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The Mom Thread

leigh

TRIBE Promoter
The food thing worries me so much. My 13 month old is already starting to have little picky periods.. He will suddenly refuse food he ate regularly. And while other babies eat fruit like candy, he's not interested in most of it. It's so stressful!

I have a question about breast feeding. Did any of you BF beyond one year? Does it get more difficult to wean the longer you BF? My little guy has never been one to "ask" for milk - he has always just eaten on schedule. In the last week though he's started to pull at my shirt randomly throughout the day and get frantic about it. I don't know if it's a phase (he was sick a few weeks ago and has since been quite clingy). I worry that if I wait much longer to wean, the older he gets the harder it's going to be for him emotionally because he so clearly knows what he wants now...
 

barkley

TRIBE Member
I have a question about breast feeding. Did any of you BF beyond one year? Does it get more difficult to wean the longer you BF? My little guy has never been one to "ask" for milk - he has always just eaten on schedule. In the last week though he's started to pull at my shirt randomly throughout the day and get frantic about it. I don't know if it's a phase (he was sick a few weeks ago and has since been quite clingy). I worry that if I wait much longer to wean, the older he gets the harder it's going to be for him emotionally because he so clearly knows what he wants now...
I BF'd my singleton to her second birthday (plus a few days) and I just weaned my twins last month, after 22 months of nursing (made me sad, I had hoped to get to 2 with them, too)... Anyway, in all cases I got to the point where there was nothing left and I was having pretty bad nursing aversions, so it was time to stop. With Zoë, the last time we nursed we "talked" about it and I told her it was the last time but we'd still cuddle, etc., and she was fine with it. She asked a couple of random times after that, but it was easy. The boys were a bit different - Emmett couldn't really care less and was happy with snuggles but Charlie was crazy for the boob and it was driving me nuts as I was feeling so dreadful while nursing. Long story short, I decided it was confusing him to night wean but still nurse at bedtime/in the morning so we started cuddling when he'd wake up in the night, etc. It took a week or so but he figured it out and it's all good now.

I guess what you can take from this is that they will all be different, so don't wean because you think it's time or anyone else says you should. Nurse until you are feeling done with it and you two will find your best weaning path.
 

peko

TRIBE Member
Same with Emmet. The picky eating started around 3.5 and started phasing out once he turned 5. I also did the try-one-bite rule and I found when he helped make something he was more likely to eat it.

Now he's older and will eat pretty much anything, including spicy food and fish (which makes me very happy).

So, there is hope! OC is the picky eater now. She was a model eater and now it's "eeeew, yuck!" or " I don't like...." (when she will eat the no likes another day).

I'm copying the "I provide and she decides" mantra. I don't make a second meal but I will give her cereal and/or fruit before bed..... Just happened tonight.

Making one meal takes enough time and energy, there's no way I'm making a second.

My sister offers her boys a peanut butter sandwich (or something really plain/boring), so that the alternative isn't appealing.
 

janiecakes

TRIBE Member
There is totally hope. Last night I made orzo with kale, chickpeas, sweet potatoes and tahini and my formerly picky kid was like "I like the plating" (LOL) and then ate 80% of it.

I have a question about breast feeding. Did any of you BF beyond one year? Does it get more difficult to wean the longer you BF? My little guy has never been one to "ask" for milk - he has always just eaten on schedule. In the last week though he's started to pull at my shirt randomly throughout the day and get frantic about it. I don't know if it's a phase (he was sick a few weeks ago and has since been quite clingy). I worry that if I wait much longer to wean, the older he gets the harder it's going to be for him emotionally because he so clearly knows what he wants now...
I breastfed Emmet until a couple of months past his 2nd birthday. Weaning was extremely easy - no tears, no nothing. We were down to about twice a day by then and I just decided I was done, told him this would be the last time and that was it. He asked once for it and I said we could cuddle instead, which he accepted. He went through a phase around 12 months when he was constantly asking to nurse too - I don't think it's uncommon for that kind of thing to happen here and there.
 

Metal Morphosis

TRIBE Member
BF mine to 19 and 18 most respectively.
there were no real issues over here either. My first probably would have kept going a bit longer but he didn't fight me on it. The second kid loves his cow's milk so much that i knew he wouldn't miss the boob.
 
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the_fornicator

TRIBE Member
Ain't that a bitch.

Last week, Wednesday night, the wife started complaining about some light cramping during the day (11 weeks, 3 days pregnant). I didn't think anything about it since she has a bunch of food intolerances as well as Celiac's.

Later on that night, she started spotting fairly heavy so I rushed her to the emergency. They did a few tests (blood and speculum -sp?) and everything seemed normal. The dr tried an ultrasound using the portable machine, but that didn't work (he said he wasn't very good with it so go home and they'll call us on Thursday for an ultrasound). We go home and the wife's spotting is getting heavier and heavier. Her cramps feel worse than when she gets her period.

Thursday, we get the call at 0900 saying we have an ultrasound at 1000. We get to the hospital and during the ultrasound, I see the technician do his thing and measure out some fibroids. Eventually, he gets to the fetus and I can see that it's no larger than when we had the first ultrasound done @ 6 weeks. Except, this time, there wasn't a heartbeat. No flickering light. No sign of life. I didn't have the heart to tell my wife in case I'm an idiot and got things wrong -I'm not a ultrasounds technician so best to keep my mouth shut and start to prepare my wife for the worst.

Waiting there for the dr to come speak with us, fuck me that was hard. My wife had so much hope, telling me she wasn't giving up on the little buddy, but the meantime I'm trying to tell her that, worst case, this is a very common thing for a first pregnancy. So, if things come to that, we'll push on and try again, but just hope for the best while also preparing for the worst.

When the dr came and told us the results that my wife had a missed miscarriage, man, I have never heard anybody cry like that my entire life. Never. Nobody should ever have to hear that cry.

The baby stopped growing almost immediately after our first ultrasound so she's been carrying the dead fetus for about 5-6 weeks. All her signs showed that she was pregnant, her belly was getting bigger, etc.

Now, I suppose, is the grieving process. She's doing well. Sad as hell, but her spirits are up.
 

lucky1

TRIBE Member
fuck, sorry to read that :( Very difficult path to a baby for some couples. Nothing she could have done to prevent the loss, glad she is ok. Will take some time I'm sure.
 

mcbee

TRIBE Member
When the dr came and told us the results that my wife had a missed miscarriage, man, I have never heard anybody cry like that my entire life. Never. Nobody should ever have to hear that cry.
i'm very very sorry for your loss. As someone who has cried those cries, I know exactly how your wife is feeling. I too had a missed miscarriage at 11 weeks (baby had died at 7 weeks) and as well, our son Ryder was born/died at 21w5d.

It breaks my heart every time I hear of another family going through a loss.

:( sarah
 
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leigh

TRIBE Promoter
I'm so sorry for your loss. If you think you'll try to conceive again, your wife could talk to her doctor about increasing her folic acid intake. It might be worth considering. I hope you're both doing well - I know how sad a time this can be.
 

peko

TRIBE Member
Ain't that a bitch.

Now, I suppose, is the grieving process. She's doing well. Sad as hell, but her spirits are up.
Very sorry for your loss.

Watch out for perinatal Postpardum depression. It can creep up on you iut of the blue. People don't talk about it much, but it's more common then you think. Our hospital had great resources and group support.

Take care of each other.
 
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grumblegirl

TRIBE Member
Hey moms of slightly older kids... Any ideas of how to teach an early riser to sleep in a bit? Felix (now 6.5yrs old) is *finally* making it to 6am every day now, but never later than 6:30, even when he stays up late. His bedtime is 7:45, cuz otherwise, with the 6am wake-up, he's a monster. He wants to have friends sleepover and be able to stay up once in a while, but we suffer for it so much the next day. :(
 

ila

TRIBE Member
Anyone have any tips to get a 7 month old to stay asleep?

My kiddo goes down *okay* - I generally nurse him or rock him to sleep and then put him down really, really sleepy or totally asleep. He wakes frequently at night and during naps, so I have to rock him back down again. He's generally asleep at night for 12 hours, but I have to work to keep him there. His naps are similar - he naps usually for 1-2 hours but he wakes up partway through about 50% of the time.

I get that the problem is that he can't self soothe, but I'm not willing to leave him to cry it out. Anyone do anything short of CIO to get their kid to sleep through the night and nap for long stretches?

I already have blackout blinds, white noise, a lovey, a bedtime routine, etc.

Anyway, shot in the dark, I know. Looks like these parts are pretty....quiet.

TIA!
 
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janiecakes

TRIBE Member
He sounds like Emmet! I bet he's an alert baby - they seem to have more frequent wakings. Have you read the No Cry Sleep Solution? It didn't get us any more sleep but made me feel less shitty about it.
 

awwnaw

TRIBE Member
No cry sleep solution is fabulous. Also helps you understand infant sleep. My only issue with it (like all baby help books) is the first 3 chapters the devote to trying to convince about their philosophy and why it rules...like I bought the fucking thing..I'm in.

Anyway, the whole sleep cycle thing is important to note--because that's when they need to learn to soothe themselves out of and into another. Have you tried a soother? I love the wubanubs because the plush toy makes it easier for them to find later. I would recommend popping a soother in when he wakes and not picking up and see what happens. He'll spit it out, and you gotta pop back in (this is why cosleeping in a sidecar crib is good or crib in your room), until he dozes again. The goal is for him to eventually find his own soother and do it himself

Yes it fucking sucks to have to do it and hover over, but it can work well. My personal experience anyway. This was my method and my girl has been a fantastic sleeper. I also separated the nursing bit from falling asleep (I'd change diaper and swaddle after nursing), so that I was only helping her learn to self soothe without another association that wasn't sustainable.
 

peko

TRIBE Member
Anyone have any tips to get a 7 month old to stay asleep?

My kiddo goes down *okay* - I generally nurse him or rock him to sleep and then put him down really, really sleepy or totally asleep. He wakes frequently at night and during naps, so I have to rock him back down again. He's generally asleep at night for 12 hours, but I have to work to keep him there. His naps are similar - he naps usually for 1-2 hours but he wakes up partway through about 50% of the time.

I get that the problem is that he can't self soothe, but I'm not willing to leave him to cry it out. Anyone do anything short of CIO to get their kid to sleep through the night and nap for long stretches?

I already have blackout blinds, white noise, a lovey, a bedtime routine, etc.

Anyway, shot in the dark, I know. Looks like these parts are pretty....quiet.

TIA!
Congratulations! How is is going?

I read No Cry Sleep Solution too, it was good. Dr. Sears. I also read and followed the "Babywise", "Toddlerwise", "Preschoolerwise" books too - I really liked this series the best because they worked well for me.

I did CIO with one baby (black out blinds, door closed, wubbanuber - in fact had at least 3 wubbanubs in her bed), while the second bambino I did not CIO and left her door open at night. To this day, I still wake up at least once to give the second child a drink or blanket (thumb sucker & blankie baby) - she might be an alert baby because she wakes when you go into her room at night and will say "hey or how's it going" then sit up.

With bambino #2, I just went into her room and soothed her (tucked her in) then extended the time I'd wait before I'd go in to pass her her blankie or drink.

IME, I think it's the "lovey" (blankie, doll, wubbanub, etc) they have with them that they learn to soothe themselves with.
 

geminigirl

TRIBE Member
Anyone have any tips to get a 7 month old to stay asleep?

My kiddo goes down *okay* - I generally nurse him or rock him to sleep and then put him down really, really sleepy or totally asleep. He wakes frequently at night and during naps, so I have to rock him back down again. He's generally asleep at night for 12 hours, but I have to work to keep him there. His naps are similar - he naps usually for 1-2 hours but he wakes up partway through about 50% of the time.

I get that the problem is that he can't self soothe, but I'm not willing to leave him to cry it out. Anyone do anything short of CIO to get their kid to sleep through the night and nap for long stretches?

I already have blackout blinds, white noise, a lovey, a bedtime routine, etc.

Anyway, shot in the dark, I know. Looks like these parts are pretty....quiet.

TIA!
Hey there,

I'm a holistic sleep consultant. I am from the top sleep consulting school in Canada & the US.

Until your baby has falling asleep skills AND falling back to sleep skills, sleep will not improve. When babies do all the sleep work, the sleep is of a higher quality. What needs to happen is for sleep crutches to be broken - rocking, holding, feeding to sleep & back to sleep.

There are several approaches to achieve the same goal. You do not need to choose extinction(Marc Weissbluth) or graduation extinction(Richard Ferber). You can choose a gradual withdrawal method(Kim West). Her method is called Sleep Lady Shuffle. It is a method where you support(mainly shh'ing) your baby while your baby is learning big important sleep skills. You slowing make your way out of the room of a number of nights.

Do not do any sleep work without a clear plan. You want to nail it the first go.

If you need my help, please email me at maxinesass@telus.blackberry.net

Ps. I am rarely ever on here. So, I likely wont get any pm's.

http://www.maxinesmultiplebirthcare.com/apps/blog/show/43176642-the-scoop-on-sleep-training
 
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Metal Morphosis

TRIBE Member
going to miss Kevin on this board and just thought i'd pop in here to say that i miss all of you mamas.
we used to have a good thing going here. it's sad that we've moved on - although i know we have Facebook, it's just not the same.

we've had many ups and downs in here to be sure.

hope you're all well.
 
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