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The Snow Plow Fairy

Jeffsus

TRIBE Member
For those of you who actually own a piece of earth rather than a box in the sky, this morning probably came with that dismal feeling "fuck. snow. shovel."

One time I got a warning from the city, via pamphlet:

city: >"Shovel that sidewalk or we will do it for you to the tune of $300."

I don't "own" that much sidewalk.

So this morning I scratched my nuts and looked out the window and thought "Good thing I have two cases of beer. But what am I gonna do when the city guys come around again?"

It's important to note that someone stole my two shovels.

So while sitting in my office drinking beer and surfing 60 symbols, I hear the roar of a snowplow.

Aha! The snowplow fairy came and unburied me! Well I had to help with the shovel and salt but I am now certified access free 100%!

tHANK YOU snow plow fairy.

-jM
A&D
 

Jeffsus

TRIBE Member
Bernnie, you are the mess that I would like relaxing in my bed.

I sleep on the right side, which means my left arm would be under your neck, and my right leg would be spooning you hard.

-jM
A&D
 
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Jeffsus

TRIBE Member
Well woke up this morning and all that effort was for shit.

Will this winter fuckin die already? The snow mounds in my neighbourhood are taller than I am. And, as I mentioned, my shovels are stolen so I can't clear my way.

I did notice though that the environmentally sound quantity of salt I dumped everywhere seems to be penetrating through, creating a slurry of sorts that, with some sunshine, might preclude my needing to shovel anytime soon.

Waaaaaiiiiiit for it....

-jM
A&D
 

Jeffsus

TRIBE Member
jefffus do you provide chicken balls when you start a bender?3
An unusual question, but I'll bite.

At the beginning of a bender I usually start alone. I order a case of beer and begin my research. This is usually a Friday after work, 50% of the time is a payday. The other times I just find money somehow.

Nobody bugs me on the Friday nights because I'm in an antisocial mood.

By Saturday morning I drinik up whatever was left and order a couple more cases. Sometime around midday people start showing up. While I try to continue researching, the cat-calls eventually draw me out of my office.

More people show up. More cases get ordered.

Around this point I cook. Not chicken balls, but, well for example last Saturday was curry chicken rice. And then of course the cocaine comes.

This is obviously where the bender gains some steam.

Sometimes we go out, sometimes we stay in, but the music get's loud, and, given my roommates connections, sometimes the clothes come off; the ratio of men to women can vary depending on the flair of the company.

Given the ingredients this sort of bender can last quite some time. Usually well into Monday morning where I make a great appearance and keep the machinery of international trade well lubricated.

-jM
A&D
 
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Jeffsus

TRIBE Member
The snow plow fairy came again! gOD I love this deal.

As for my dial-a-bottle.... not so much and it's been more than an hour... My backup reserves are getting low.

-jM
A&D
 

ndrwrld

TRIBE Member
i did all 4 corner houses at the intersection i live at, 3 houses deep, driveways and sidewalks.
got a dozen beers for my troubles.
not bad for a snowblower that's probably older than i am.
 
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Jeffsus

TRIBE Member
Haha, so many puns, so little time.

This is an award I only give out for a certain person, but you guys deserve it:

A MATERIAL

-jM
A&D
 
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