3 years and found out in the end, better friends than lovers.

pr0nstar :D
 

Eclectic

TRIBE Member
Originally posted by pr0nstar
Learn forgiveness, it's a lot easier than just eliminating great people from your life because of mistakes.

Doesn't mean you have to be a previous partner after they wrong you once or twice or whatever.

But for you to not forgive them, only weighs on your shoulders IMO.

pr0nstar

Forgiveness is fine....if the person you're forgiving actually wants your forvgiveness and cares for you.

But if they could care less what happened and continued doing things just to hurt you....forgiveness is a very far fetched goal to be reaching for.
 
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