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The Mom Thread

peko

TRIBE Member
Leigh - I got my mattress pad cover at ToysRUs. Sometimes they have them on promo or sale.

Swaddling. I LOVE swaddling babies. I learned how to do a good burrito baby in the hospital. It's hard to find good swaddling blankets though - big enough. My favorite swaddling blanket is a homemade quilt. :eek:

It takes practice to make a tight swaddle. Some new parents pride themselves on their swaddle or burrito abilities where it's a point of pride. Haha!

OC was good swaddled and learned to wriggle out of it. Reilly loves to pull fabric close to her face while she sucks her thumb at night, so the sleep sacks work best for her. At 5 months Reilly was rolling over and sleeping on her side, sucking her thumb like 'what ever, as if I'm gonna sleep on my back."

Sleep sacks are great too! Use them all the time on both girls. I have some with sleeves and others without sleeves (tank top style attached to a sleeping bag on her body). Never had a baby smother herself in the sleep sack.

Last night, I was worried about Reilly being cold (temp drop) because her room isn't as warm as OC's. So, I had Reilly in PJs, sleep sack then swaddled in a thick blanket and roll her up like a good cigar in a quilt so her head and arms couldn't pull the blankets over her head, plus topped her off with a tight hat. She still managed to wriggle and turn so she could snuggle some fabric while sucking her thumb and pulled the hat over her eyes & nose with her pointy finger while sucking her thumb.

A baby will wriggle, move, turn or not depending on their sleep preference. OC was way more compliant swaddled compared to her younger sister.

For the first few months babies just lie on their back and sleep - they LOVE being swaddled up tight because apparently it's like being in the womb (plus, keeps legs and arms from flailing around). Once they start learning to roll then IME they start to sleep in their sides or roll over. Your baby will surprise you - you plan for one way and they choose or prefer another. ;)

A GF of mine LOVES these Grow Bags with feet! Her 2.5yr old loves to sleep in them and my friend wants to find bigger sizes for her. Her toddler is now in a bed but refuses blankets because she LOVES her Grow Bags.
 

mingster

TRIBE Member
Also curious about why you're terrified of swaddling? Is that a SIDS thing?

I swaddled both my babes and both times, when I realised that it worked for getting them to sleep, a weight was lifted, especially in those early days. Like Liability said, it's no wonder that cultures across the world have been swaddling for so long, it works.

I think the difference between sleep sacs (which I've never used BTW) and swaddling, is that you can't get the tightness with the sleep sacs, which is what keeps baby asleep. In those early weeks, it really is the involuntary waving and spasms of their arms and legs that wakes them. And you might find that getting good at swaddling helps you to get more than 45 minutes of sleep. It only lasts about 3 months and then they starts to grow out of it.

You'll figure out what works for you, I know some schools of thought are anti-swaddling. But I suggest being willing to try different things, in order not to torture yourself unnecessarily.
 

awwnaw

TRIBE Member
Yes purely a SIDS worry. Now I'm questioning sleep sacks and thinking, oh shit had I not considered this could go up over her face too? I'm completely open to trying anything and everything--other than stuff I think would cause me too much worry and ultimately not be best for us mainly due to that. Ex. Co sleeping---no chance I would get any sleep with her in the bed.

The only thing that makes sense from a counter standpoint (SIDS besides the point) against swaddling is the idea that babies are meant to startle and we should allow it even if it wakes them up. And as for a longer sleep this is more for the parents than babe, and there's a concern that then we create yet another 'sleep cue' that the baby needs to have or won't fall asleep in later age.

I don't fecking know. Sounds like you guys are definitely not polarized in the subject, so I'll try it out during day time and see what happens and how she likes it. I have the big Aden+anais blankets thinking they'd be big enough. Good enough or should I get bigger and thicker?

Thanks guys!
 

leigh

TRIBE Promoter
awwnaw, there are ready-made swaddle blankets with velcro that seem like they might be a middle ground between a regular swaddle blanket and a sleep sack. my kid isn't here yet, so I don't know how well they actually work, but from the design it looks like they keep the arms nice and snug to the body, but allow for movement of the legs. I don't know if that would give you any more peace of mind.

They're called Summer Infant SwaddleMe wraps. I guess if you've got a strong baby, they might get out of these easier than a regular swaddle blanket :(
 

Liability

TRIBE Member
Yes purely a SIDS worry. Now I'm questioning sleep sacks and thinking, oh shit had I not considered this could go up over her face too? I'm completely open to trying anything and everything--other than stuff I think would cause me too much worry and ultimately not be best for us mainly due to that. Ex. Co sleeping---no chance I would get any sleep with her in the bed.

The only thing that makes sense from a counter standpoint (SIDS besides the point) against swaddling is the idea that babies are meant to startle and we should allow it even if it wakes them up. And as for a longer sleep this is more for the parents than babe, and there's a concern that then we create yet another 'sleep cue' that the baby needs to have or won't fall asleep in later age.

I don't fecking know. Sounds like you guys are definitely not polarized in the subject, so I'll try it out during day time and see what happens and how she likes it. I have the big Aden+anais blankets thinking they'd be big enough. Good enough or should I get bigger and thicker?

Thanks guys!
I can't speak for babies in general, but we swaddled our little one at night until about 6-7 months. She always seemed to love the swaddle. At that point she transitioned to a sleep sack and for the most part has been a 12 hour sleeper from 11 months on, she is now almost 2.5 years and still loves the sleep sack and her sleep.

As an aside: I know SIDS is a very real thing and the media awareness is great for encouraging back sleeping and a lack of blankets, but SIDS is still a relatively rare occurence. I think to some degree media awareness has oversensationalized the occurence of SIDS fatalaties.
 
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peko

TRIBE Member
Yes purely a SIDS worry. Now I'm questioning sleep sacks and thinking, oh shit had I not considered this could go up over her face too? I'm completely open to trying anything and everything--other than stuff I think would cause me too much worry and ultimately not be best for us mainly due to that. Ex. Co sleeping---no chance I would get any sleep with her in the bed.

The only thing that makes sense from a counter standpoint (SIDS besides the point) against swaddling is the idea that babies are meant to startle and we should allow it even if it wakes them up. And as for a longer sleep this is more for the parents than babe, and there's a concern that then we create yet another 'sleep cue' that the baby needs to have or won't fall asleep in later age.

I don't fecking know. Sounds like you guys are definitely not polarized in the subject, so I'll try it out during day time and see what happens and how she likes it. I have the big Aden+anais blankets thinking they'd be big enough. Good enough or should I get bigger and thicker?

Thanks guys!
A+A are perfect swaddling sized blankets!

My hospital used 2 flannel blankets layered together, so I followed that as a general guideline (based on temperature & weather).

Kushie blankets are alright - too square and a bit small for a good swaddle.

My sister & BIL loved swaddling and laugh about how big their blankets got when they swaddled my nephews until they were out of their cribs.

OC was strictly swaddled until 5/6 mths when she'd Houdini out. Reilly strictly swaddled until 3/4 mths then a combo of sack and swaddle. Each baby has different sleep habits/movements.

My sleep sacks can't go ver their heads. The upper body is fitted like pajamas then the body is as wide as their shoulders (they can press their legs against the sides of the sack to like shoulder width apart). Reilly likes to kick her legs in the sack and Oksana learned how to roll over in the sack by grabbing her feet and rocking side to side (a la gymnastics style).

Definitely keep your options open and see what works best for your baby.

Worrying about SIDS sucks. About Kids Health is a great resource:
Sleep Time - AboutKidsHealth
 

awwnaw

TRIBE Member
Ya I guess I'm like, that shit won't happen to us. But conversely, I'm gonna be a new mom and have had zero exposure to babies before this... And have the usual new mom paranoia ya know. Trying to find a balance. But then when I think; holy shit this is my kid's life and I will take zero chances! And then I go stupid again about it. ;)
 

Metal Morphosis

TRIBE Member
At my moms' group yesterday an EMT came in to give everyone a workshop on the basics of assisting choking babies/toddlers and to talk about SIDS.

She says that overheating is likely the biggest contributing factor for babies that die of SIDS. Here is what i gleaned from the workshop:
- keep your baby's room between 16-20 C - yes that cold
- to monitor your baby's level of comfort, checking the back of the neck is the best spot. if it's super warm or sweaty - take off a layer
- don't worry if your baby has cold hands, extremities will always be colder and it's not like they're hands are getting frostbitten! the part that matters is the baby's core temp, which you can monitor at the back of their neck.

she says that babies that overheat fall into a deep sleep and then their organs shut down. so make it cozy, but not sooooo cozy and warm that this happens. if your baby is too cold, they'll let you know by crying.

she didn't give any feedback on swaddling vs sleep sacks - just know that babies can overheat regardless of what you use.
 

awwnaw

TRIBE Member
Thank you SO much. I had just posted about understanding when babies are overheating. We hate it warm in our house and are actually most comfortable at 16 degrees and I worried about keeping it too cold, and then subsequently bundling too much.

In other news now if my kid sleeps too long I'll think they've overheated, are in a deep sleep and organs shutting down. Crazy town over here. I'm the mayor.
 

peko

TRIBE Member
At my moms' group yesterday an EMT came in to give everyone a workshop on the basics of assisting choking babies/toddlers and to talk about SIDS.

She says that overheating is likely the biggest contributing factor for babies that die of SIDS. Here is what i gleaned from the workshop:
- keep your baby's room between 16-20 C - yes that cold
- to monitor your baby's level of comfort, checking the back of the neck is the best spot. if it's super warm or sweaty - take off a layer
- don't worry if your baby has cold hands, extremities will always be colder and it's not like they're hands are getting frostbitten! the part that matters is the baby's core temp, which you can monitor at the back of their neck.

she says that babies that overheat fall into a deep sleep and then their organs shut down. so make it cozy, but not sooooo cozy and warm that this happens. if your baby is too cold, they'll let you know by crying.

she didn't give any feedback on swaddling vs sleep sacks - just know that babies can overheat regardless of what you use.
Thanks for posting this! I'm getting a temp monitor for Reilly's room (16-20, good to know).

What kind of mom group are you in? Formal or informal meetup kind of thing?

Ya I guess I'm like, that shit won't happen to us. But conversely, I'm gonna be a new mom and have had zero exposure to babies before this... And have the usual new mom paranoia ya know. Trying to find a balance. But then when I think; holy shit this is my kid's life and I will take zero chances! And then I go stupid again about it. ;)
:) I totally understand and still have those moments. You're totally a new mama already.
 
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jellibeen

TRIBE Member
What do you guys think about swaddling? I'm terrified so there's no way I'm swaddling, so I purchased sleeping bags. Took great care in getting ones I think her head/arms are gonna stay secure in...enough room for the bod, snug at the holes.
My kids HATED to be swaddled, so I'm not one to give advice :p
 
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Metal Morphosis

TRIBE Member
it might seem pricier than other programs but i think you get a lot of value since your kids/babies are cared for onsite and you get fitness and a discussion out of it. it's run as a not-for-profit organization and we do fundraising events throughout the year since our membership fees don't actually cover all the expenses for caregivers, fitness instructors, space rental etc. So we have to fundraise since our membership fees are subsidized by the organization. AND if you really can't afford it but still want to attend, they offer further subsidies to moms in need.
 

mcbee

TRIBE Member
I think there are a few home birthers here.....

I had a planned csection, so I'm kind of the polar opposite of a home birth lol! but its something I would definitely consider for number 2.

A mom friend of mine just had her second at home....went into labour at midnight, baby was born at 5am, her 2.5 year old sleep through the whole thing. Spent the morning cuddling with her newborn, her husband and her 2.5 in their bed. Lovely!!!

:) sarah
 

mariazmess

TRIBE Member
came here to vent, but I'll answer this first:
Have any of you ladies had experience with a home birth? Any tips or advice for someone considering one? :)
Home births are awesome! I had a home birth and an unexpected hospital birth, and by far the home birth was better. So much less stress. No monitors beeping, no machines telling the doctors/midwives what is happening with your body (when they should really be counting on YOU for that information). You're just in a more familiar environment.

If you're considering one, good for you! Talk about it with your midwife and consider the kind of support you might want at your birth. I had my mom (cooking, hanging out, getting stuff that needed to be got, and she cut the cord) and I had a friend (taking pics, being my tech support since my husband was out of the country). I also had tons of student midwives and midwives, so I had all the support I could need.

My main advice for any birth -- don't be afraid to tell people exactly what's on your mind and to let yourself do whatever you need to/feel you want to. Cry, scream, laugh, whatever.

Good luck!


RANT:
Someone mainline me some coffee and take my kids for a couple days. UG. "mom let me try, i want to try that (points at the keyboard). hold me!! hold me!!" euo7iyp9tu^pt^8^yoi56p6576p7p^07990900==0=9-0-9=tuo8t9i5697i5i7po0hhhgggjfgkrugjjgurthgti5uiugruigyerityryuetyruteruterituiu5ttiiutrittrutrirtuytitytritrtuutoitutitr4urtitrjerrjrekrtjrekjeethrekjthjerhhrjghjrttgkrtjhtjyhtj hkrtykkylk5ltyhkt,hmyl6ylkmhj;lytluju;èylo;lop6ouu0oiknhut859ot0tyiutt0ypo9o-0yiol8y86ujy985696i6o5ii7o070py06o-7oo0uu9io78ii09679-0yuyou-0708pi-078p;9i=vgfhyiot5torpooy0p569u0
<imitates Curious George and runs away after I suggest it's nap time>

baby's been on a breatfeed-all-night rampage and I'm SO done. Was going to a Best Start playgroup this morning. It started at 9am and we managed to get there at 10:15am ish. There was a sign at the door saying that they'd reached capacity and due to health&safety reasons they couldn't accommodate anyone else. I almost cried. No, I actually did cry. I LEFT THE HOUSE FOR THIS YOU BASTARDS.

It's a nice day out and I have zero energy to take the kid outside to play. We had pizza and peanuts and an apple for lunch. There's a park across the freaking street and I'm like, "how bad would it be if he just went there by himself. I'll watch him through the window. Or not." so instead of playing outside, he's watching Curious George.

Got to drink coffee and breastfeed now. The other one is fussing.
 
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peko

TRIBE Member
Hang in Maria! I completely understand. OEYC drop-in classes are pretty good (even if you only catch the last half).

It boggles my mind that organizations schedule mom/baby classes at 9am! A horrible time for transit and getting out of the house because you're smack in the middle of morning rush hour with 9-5ers.

*sigh* I love Curious George. Great chill out show before bed routine or getting meals ready. My toddler tries to trick me to turn the tv on by asking for 'George, George'.

Currently, my toddler is loving:

[YOUTUBE]26Uftr-jWz4[/YOUTUBE]

OC sings along and tries to play it with a cup.
 

jocelyn dee

TRIBE Promoter
RANT:
Someone mainline me some coffee and take my kids for a couple days. UG. "mom let me try, i want to try that (points at the keyboard). hold me!! hold me!!" euo7iyp9tu^pt^8^yoi56p6576p7p^07990900==0=9-0-9=tuo8t9i5697i5i7po0hhhgggjfgkrugjjgurthgti5uiugruigyerityryuetyruteruterituiu5ttiiutrittrutrirtuytitytritrtuutoitutitr4urtitrjerrjrekrtjrekjeethrekjthjerhhrjghjrttgkrtjhtjyhtj hkrtykkylk5ltyhkt,hmyl6ylkmhj;lytluju;èylo;lop6ouu0oiknhut859ot0tyiutt0ypo9o-0yiol8y86ujy985696i6o5ii7o070py06o-7oo0uu9io78ii09679-0yuyou-0708pi-078p;9i=vgfhyiot5torpooy0p569u0
<imitates Curious George and runs away after I suggest it's nap time>

baby's been on a breatfeed-all-night rampage and I'm SO done. Was going to a Best Start playgroup this morning. It started at 9am and we managed to get there at 10:15am ish. There was a sign at the door saying that they'd reached capacity and due to health&safety reasons they couldn't accommodate anyone else. I almost cried. No, I actually did cry. I LEFT THE HOUSE FOR THIS YOU BASTARDS.

It's a nice day out and I have zero energy to take the kid outside to play. We had pizza and peanuts and an apple for lunch. There's a park across the freaking street and I'm like, "how bad would it be if he just went there by himself. I'll watch him through the window. Or not." so instead of playing outside, he's watching Curious George.

Got to drink coffee and breastfeed now. The other one is fussing.
omg - i remember those days. It's hard. It's mentally and physically exhausting. Breastfeeding is sooo hard, afterall, your body has to make all the milk the baby is drinking and you are tied to the baby (no escaping lol)

My husband kept telling me how breastfeeding was easier than bottle feeding cause you just put them on the boob and can let them lie on the pillow and kind of have hands free. I wanted to kick his ass! I thought breastfeedign was way harder than bottle feeding.

My sanity was saved when I started taking them to the gym and leaving them at childminding for 30 min (or an hour if all the stars/planets aligned). Sometimes I didn't really even work out, I just had a shower.
 

rubytuesday

TRIBE Member
Have any of you ladies had experience with a home birth? Any tips or advice for someone considering one? :)
I had a home birth and didn't attend anything but a one-day birth class with my bf and we were fine, but you might be able to attend an information session put on by your midwife centre.
My midwife gave me a sheet with everything they wanted on it (like old towels, hot water, etc.), as well as a sheet with their numbers and when to call and so on, key because once you're in labour you forget what they tell you. I had all of the homebirth stuff in a rubber bin so when my water broke it was all in one place and ready to go. I put a waterproof sheet on our bed the week before my due date. I ended up mostly sitting on our couch leaning on an exercise ball for most of my labour, and I delivered using the midwive's birthing stool which was awesome, definitely ask your midwife if they have a stool they can bring. I had a hospital bag packed just in case and I was pre-registered at a hospital (which was < 10 minutes away).

I read some Ina May and "Active Birth" and "The Birth Partner" to try to get my head around the stages of labour and how I'd try to deal with contractions which I think helped. Once I was in labour I found I was very comfortable at home and really glad to be able to stay there. I made it really clear to the bf what I wanted from him during labour beforehand and that worked fairly well. I wanted him to make all phone calls to midwives and family and to otherwise be quiet (I didn't want cheerleading or questions) and bring me water (definitely get some bendy straws so you can drink water as effortlessly as possible). I had all sorts of delicious food so that I could eat during labour and it turned out I wanted none of it, but I was really hungry afterwards and we had friends come by with takeout the next day which was great. We also had friends drop off takeout for the bf and the midwives and that was a good idea, the bf also made sure the midwives had coffee and whatever else they wanted while they were with us. So he was sort of the gopher, and we had friends ready to come with food so that he was also taken care of.

The best advice asides from what you can read about the logistics (which are straightforward and not a big deal, the midwives will clean up and if you provide everything for them you won't even see any mess) is to decide now how you'll handle visitors in the first days/week, because you're at home it can be hard to enforce "visiting hours" and so on. The day after mine we had a lot of visitors and it wasn't good for me, I should have been trying to nurse a lot and rest and instead I was entertaining (the friends who dropped off takeout were not an issue for me, it was the family and family friends who were too much for me). L was slightly jaundiced on day 2 and I'm sure it was because I was letting everyone hold him instead of trying to figure out nursing in peace, and I also nursed less because we had so many people around and I wasn't comfortable with the bf's family friends (I also didn't have a proper nursing shirt so I would have at least one ready next time).

I'm really glad I was able to stay at home and I'd do it again. Oh my other favorite thing to have in the early newborn days is a water bottle that won't spill all over you. Fenigo.com carries good ones by contigo that autoseal so there's no cap to lose or forget to close and you can drink out of them mostly lying down.
 
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