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The whining/bitching/moaning thread v.2

Beer babe

TRIBE Member
Beerbabe do you feel like your therapist is really helping you? Sometimes anxiety gets worse before it gets better but try to evaluate whether you are making progress and getting insight and behavioural things to do from them, they should be focused on helping you prevent your anxiety from further restricting your life and managing your triggers and stress levels. I say this because I saw a psychiatrist for a long time who got me on SSRI's but never really helped me manage my anxiety in any other way (their solution was to keep upping my dosage if I continued to have panic attacks, I had terrible side effects and it took me forever to get myself off of them). Now that I've seen someone who was more effective (a psychologist) I'm just mad that I stayed with the other person for so long. Paying for a good psychologist is so worth it in my opinion.

I have had anxiety issues and panic attacks and I think part of why I overcame them was I continued to white knuckle through the panic attacks and didn't avoid situations that made me anxious as much as I could stand, and obviously I also did the other work associated with anxiety disorders - stress management, breathing, exercise, and so on. Walking around having panic attacks sucked, but I knew if I avoided situations out of fear it would keep snowballing and I'd be stuck at home feeling bad. Now I'm at a place where I have some anticipatory anxiety but I don't have panic attacks, and I'm working to reduce that anticipatory anxiety to the same level as what any 'normal' person would have in those same situations.
I'm very lucky to have an amazing therapist (she doesn't have authority to prescribe drugs) who is always giving me new perspectives, seems to understand me literally better than anyone else has with this hard time i'm going through, and always recommends calming techniques (breathing, relaxing muscles, yoga etc). She's really big into that stuff. But she got really concerned (and rightfully so) when she heard what was happening lately and recommended maybe speaking with my doctor about some anti-anxiety options. Problem is these anxiety attacks are so overwhelming and sometimes last so long, that it's hard to even see them passing and that brings some very bad thoughts to mind. :( So really i'm just looking for something to get through those moments only - not to take on a regular basis.

Trying to be a fighter here and not drown in all this. Not always easy. But i really appreciate what you said about fighting through the panic attacks and anxiety. Maybe i'll be strong enough a litte more down the road to try that, i just don't think i can right now.
 

NemIsis

TRIBE Member
Beer babe, I don't know your situation. You've never really explained it. So I can't say I know what you are going through.

If you can do without the drugs, I's suggest you try. I don't want to get into what I've been into, but there was a time when I was anxiety ridden as events just seemed to engulf me. My doctor prescribed drugs and I never took them. I tried to deal without them, and I managed. It was tough, but I did.

Like I said, I have no idea what you are going through, but if you can try, do.

Big hugs as always. :)
 

janiecakes

TRIBE Member
There is no shame in taking medication for anxiety. A trusted therapist recommended she investigate some medication options and I don't really think someone on the internet who is not her therapist should be contradicting that advice without even knowing details of the situation.

Beer babe, I hope things start to look up for you soon. Severe anxiety is a tough thing to deal with but it sounds like you are putting supports in place to get better.
 

rubytuesday

TRIBE Member
Yeah I realize my post made me sound anti-SSRI and I'm not trying to counter what BB's doctors are saying, I just wanted to note that there are side effects and that doctors sometimes downplay them, my experience was hopefully not the norm.

And my post was a bit confusing, I pushed through my panic attacks without medication until I got treatment and it was a terrible time in my life, I hated every day, and then when I took SSRI's getting through the day became easier in spite of the side effects and who knows if I would have been able to keep doing that without medication.

And I don't mean to imply that taking medication is the easy way out or makes you less strong because it's not at all Beer Babe, I was just trying to emphasize good behavioural therapy as a keystone and to continue evaluating whether you are getting that from your therapist because once you're comfortable with someone it can be hard to do that. :)
 

mariazmess

TRIBE Member
Beerbabe: this can be a really overwhelming time, as you're trying to figure out how to deal with the symptoms of what's really going on deep down inside.

Keep breathing.
Trust that everything will be ok. (It will.)
Keep talking. (To your therapist, to your doctor, to us, to your friends.)

The problem with prescription drugs or any other "helper", is that you won't know until you try. Keep researching online and talk to a doctor as soon as you can. Don't feel pressured to take something, just discuss your options and then research them online.

You may also want to look into some naturopathic aids, or certain kinds of tea. While you're investigating your pharmaceutical options, it's probably a good and less-expensive option. :) White tea is soothing and helps calm anxiety. Chamomile tea is awesome too especially before bed. Tasty too. Doesn't hurt to try.

If you know of a herbalist in your neighbourhood, you could always visit and ask about anti-anxiety herbal mixtures you could drink.

Vitamin D supplements as well! SO KEY!

Good luck!
 
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Beer babe

TRIBE Member
Thank you so much for all the perspectives, i really want to hear everyone's view on this. My doc and i need to have a conversation to see what works best for me but i want to take some other opinions into account before we have that conversation, so thank you so much, ladies! :)

Mariazmess, i hadn't considered tea actually (not sure why that slipped my mind), i'll give anything a try so thank you! And funny you mention vit D...i literally just went back on it so i'm hoping that will have some effect too!

You guys are the best...seriously. :)
 

NemIsis

TRIBE Member
There is no shame in taking medication for anxiety. A trusted therapist recommended she investigate some medication options and I don't really think someone on the internet who is not her therapist should be contradicting that advice without even knowing details of the situation.
You're right. I did sound like I was contradicting her therapist, and that certainly isn't what I meant to do at all. I rushed through that post without thinking. Not the best thing to do in this situation.

Yeah I realize my post made me sound anti-SSRI and I'm not trying to counter what BB's doctors are saying, I just wanted to note that there are side effects and that doctors sometimes downplay them, my experience was hopefully not the norm.


And I don't mean to imply that taking medication is the easy way out or makes you less strong because it's not at all Beer Babe, I was just trying to emphasize good behavioural therapy as a keystone and to continue evaluating whether you are getting that from your therapist because once you're comfortable with someone it can be hard to do that. :)
^This is it exactly.

Beerbabe: this can be a really overwhelming time, as you're trying to figure out how to deal with the symptoms of what's really going on deep down inside.

Keep breathing.
Trust that everything will be ok. (It will.)
Keep talking. (To your therapist, to your doctor, to us, to your friends.)

The problem with prescription drugs or any other "helper", is that you won't know until you try. Keep researching online and talk to a doctor as soon as you can. Don't feel pressured to take something, just discuss your options and then research them online.

You may also want to look into some naturopathic aids, or certain kinds of tea. While you're investigating your pharmaceutical options, it's probably a good and less-expensive option. :) White tea is soothing and helps calm anxiety. Chamomile tea is awesome too especially before bed. Tasty too. Doesn't hurt to try.

If you know of a herbalist in your neighbourhood, you could always visit and ask about anti-anxiety herbal mixtures you could drink.

Vitamin D supplements as well! SO KEY!

Good luck!
^and this. These posts said it much better than I.

When I saw my doctor, I was feeling pressure to take the meds, and that bothered me. When I did the research on the meds that had been prescribed, I decided not to take them. That was my situation though, and everyone is different. I didn't do it alone though. I changed to a therapist who helped me with different tecniques, and eventually I didn't need to see her anymore.

Perhaps I over-reacted in my post as you seemed worried about taking meds, and I interpreted that as you feeling pressure. My fault. Talk over your feelings with your therapist and your doctor.

No matter what, we're all here for you and just want you to get better as soon as possible :)
 

mariazmess

TRIBE Member
Mariazmess, i hadn't considered tea actually (not sure why that slipped my mind), i'll give anything a try so thank you! And funny you mention vit D...i literally just went back on it so i'm hoping that will have some effect too!
My "nutritional healing bible" says that high doses of vitamin C are also known to have a powerful tranquilizing effect and they recommend 5,000mg daily! "Necessary for proper function of adrenal glands and brain chemistry. Known to decrease anxiety." who knew?!

I can scan the pages out of my book if you want some vitamin/diet stuff you can do while you get yourself sorted. Email me at mariazmess at gmail. com

This book gives you which foods you should eat to decrease anxiety (apricots, asparagus, avocados, bananas, raw nuts, salmon, yogurt, etc.) and has techniques for breathing exercises, in addition to saying how much of each vitamin you should take.

It says that you should, "check for iron deficiency; this can increase the risk of panic attacks."

Huh. It actually says that you shouldn't use chamomile on an on-going basis as it can cause an allergy to ragweed. Learned something new today. ;)
 
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Britt

New Member
Things have gone further downhill for me lately. In the past 3-4 months, i've had trouble going out by myself on the weekends. I get really bad pains in my stomach, have trouble breathing, and feel serious panic and anxiety. It's weird but it's like I feel scared of being around people. I also feel like i'm in this fog most of the time...my work has been affected lately too (made a mistake that I'm lucky didn't get me fired). My best friend has been really good to me - he goes with me to get stuff i need or on the really bad days picks up whatever i need. Luckily i'm still okay getting to work (i think it's because i feel safe there), but i'm even finding days where i have trouble with the trip in and back from work.

My therapist was great and talked with me about it. She seemed to think that it might be a good idea to see my doctor and get a prescription for some anti-anxiety medication. I have always been really against taking prescriptions for this type of thing, but i don't know that i have much of a choice at this point. It's so overwhelming at times i just can't take it.

My therapist went over some of the types, and Ativan sounded like the best one of all the ones she explained to me.

Has anyone taken it before? Any experience/recommendations you could share would be most appreciated.

I'm sorry you are going through a tough time.

I've been on so many medications in my life. There is no shame in taking medication for mental health care issues.

What qualifications does your therapist have? Have you had a session (or more) where you go over your full medical and personal history?

Have you been diagnosed with a mental illness? All that information will help your doctor prescribe something that will help your unique symptoms.

Ativan will reduce your anxiety symptoms. You will notice a difference immediately.

SSRIs are more complicated. It can take up to 2 months before you notice a difference. Your doctor will evaluate your progress at that point.

SSRIs have more side effects compared with benzodiazepines. Increased anxiety symptoms are an extremely common side effect. Research the drug online on the manufacturers website and ask yourself if you can tolerate those side effects.

SSRIs and benzodiazepines (like Ativan) are equally habit forming. Doctors will talk about discontinuation syndrome with SSRIs. But that is just prettier medical terminology for withdrawal.

If you stop taking SSRIs or benzos you have to taper your dosage under the care of a health care professional.

From personal experience I would recommend trying Ativan or Clonazepam (it lasts longer) first, especially if you are undergoing therapy at the same time.

I've seen you mention that you ran out of benefits and couldn't see your therapist as often as needed.

Go to CAMH and check out the notice board near the entrance on College street. There are always several studies running looking for participants with anxiety and depressive symptoms who aren't on medications.

Waiting for mental health care is an unfortunate reality. Continuity of care is also a problem for many people.

I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder about two years ago. I will be on several medications for the rest of my life.

But the most effective treatment I received was 6 weeks of Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT).

DBT is very structured and you don't have wait to see a therapist to start.

Do you have a tablet with the kindle app? You can buy this book now and start learning new skills that will help you feel better TODAY.

It isn't a magic cure. But you will notice small improvements as you learn new skills and start practicing them on a daily basis.

The work and help doesn't stop after finishing the work book. DBT gives you a set of daily practices that maintain your emotional and physical health.

The sweet part? It only takes 15 minutes to do every day.

DBT skills and practices will help anyone. I can't say enough good things about it.

I'm not perfect and will go off the rails a few times a year. I won't catch a trigger quickly enough and things slide quickly.

I might need medication adjustments because I have a chronic illness. But without fail doing the daily DBT practices helps the most.

No one deserves to feel so anxious and overwhelmed like you are feeling now. I know you are strong enough to start making small changes in your life.

If DBT helps me manage my craziness, I know it will help you:)

I'm not on here that often but feel free to PM me if you have any questions.
 

mariazmess

TRIBE Member
so i think i'm done trying to convince myself that my marriage is going to work, or that i have the energy to keep it alive. going to the homestead with the kidlets to think this through.
 

Metal Morphosis

TRIBE Member
awww no girl :(
sad
i have no words for you - just sending you virtual hugs

i thought i was going to come in here to find people moaning about the weather, but this is much more serious than the weather.
 

Beer babe

TRIBE Member
Sorry to hear that mariazmess. I've seen a lot of marriages falling apart lately, I can't imagine how hard that must be, especially with kiddies.

When i was helping someone get through their marriage ending (has two kids that are 8 & 12), i mentioned that going through divorce probably isn't the same as when we were kids. Now kids see it everywhere and it doesn't come as quite a shock. And to be honest, when there's that much tension in the house all the time, it ends up being a relief to the kids as they feel so much of that tension. And kids are so resilient. His kids were so great about it. Gave him a bunch of stuff they wanted him to put in their new rooms for them.

Beyond that, make sure what you do is going to make YOU happy. Ending a marriage is not an easy decision, but if you're emptying yourself out just to keep it going, it might be time to walk away.

Big hugs...no matter what you decide, it will all be ok. :)
 

mariazmess

TRIBE Member
thanks ladies! i'm very much in the "destiny" camp. it's funny though, i never really believed in marriage -- it was really because he couldn't come to this country otherwise, and we wouldn't even have had a shot at dating if we hadn't married. and you're right, divorce isn't what it used to be, but for some people it's still very wrong. i still love him, i just can't be his wife. i feel like i "belong" to him, and i won't be anyone's property.
 
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