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Today I purchased a dead Pig

Jeffsus

TRIBE Member
A few times when I was in Africa I offered to buy dead chickens. With feathers. they were cheaper, about $2 or 170 tanzanian Shillingis. Gold pressed latinum.

My Swahili wasn't very good and a guy made me pay $3 instead of the $0.30 the he was asking. Haha, whatever, I hope it worked out well for him.

But today I was not getting ripped off. I went to the Vietnamese store and ordered an entire pig.

Yeah, I was probably drunk. Yeah, it cost more than $3.

When I woke up this morning there were three lesbians on my couch. And there was one straight male, whom I hoped to God was going to come to my room, but didn't. Another sad chapter in my life.

So the cab would not allow the pig into his trunk unless is was wrapped. There was a lot of angry Vietnamese noise but the cab driver and the pig dealer came to an agreement.

Once upon a time I lived with a Norwegian in a strange house in Alliston Ontario., A very large pipe organ. His brother came from Norway and I think mental health issues ended that story.

So when I got the pig home, actually nobody helped me. I think the cabbie was just happy to get me to my house. I had to drag the pig up my stairs, unlock my door, and then in my kitchen, cut its neck to make blood sausage. I put in African "Aro" spice.

I would love to link to Bach's "Toccata and Fugue".

You are welcome to come here for dinner. Fresh meat, lots of prostitutes on both genders, all the cocaine you can snort, and a gentle bed when you need to calk down.

-jM
A&D
 
Stop Bill C-10

Bernnie Federko

TRIBE Member
I already got danish style ribs going with a kansas city style rib rub I concocted, so no go for me. Plus I have a squash match first thing Monday morning, and I live in Toronto. Otherwise, yeah could have had some pork n beans.
 

Jeffsus

TRIBE Member
I already got danish style ribs going with a kansas city style rib rub I concocted, so no go for me. Plus I have a squash match first thing Monday morning, and I live in Toronto. Otherwise, yeah could have had some pork n beans.

Bernnie, we really should meat. Do you like bacon?

-jM
A&D
 

Bernnie Federko

TRIBE Member
Yes, we ought (to meet; although your pun is delicious). And Yes, although that requires a healthy plethora of calcium carbonate on stand by for me since I occasionally experience acid re-flux after consumption.
 
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tribe cannabis accessories silver grinders
tribe cannabis accessories silver grinders

djfear

TRIBE Member
I considered buying a whole pig yesterday at the north st lawrence market, but then realized that I don't love pork that much. Then I bought a massive brisket that ended up being pork (I swear the guy said it was beef). In any case, silly me. I baked it for 3 hours and now I have the equivalent of a whole week's worth of montreal smoked meat.
 

Jeffsus

TRIBE Member
OK I'm sober now but there's still a dead pig on my back porch. Money well spent. This is the only time I'll say it but thank God it's winter.

WTF? I don't know what to do with a pig. Can I make bacon out of it somehow?

On the plus side I found a case of beer in my office. So, even though it's only 6am, I think what I'll do is get drunk, surf the internet for instructions on how to butcher a pig, and then make bacon.

Except the thing is surely frozen solid now, won't fit in my microwave, and I don't have any butchers knives. I mean, will a garbage truck even take a pig? Beer.

-jM
A&D
 

Jeffsus

TRIBE Member
Where does the bacon come from? The belly? How does it get into thin little slices? Do I have to do that? It looked kind of furry. I assume someone has to take the skin off, not me. Or is that pork rinds? I kind of like pork rinds. Do I have to shave it?

-jM
A&D
 

Jeffsus

TRIBE Member
So I did get drunk, and looked up how to butcher a pig, but it's frozen.

So, now I am sadly sitting in my big house, alone, and wondering what to do.

I already looked up Justin Bieber Naked photos, lots of them online, made me feel like a pedophile, so I'm not cool with that.

-jM
A&D
 
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Jeffsus

TRIBE Member
OK. Now I'm really drunk.

Mofo, can you explain to me the differencec between Chinese and Viet? Cause you all basically look the same to me.

Heartfelt welcome to come here for dinner, lot's of meat.

-jM
A&D
 

Bernnie Federko

TRIBE Member
Jeff, put an add on Craigslist, or Tribe's B/S/R room, for a butcher who makes house calls. I mean, what's the worst that could occur?
 
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