I never really wanted children - I mean, I loved kids, just never really wanted my own. I loved babysitting, but the idea of being a parent used to scare me, A LOT.
I guess I just didn't really feel like taking on that responsibility - oh crap, I have a kid now, I can't go Vegas and gamble my paycheque away... lol
I changed my career and thinking about children just wasn't on my schedule, let alone plan to have one in the near future. Going through all the shit I've been through in the last 10 years, the thought of having a child was causing me to have panic attacks. I used to say: "oh, you need to really plan for a child, you have to have a lot of money saved in your bank account, you have to be 100% healthy, 100% ready, ready a million books, attend classes..."
But now, this year especially, I seem to have done a total 180 and I absolutely cannot wait until I have a child.
I am not sure what did it, I really have no clue and I also know that my life is busier now than it has ever been - but all of this could just simply be having the right partner to share all of this with. I used to always roll my eyes when I heard that, having the "right" partner - "WTF is the 'right' partner, really? That is the dumbest thing I ever heard!"
Well, I can't really explain it in words, but I feel I am with the "right" partner now and I really would feel honoured to carry our children.