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What about Regret?

The Operator

TRIBE Member
Ok... so up until last night I was a fervent believer that regret is an unnecessary exercise. Let me qualify this first before I explain why I consider otherwise now.

Life is a fold catastrophe, meaning that there is only forward movement, and we cannot change what has happened in the past. There is no remedy. In this case, wouldn't regret be futile? I mean, you can evaluate experiences as being positive or negative, but if there is no way to alter the circumstances what is the use of feeling sorry about not being able to change them? I'm not denying the ability to learn from such circumstances, but to regret them seems pointless because changing the situation is an impossibilty.

So then I was lying awake last night contemplating past experiences, and noticed that I was trying to figure out if I either did not approve of the way I had acted, or if I could have acted a different way, resulting in a different outcome. Obviously, these thoughts reflect regret.

Regardless of my personal affiliation with regret, what do all of you think about it? I'd love to hear some opinions.
 
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pr0nstar

TRIBE Member
I never regret anything really.

I wish somethings didn't work out the way they did, but I don't regret that they didn't.

I believe in fate, I believe everything happens for a reason.

You take from your experiences, good and bad and learn and grow and change from them. Not dwell on them and try to fix them, figure them out, etc...

Move on, move forward.
Life is a long journey, enjoy it.

pr0nstar :D
 

vveerrgg

TRIBE Promoter
its good to reflect, learn and go forward.... but holding on with regret or anger or anything negative is so pointless. i totallly agree... its pointless to live with regret.

although there are SOME things I regret.... can't change and have learned to live with...
 
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geminigirl

TRIBE Member
Originally posted by pr0nstar
I never regret anything really.

I wish somethings didn't work out the way they did, but I don't regret that they didn't.

I believe in fate, I believe everything happens for a reason.

You take from your experiences, good and bad and learn and grow and change from them. Not dwell on them and try to fix them, figure them out, etc...

Move on, move forward.
Life is a long journey, enjoy it.

pr0nstar :D

Excellent post Kenny. My thoughts exactly.:)
 

PRIMAL

TRIBE Member
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PosTMOd

Well-Known TRIBEr
Originally posted by deep
Regret can be constructive ...

Only in carefully doled out portion sizes.

Regret is guilt's cousin, and the emotions themselves can override the ability to focus on what caused them. One needs the ability to apportion out responsibity for the actions that cause guilt or regret, and to do this, one needs to be able to examine the actions as objectively as possible. And that is one of the most difficult things imaginable.
 
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deep

TRIBE Member
Originally posted by PosTMOd
Only in carefully doled out portion sizes.

Regret is guilt's cousin, and the emotions themselves can override the ability to focus on what caused them. One needs the ability to apportion out responsibity for the actions that cause guilt or regret, and to do this, one needs to be able to examine the actions as objectively as possible. And that is one of the most difficult things imaginable.

Yup, when it starts interfering with actually doing something about past mistakes then it's problematic. But it can be thought of constructively as a reference point for further optimization. I think it's a matter of perspective, whether one sees a past mistake as indication of a general tendency to fail or something that could be improved. vroom
 

lucky1

TRIBE Member
when I was younger I would replay things I did again and again in my head and wish I had done things differnetly. (regret)

Then I learned you gain nothing from living in the past and learned to live for my futrure actions and try and and take lessons from past *mistakes*.

Makes me a much happier, secure, self liking, person.
I can also sleep at night now and don't suffer the insomnia I used to when i couldn't turn my mind off.

I still sometimes get things stuck in my head but then I realize that dwelling on them isn't going to change things that have happened. So there is no point.
 
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