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The whining/bitching/moaning thread v.2

mitsuko souma

TRIBE Member
The system is flawed.
Did you find it was helping you when you were going? < not sure how else to word that one, i know it's not as simple as flicking a switch and then everything is okay again. But it sounds like you want to continue with it so if she's any good, hopefully she can give you some good options for the interim as far as other arrangements, "homework" (although I loathe than term), journaling, etc.
I should really take my own advice, on one hand I feel like therapy would be good for me - i have ALOT of pent-up shit - but on the other hand I think that's a can of worms I'm not sure I'm ready to open.
 

Beer babe

TRIBE Member
Yeah i was thinking exactly that, MS. I'm going to ask her how to cope in those weeks where i don't have her to work shit out with. She's been pretty awesome - it's crazy how much she understands about me. Not sure i've ever had anyone tune into me like that. But on the down side i'm still having trouble opening up in a lot of ways. I know what you mean when you say you're not ready to open the can of worms. I'm forcing myself to go and try to pry open the issue and deal with it. Not easy given how traumatic this has all been for me.

Thanks for the thoughts, dude. Hope you get to that place soon too. I'll say i must have rescheduled that first appointment like 4 times. I was not ready to confront anything. But it gets easier each time. Not sure what you're dealing with, but with the right person, they'll give you a safe and warm place to unravel.
 

mitsuko souma

TRIBE Member
I am positive those guys are used to people rescheduling their 1st appt !
My mom was really nudging me (she's not a 'pushy' lady) to go see a psychiatrist
she knows, ie. one she is friends with and almost married before she married my dad (wtf).
There's no way I'd be comfortable with that, I'd need to 'unravel' with a total stranger.
As for you, I hate to lay these nuggets on you but,

- All you can do is try
- Rome wasn't built in a day

:)
 

Soulster

TRIBE Member
'sup mistuka! been awhile. remember me?? (hint: the lady who makes delicious blueberry pancakes)

re: therapy... if you're doing it right then things usually get worse before they get better. but then once you've waded through your shit and faced it all there's no turning back. i think most people don't realize how hard therapy is, and how much work you have to invest in it, and how many things you have to face that you really don't want to face - things you didn't even realize you were trying to ignore.

i remember when i had my first major breakthrough in therapy (8 years ago!) and i felt like i'd been hit by a mack truck. i walked around like a zombie for weeks dealing with the enormity of the realizations about myself that i had finally faced up to. but then after that things slowly got better and better. it was like i had been living like half a person up until that point and now finally i was living like a full human being.

life's never been better 8 years later, and i barely see my shrink anymore. i have a functional relationship with a man i love, a stable job, and i no longer suffer regular depressive episodes and anxiety. :)
 

mitsuko souma

TRIBE Member
life's never been better 8 years later, and i barely see my shrink anymore. i have a functional relationship with a man i love, a stable job, and i no longer suffer regular depressive episodes and anxiety. :)
That's great news :)
HI JESS !!!
I think I dreamt about your blueberry pancakes. Those were the bizness
 

Dirty Girl

TRIBE Member
I wanna write some really mean shit, but I like Beer Babe so I dont wanna be a bitch to her. But honestly unless you tell us what the fuck so awful happened to you, then i dont think you should be allowed to bitch whine and moan about it anymore. I cant take not knowing anymore. its driving me crazy.
 

Dirty Girl

TRIBE Member
exactly, thats why i have the authority to tell her to get over it. cause im the queen.
the only real solution to her problem is for her ex to die. if she's this traumatized its the only way she'll really feel better. it worked wonders for me.
 

lucky1

TRIBE Member
I disagree that "therapy" should make you feel like crap before you feel better. Not my experience.

I saw a councilor after my cancer treatment to deal with the emotional toll of it all. Getting diagnosed with an incurable cancer really is hard to get your head around. My biggest thing, that I did not realize before therapy is that the plans I had for the longest time about the rest of my life will not come true, and things are now very different for me. so i needed to grieve that life. this the the so called "New Normal" all the cancer pamphlets with the smiling old people on the cover talk about.

Anyway I did some sessions and felt better, but recently attended a retreat for young adults with cancer and it was really great for me, like a weekend of group therapy meeting 20 other young people cancer survivors across Canada.
 

IgStar

TRIBE Member
Therapy works different for everyone, there is no one size fits all.
but there comes a time when you seriously just need to move on. You aren't doing yourself any favours by wallowing in it. That may sound harsh, but it's true.

I lived in a pity party for almost 2.5yrs. Went through 4 different counsellors, etc etc..one day you just need to get up and say "I AM NOT GOING TO LET THIS SHITTY THING RUN MY LIFE ANY LONGER" ...b/c that's pretty much what it does. I lost friends b/c nobody wanted to hear about my shit, christ after almost 3yrs..I didn't wanna hear myself chirp anymore! I guess I just got sick of myself! LOL

beer babe - I truly hope you find a way to move past whatever it is that happened. whether it's forgiving someone, or yourself..you gotta let it go. life is too damn short.
good luck :) it won't be a fun journey, but it'll be worth it
 

rubytuesday

TRIBE Member
I just want to add that once you are with a professional you connect with and start to talk about things, issues are rarely as complicated or impossible to deal with/get closure on as they seem in your head. Living with all of that crap in your head feels bad, dealing with it in a structured setting with someone you trust should feel like a weight is lifting.

BB it sounds like you like your therapist and it sucks that you have to wait to see them again but in the meantime they've probably given you homework and things to think about, you could also go to the library and see if any books in the psych/self help section speak to you to tide you over.
 

Beer babe

TRIBE Member
You guys are all awesome, thank you so much for all your thoughts and suggestions. I need all the help i can get and it helps to hear how you guys dealt with stuff in your life. :)

DG, sorry i haven't said what it is, but it's really personal...i could barely talk to my very close friends about it let alone posting it on a message board. It would probably drive me bananas too if i had to see someone posting over and over like this. I'm trying not to be the whiner and be the person who turns adversity into strength, but it's been tough and sometimes i gotta let it out.

Iggy, your advice/thought resonated the most with me. thank you so much for what you said, it gives me hope.
 

IgStar

TRIBE Member
Iggy, your advice/thought resonated the most with me. thank you so much for what you said, it gives me hope.
I found the best advice I got from someone when I was in "pity party mode" was basically "deal with it and get over it" LOL
I won't lie...I was initially pretty pissed off when this "friend" said this to me..after a few days of mulling it over, I realized...she was right.
It was just time for me to figure my shit out and let it go and move onto the next chapter, whatever it may be.
wasn't an easy journey when I finally let my guard down, but man o man...I finally realized what it meant when people said they feel 20million lbs lighter once they have faced their demons.

thank god that friend is still in my life. she knew I needed tough love I guess.
 

Beer babe

TRIBE Member
Things have gone further downhill for me lately. In the past 3-4 months, i've had trouble going out by myself on the weekends. I get really bad pains in my stomach, have trouble breathing, and feel serious panic and anxiety. It's weird but it's like I feel scared of being around people. I also feel like i'm in this fog most of the time...my work has been affected lately too (made a mistake that I'm lucky didn't get me fired). My best friend has been really good to me - he goes with me to get stuff i need or on the really bad days picks up whatever i need. Luckily i'm still okay getting to work (i think it's because i feel safe there), but i'm even finding days where i have trouble with the trip in and back from work.

My therapist was great and talked with me about it. She seemed to think that it might be a good idea to see my doctor and get a prescription for some anti-anxiety medication. I have always been really against taking prescriptions for this type of thing, but i don't know that i have much of a choice at this point. It's so overwhelming at times i just can't take it.

My therapist went over some of the types, and Ativan sounded like the best one of all the ones she explained to me.

Has anyone taken it before? Any experience/recommendations you could share would be most appreciated.
 

lucky1

TRIBE Member
Ativan is a good drug, not going to lie, It works for me and I have used it regularly since my cancer diagnosis. but I'm not sure you are describing the right use for it. It is also quite addictive, and can be habbit forming, and also you can build tolerance to it. I find it just knocks me out so would not be a daytime med.

In my case I have used it to counter act the side effects of the strong steroids I was prescribe as part of my cancer treatment (they cause mood swings and insomnia as major side effects) and I have used it as a "sleeping" pill off and on since my diagnosis.

A freind has a panic disorder and anxiety with depression. She takes paxil for it and it seems to work. Did you doctor talk to you about this one?
 

IgStar

TRIBE Member
yeah, from my understanding of Ativan, you wanna take it at night b/c it knocks you right out. I could be wrong, I have never taken it, just heard that from a few people I know who do.
I have a friend who is on Paxil, she has super bad anxiety...I mean, I go through periods of anxiety but seem to manage it with breathing and meditation...but I know that sometimes that just isn't enough for some people.
Just make sure you educate yourself as much as possible before you start any of those drugs. I was on Effexor for about 6mths, years ago...I stopped cold turket cause that shit was fucking me up bigtime. Never went back on anything again b/c I was so freaked out.

good luck, I hope you find a way to start feeling better. with drugs or not :)
 

IgStar

TRIBE Member
in other news. I am sick as a dog. and my work is about to get very very stressful.
I actually had a panic attack this morning. first one in awhile. I hope that isn't going to be a regular thing again, b/c that would suck.

I want my bed. I have a feeling it's going to be a bad day here. something is up. I feel very uneasy. :(
and am in no way prepared to start training 3 interns for full days all at the same time.
what a gongshow this is going to be.
 

Beer babe

TRIBE Member
Ativan is a good drug, not going to lie, It works for me and I have used it regularly since my cancer diagnosis. but I'm not sure you are describing the right use for it. It is also quite addictive, and can be habbit forming, and also you can build tolerance to it. I find it just knocks me out so would not be a daytime med.

In my case I have used it to counter act the side effects of the strong steroids I was prescribe as part of my cancer treatment (they cause mood swings and insomnia as major side effects) and I have used it as a "sleeping" pill off and on since my diagnosis.

A freind has a panic disorder and anxiety with depression. She takes paxil for it and it seems to work. Did you doctor talk to you about this one?
Hmm, this is good to know, thanks for the info. I'll talk to my doc and see what works good for me. I need something that won't make me sleepy and definitely don't want something habit forming (my therapist said it wasn't).

Thanks for the advice, lucky1 :)
 

Beer babe

TRIBE Member
yeah, from my understanding of Ativan, you wanna take it at night b/c it knocks you right out. I could be wrong, I have never taken it, just heard that from a few people I know who do.
I have a friend who is on Paxil, she has super bad anxiety...I mean, I go through periods of anxiety but seem to manage it with breathing and meditation...but I know that sometimes that just isn't enough for some people.
Just make sure you educate yourself as much as possible before you start any of those drugs. I was on Effexor for about 6mths, years ago...I stopped cold turket cause that shit was fucking me up bigtime. Never went back on anything again b/c I was so freaked out.

good luck, I hope you find a way to start feeling better. with drugs or not :)
That's good to know, thanks Iggy! :)

Hope you're feeling better from that awful cold :(
 

R4V4G3D_SKU11S

TRIBE Member
Sorry, I don't know how that was posted:

I counsel mental health patients and your therapist is way off about Ativan not being habit forming. In fact, they have a high potential for substance abuse dependence. Plus, you can actually die from Ativan/Benzo withdrawal. Of course, not everyone who takes them becomes a raving benzo addict and keels over, but it is something to think about and discuss with your MD. They are certainly useful in certain, short-term use situations.

Ask your psychiatrist about SSRI's for anxiety as well. Once you find the right one, can be very effective with less side effects.
 

rubytuesday

TRIBE Member
Beerbabe do you feel like your therapist is really helping you? Sometimes anxiety gets worse before it gets better but try to evaluate whether you are making progress and getting insight and behavioural things to do from them, they should be focused on helping you prevent your anxiety from further restricting your life and managing your triggers and stress levels. I say this because I saw a psychiatrist for a long time who got me on SSRI's but never really helped me manage my anxiety in any other way (their solution was to keep upping my dosage if I continued to have panic attacks, I had terrible side effects and it took me forever to get myself off of them). Now that I've seen someone who was more effective (a psychologist) I'm just mad that I stayed with the other person for so long. Paying for a good psychologist is so worth it in my opinion.

I have had anxiety issues and panic attacks and I think part of why I overcame them was I continued to white knuckle through the panic attacks and didn't avoid situations that made me anxious as much as I could stand, and obviously I also did the other work associated with anxiety disorders - stress management, breathing, exercise, and so on. Walking around having panic attacks sucked, but I knew if I avoided situations out of fear it would keep snowballing and I'd be stuck at home feeling bad. Now I'm at a place where I have some anticipatory anxiety but I don't have panic attacks, and I'm working to reduce that anticipatory anxiety to the same level as what any 'normal' person would have in those same situations.
 

R4V4G3D_SKU11S

TRIBE Member
SSRI's work best in combination with therapy for anxiety.

Unfortunately yeah, most psychiatrists are only setup to dispense meds. A good one will connect you with therapy services.
 

rubytuesday

TRIBE Member
This was someone working in my school's counselling centre so it was unfortunate their counselling abilities were so limited relative to their fondness for SSRI's, but live and learn.
I know several people who had a hard time with SSRI side effects and subsequent SSRI discontinuation syndrome and just wanted to bring that up because doctors are usually very happy to give an SSRI script but less aware of the problems with SSRI usage, and it's the kind of thing that is hard to evaluate when you are considering using an SSRI. :)
 
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