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Typical Porn Occurrences!

poker face

TRIBE Member
1. Women wear high heels to bed.

2. Men are never impotent

3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.
4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.

5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.

6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly middle-aged men.

7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blow job.

8. Women always orgasm when men do.

9. A blow job will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.

10. All women are noisy fucks.

12. Those tits are real

13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's ass cheeks.

14. Men always groan 'OH YEAH' when they cum.

15. If there are two of them they 'high five' each other, and the girl isn't disgusted.

16. Double penetration makes women smile.

18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes the boyfriend won't bash the shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.

19. There's always a plot

20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the ass.

21. Nurses suck patients cocks.

22. Men always pull out

23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking both of you.

24. Women never have headaches.

25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to 'suck it'

26. Ass holes are clean

27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned

28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's pants and find a cock there.

29. Men don't have to beg

30. When standing during a blow job, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip

31. Pigtails = handlebars
 

MoFo

TRIBE Member
Originally posted by poker face

25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to 'suck it'

I tend to forget sometimes as well. I end up thinking about the Dow Jones or what kind of rug to get for my room...
 

nusty

TRIBE Member
Re: Re: Typical Porn Occurrences!

Originally posted by MoFo


I tend to forget sometimes as well. I end up thinking about the Dow Jones or what kind of rug to get for my room...
It should be a very plush rug (one of those shag rugs!) to prevent people from hurting their knees (temper tantrum) while they're down there.

And it's true, the dow jones fasinates everyone. I dream that I AM the dow jones and everyone is thinking of ME. It really is quite flattering. :D
 

smile

TRIBE Member
Originally posted by poker face

9. A blow job will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.



ummm.....i think this would apply to real life too.


26. Ass holes are clean


they usually are, in real life (unless the girl hasn't showered for like 2 days or something)


27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned


once again, in real life, some women like having their ass cummed on.
 
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