Then there's this guy in Ward 32 LOL:
James Sears, Candidate for Ward 32 - Toronto City Hall
From his website:
A BRIEF LIST OF SKILLS & ATTRIBUTES THAT MAKES JAMES SEARS THE ONLY VIABLE CANDIDATE FOR WARD 32 COUNCILLOR:
-Physician, University of Toronto, Class of '88
-Elected Chief Intern, Doctors Hospital, 1989
-Delivered a record 95 babies during 1 year internship
-Captain, Canadian Armed Forces, Honourably Discharged, 1992
-Canada's #1 Medical Fraud & Malpractice Investigator Since 1994
-World's #1 Seduction Guru & Male Confidence Builder Since 2005
-Advertising & Marketing Consultant Extraordinaire
-Ontario's #1 Trainer of Sales Consultants, with Specialization in Mortgage & Real Estate Agents
-Small Business Start-Up Consultant
-Writer, Poet, Ethicist, Philosopher & Heretic
-Religious & Spiritual Leader
-Raceologist & Phrenologist
-Revisionist Historian & Apologist with Special Interest in World Religions, Hitler & The Nazis, Marxist Crimes Against Humanity, Government Conspiracies
-Anti-Feminist & Anti-Metrosexual Agitator
-Anti-Marxist Crusader
-Christian, Pro-Life & Family Values Advocate (Go Jesus!)
-Christian Libertarian Theorist & Advocate
-Jewellery & Fashion Designer
-Consistent Scorer of >60% Right-Brain Dominance
-Clairvoyant & Faith Healer
-Gourmet Chef & Nutritional Consultant
-Former Online Restaurant Critic
-Proudly Served on High School Chess Team (2nd boarder)
-Proudly Served on High School Typing Team (128 words per minute, #2 in city; I would have been #1 but I lost to broad on electric typewriter after inept typing teacher misinformed me that we had to use manual typewriters)
-Legal Consultant Specializing in Sexual Assault & Harassment, Highway Traffic Act, Charter Motions, Poison Pen Legal Letters, etc.
-Amateur Chiropractor, Accountant, Dental Hygienist, Massage Therapist, Psychotherapist, etc.
-Expert At Shaming People Into Doing the Right Thing
-Professional Shrew Tamer & Spanking Administrator
-Proud Owner of a Beautiful, Svelte REAL CANADIAN (Irish-Scottish-French-Aboriginal) Wife
-Shih-Tzu Enthusiast & Precision Belly Rubber
-Generous With His Money But Stingy With Everyone Else's
-Most Brutally Honest Person on the Planet
-Never Touches A Drop Of Alcohol (ethanol increases estrogen levels in men, thereby feminizing them, and making them useless in bed)
-Pot Legalization Advocate & Occasional Strain Tester
-Grower of Hair That Puts Yanni to Shame
-The Only Major Candidate that is "Lawsuit-Proof" by having No Assets in His Name, Preventing Corrupt Elements From Silencing Him Through Extortion, Blackmail or Manipulation by way of Employing the Threat of Litigation for Slander or Libel
-The Only Major Candidate that is "Blackmail/Extortion-Proof" Because All His Skeletons are Strewn Across the Internet (90% of which are total lies, but discourage blackmailers and extortionists)