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The Prostitute from Tijuana


TRIBE Member

There was a time, back when I was a gogo dancer in Santa Barbara, where I met up with a few other Tribers and we headed south.

I'm not sure if it was hiway 101 or the I-5, but we passed through San Diego, where there was a CDMA company at the time, but the city was notable for its boringness. I mean, even I could not find something interesting to do there.

You always hear about "San Diego", so you think there's something cool there. Well, the answer is no. Qualcomm, that's the company that's there, they invented chips for CDMA 2000 but, now we're all masturbating to LTE. Is Qualcomm still there? Don't know.

But I will tell you about the prostitutes in Tijuana.

I actually used my car to get to the border between Tijuana and San Diego. There are very interesting signs reminding you, informing you, that you are about to leave the USA.

My friend, his name is LabRat on Tribe, actually said:

LabRat> "I don't think it's a good idea to drive any further."
me> "Well, what, am I just gonna leave my car here?"

So, yes, I just left my car there in some enormous car park, and we walked into Tijuana.

When you walk into another country, and especially Tijuana, things get fuzzy. We went into a bar, or maybe it was a restaurant, but some underage girl woke up on the bench, and some Mexican guy who would probably be a great fan of Fightr, poured Tequila down LabRat's throat, without asking.

So I went to talk to the drunk girl, partly because I wanted sex but mostly because I was interested in the gay bars in Tijuana.

Despite the vomit on her face, she had no advice. This was 2pm.

So we left, and we found a place that sold tacos and beer. Three tacos and one beer, $1. That was a pretty fantastic deal.

We went to a Mexican liquor store. They sold a product that said 1L "no bebito". I'm not sure if it was rubbing alcohol or methanol, but, anyway, I still have vision and that stuff lit on fire like nobody's business.

We ended up at a strip club somewhere. My friend became terribly sick there and started complaining. But I met a Mexican pimp, with a big red nose, who was trying to sell me to some drunk Mexican whore. I was quite pretty, and so was she, but I said:

me> "Just get me some tequila."
pimp> "...."

Eventually my friend's complaining about his sickness made us leave. The pimp was upset. I have the wherewithall to not tell them that I'm gay.

Completely hammered, around 1am we walked back through the Tijuana border to San Diego; of course nobody checks our passport because we're white.

Then I found my car and drunk drove back to Santa Barbara. That's why I don't have a licence anymore.



TRIBE Member
Oh, I totally forgot to mention the part about the prostitutes.

Somehow, we found our way to a strip club. By strip club, I mean Mexican standards, and in fact, probably even lower, Tijuana standards.

Why is a very beautiful gay boy like me sitting in a Tijuana strip club?


There were three whores sat across the table. But before I could get to them,

A rather plump Mexican lady got on stage. She wasn't exactly a stripper, because she was wearing underwear, which was obviously stained with blood. I turned my head to my about-to-be-sick friend and asked:

me> "Is this what you like?"
LabRat> "Are we gonna leave?
sick friend> "This is gross."
Kent Walker> "I fuckin' love this place."
me> "Like she's having her period right now..."

The dancer ended up getting into some kind of argument with her boyfriend, or maybe pimp;

She had a few other friends at a different table. We were the only people in the restaurant. So, the other girls started throwing sugar packets at us.

me> "Craig, why are they throwing sugar at us?"
Craig> "I don't know."

The man with the red nose hooked me up. And I'm the gay boy. Fuck me, if you're a straight fellow in Tijuana you should be pulling more pussy than I did.