The Mom Thread

[Liability]

What are everyone's thoughts on introducing the bottle and when? My hope is to breast feed as long as possible and I only just learned that babies can do both simultaneously. I like the idea as then my husband can actively participate.

It's not that simple is it?

My wife had to supplement from birth due to some issues. Therefore we introduced the bottle from day one.

Our nurse on duty showed us a technique that involved getting the baby to latch onto the bottle nipple as high as possible thereby mimicking latching onto a breast. If you think about a baby openning it's mouth as wide as possible and then inserting the nipple at the thicker part, you will get the picture.

Not sure if that did the trick, but our baby switched between breast and bottle with no troubles.

 

[Metal Morphosis]

our baby switched between breast and bottle with no troubles.

both of ours were the same.
thomas did go on a bit of a nursing strike at 4 mos whereby he only wanted the bottle during the day but would nurse when sleepy / bedtime. so i pumped to keep up the supply and gradually he went back to switching between the two with no problem. i breastfed both of mine until they were 1 1/2.

 

[rubytuesday]

I think waiting a little while can be beneficial re: bottle, like first 6-8 weeks if you can, simply because those are the weeks you're building your supply. If you are going to be home in the first year and nurse most of the time I think it's not a problem for most babies to have a bottle. L had a bottle after 12ish weeks, didn't take it very well and generally waited for me to arrive so he could nurse (I was in school fulltime), until I went away for an overnight trip when he was about 8 months old. I came back and he had learned to like formula and the fast flow nipples we were using. He would only nurse to sleep and at night, then only at night, then my supply tanked and I couldn't handle pumping 2 hours a day to try to save it so after seeing a lactation consultant I decided to switch to formula exclusively around 10 months. When I read about how to avoid the problem it was to use slower flow nipples, don't let baby control/hold the bottle on their own, and overall just try to mimic the BF'ing experience (so pull the bottle out of their mouth to break up the pace, etc.).

I met another mama who had the same experience, she went away overnight and her son started to refuse the breast at the same age.

I think supplementing/bottle feeding can be a great tool, but for some babies/situations it does encourage them to prefer the bottle and if longterm BF'ing is your goal it can disrupt it. That said L is fine and it all worked out, but I was pretty upset about it at the time.

 

[jocelyn dee]

My midwives had an amazing relationship with the hospital as well, and I think it makes a huge difference.

As for your stubborn baby, turn baby turn!!!

sarah

My midwives also seemed to have a great relationship with the hospital staff and attending OBs.

For both my births I had epidurals which meant tranfer of care to the attending OBs, however the midwives were still allowed to stay for the births and do a "courtesy catch". (unfortunately due to complications that didn't happen either time, but it was not due to the midwives or OBs, just due to my/the baby's health).

Once the babies were born and examined and given the go aheads from the attending OBs and pediatricians my care was transferred back to the midwives pretty seamlessly.

 

[Jennika]

speaking of the hormone surge, I've had a epidural hospital birth and an unmediated home birth. so I've experienced both worlds.

I can say that I definitely felt the surge with my home birth, compared to my emotional shut down and lack of bonding after my hospital birth. however, the PPD and PPA I had with my son unfortunately resurfaced with my daughter after a few weeks despite my home birth, so I don't think those hormones protected me from that unfortunately despite my hopes. it just delayed it kicking in

thankfully I'm passed all that now and NEVER having another (though I love my two little doodle bops with a passion I never would have understood before having kids).

 

[jocelyn dee]

speaking of the hormone surge, I've had a epidural hospital birth and an unmediated home birth. so I've experienced both worlds.

I can say that I definitely felt the surge with my home birth, compared to my emotional shut down and lack of bonding after my hospital birth. however, the PPD and PPA I had with my son unfortunately resurfaced with my daughter after a few weeks despite my home birth, so I don't think those hormones protected me from that unfortunately despite my hopes. it just delayed it kicking in

thankfully I'm passed all that now and NEVER having another (though I love my two little doodle bops with a passion I never would have understood before having kids).

I had 2 hospital births (with midwife) but ppd following both of them. (worse the 2nd time). But had my dr. and therapist advise that if I had another it wasn't a guarantee that I would get it again.

 

[peko]

I had 2 hospital births (with midwife) but ppd following both of them. (worse the 2nd time). But had my dr. and therapist advise that if I had another it wasn't a guarantee that I would get it again.

Three hospitals births - the first was the worst, ever > the second was good and the third was easy peasy (epideral for all of them). My PPD & PPA was the worst ever for the first, better in the second and non-existant for the third (so far). PPD & PPA don't necessarily appear right after giving birth.

It's true, you never know what kind of mixed mystery bag you're going to get. If I had a ton of money, I'd give it to the hospital I delivered in - love it!

 

[mcbee]

Three hospitals births - the first was the worst, ever > the second was good and the third was easy peasy (epideral for all of them). My PPD & PPA was the worst ever for the first, better in the second and non-existant for the third (so far). PPD & PPA don't necessarily appear right after giving birth.

It's true, you never know what kind of mixed mystery bag you're going to get. If I had a ton of money, I'd give it to the hospital I delivered in - love it!

agreed....my PPD/PPA was probably there from the beginning, but became unmanageable around 6/7 months post partum.

And after Ryder was born at Mt Sinai, I did give them a bunch of money! I was just so grateful for such great care.

sarah

 

[awwnaw]

Those who experienced PPD how did you cope/deal? Mcbee if it was unmanageable what options do women have? Can it be clinically treated should it become unbearable? I sound enormously ignorant I realize. I'm only now at the stage where I'm going to do some research and get more informed.

 

[mcbee]

Mine was treated with therapy, a support group with other moms who had PPD/PPA, antidepressants and at the beginning, anti anxiety meds.

Some of my coping mechanisms included exercise, yoga, journalling and keeping myself/Brooklyn busy.

The biggest thing I'd say is if you don't feel like yourself, talk it about with your doctor/midwife/husband/someone. There are lots of supports out there and you can/will get through it!

sarah

 

[peko]

Those who experienced PPD how did you cope/deal? Mcbee if it was unmanageable what options do women have? Can it be clinically treated should it become unbearable? I sound enormously ignorant I realize. I'm only now at the stage where I'm going to do some research and get more informed.

I was in the hospital because of it. I had to take time off of work and did therapy, PPD/PPA support group, antidepressants and at the beginning anti-anxiety drugs.

Coping mechanisms: excerising, walking, music, keeping myself busy/ OC busy, hanging out with my mama friends, having me time with my kids, NAPPING and a regular sleep routine, reading about non- baby stuff, watching comedy and action movies.

Advice: Give yourself time to heal (mentally & physically) and time to adjust to your life.

Talk to your doctor and/or midwife about it and make your husband and family aware about the signs & symptoms of it. Not a lot of people recognize it when it surfaces. It takes time and work to allow yourself time to heal but you'll get through it (if you suffer from PPD and/or PPA).

Also, don't over research it before birth, but this book is the BEST resource out there, IMO:
When Baby Brings the Blues: Solutions for Postpartum Depression eBook by Dalfen Kobo Edition | chapters.indigo.ca

 

[girlnextdoor]

baby is FINALLY head down! hallelujah!

 

[peko]

baby is FINALLY head down! hallelujah!

good job baby! i remember waiting for a baby to turn around and be in proper birthing position.

i hope you have a good delivery.

 

[mingster]

baby is FINALLY head down! hallelujah!

awesome! so are you going for the VBAC at home?

 

[mingster]

greetings from what is hopefully the height of my struggle! simon in 2.5 weeks old now, and my life is complete chaos when you throw in the toddler for good measure. simon sleeps pretty much all day, which is a good thing I guess, cause I can dedicate more time to david, but simon was up for 3 hours last night. every time I tried to put him back into his bassinet, he would wake up crying. finally, I called on dave for some help, and then I cried.

it's hard to remember that we're only 2.5 weeks in, and that things get better. it's also hard to remember that nighttime sleeping and comfortable boobs can't be rushed. most things in life can be controlled. these things, no.

my sweet david, has become very fighty lately. he says no a lot more, he needs to be wrestled into his clothes in the morning, so we're hoping this will pass quickly, and that my cooperative, reasonable kid will come back soon. luckily, he loves simon. he kisses him gently and likes to talk about him and look at him. david is going back to daycare on Wednesday, for 3 days a week. looking forward to that, for him as much as myself. he needs the stimulation and the other kids and the learning environment, and I need more sleep.

I am successfully breastfeeding for the first time. although, at only 2.5 weeks in, my boobs are still going through hell. blisters, painful letdowns, the usual.

so yeah, life is total chaos right now. not sure why I didn't expect this. having one kid only was WAY easier!! but I have better days (or better moments in the days) and I know I just need to hang in there a little longer and things will smooth out.

 

[girlnextdoor]

awesome! so are you going for the VBAC at home?

That's the plan for now. Hoping things go smoother this time around but I'm prepared to end up in the hospital if not.

Hope you get some more sleep soon. The first few weeks are definitely the hardest especially when you have another little person demanding your attention. Take advantage of offers from friends and family to take David off your hands for a few hours in the daytime so you can rest.

 

[Chris]

I almost died laughing yesterday, Parker loves to dance, or at least groove and bop his head to certain tracks. Last night was to The Ting Tings - That's Not My Name. LOL

 

[Metal Morphosis]

baby is FINALLY head down! hallelujah!

Hooray!
Who has been looking after your care? Deborah? Melinda? Alex?
i miss them all!

 

[rubytuesday]

greetings from what is hopefully the height of my struggle! simon in 2.5 weeks old now, and my life is complete chaos when you throw in the toddler for good measure. simon sleeps pretty much all day, which is a good thing I guess, cause I can dedicate more time to david, but simon was up for 3 hours last night. every time I tried to put him back into his bassinet, he would wake up crying. finally, I called on dave for some help, and then I cried.

it's hard to remember that we're only 2.5 weeks in, and that things get better. it's also hard to remember that nighttime sleeping and comfortable boobs can't be rushed. most things in life can be controlled. these things, no.

my sweet david, has become very fighty lately. he says no a lot more, he needs to be wrestled into his clothes in the morning, so we're hoping this will pass quickly, and that my cooperative, reasonable kid will come back soon. luckily, he loves simon. he kisses him gently and likes to talk about him and look at him. david is going back to daycare on Wednesday, for 3 days a week. looking forward to that, for him as much as myself. he needs the stimulation and the other kids and the learning environment, and I need more sleep.

I am successfully breastfeeding for the first time. although, at only 2.5 weeks in, my boobs are still going through hell. blisters, painful letdowns, the usual.

so yeah, life is total chaos right now. not sure why I didn't expect this. having one kid only was WAY easier!! but I have better days (or better moments in the days) and I know I just need to hang in there a little longer and things will smooth out.

I hope having some time to be alone with the baby (during the day) helps you feel better.

Remember that pretty much any time you're feeling like you're waking up or nursing too much probably lines up with a growth spurt age (7-10 days, 2-3 weeks, 4-6 weeks, 3 months, 4 months, 6 months and 9 months). I hope you get some sleep though.

Side-lying to nurse saved my boobs, it was the only way L would latch properly at first.

L is fighty about his clothes, it comes and goes. Right now I'm having success with asking him if he's ready to put his shirt on, usually he nods and lets me, but he definitely doesn't like me just doing things to him anymore (not surprising I guess). If it's really hot he wants to be naked and I can't blame him. Lately he can also do choices, like I'll hold up two diapers and ask him which one he wants (he doesn't like pull-ups for some reason), I'll do the same with clothes if necessary.

It sounds like David is handling being a big brother pretty well so far which is awesome.

 

[Chris]

Man, I wish my wife didnt have to go back to work. I can already see she doesnt want to. Sadly, cant afford it this round, perhaps for when we try again, this might be possible. I can only imagine how hard it will be for her to drop off Parker at day care. I feel for her, I do.

Any tips, advice, stories would be great.

This thread is all kinds of awesome!

 

[sk8]

The first week or two sucks ass, and then it gets easier. You get into a routine, kid gets more familiar with the daycare people and you go on. Both of my girls adjusted quickly - they became social little things and loved the attention, activities and other kids at their centres. I think starting early helped because it was then always a routine for them as long as they can remember - Mummy and Daddy go to work, they go to "school".

We've had good experiences at the daycares we've been at. They've learned a lot, made great friends and the teachers we've had really make an effort for the kids and have all kinds of programming and fun with them.

Be EXTRA nice to her the first few days, because it is hard.

Advice:
Don't stick around after drop-off. Drop and go. Even if there is screaming. You may cry, because leaving your kid crying behind you is ridiculously hard. But staying makes it harder on everyone. Most kids stop crying within 5 minutes of drop-off.
Take a toy or blanket or whatever he needs for naptime
Make the first few days a bit shorter if you can
Remember that it will get easier, I promise

 

[girlnextdoor]

Hooray!
Who has been looking after your care? Deborah? Melinda? Alex?
i miss them all!

i'm at a different midwifery clinic (even though i love EYDM) - it was way easier to go with the midwives at my own clinic

 

[peko]

Advice:
Don't stick around after drop-off. Drop and go. Even if there is screaming. You may cry, because leaving your kid crying behind you is ridiculously hard. But staying makes it harder on everyone. Most kids stop crying within 5 minutes of drop-off.
Take a toy or blanket or whatever he needs for naptime
Make the first few days a bit shorter if you can
Remember that it will get easier, I promise

Yeppers. I could hear my child screaming the first couple of times I dropped her off. It broke my heart. I knew she was in a good place but she just didn't know it yet.

My mom told me it's easier to drop your child off and drive away car with the windows rolled up compared to walking away, ha!

Be consistent. If the daycare does something a certain way, try to do what they do because you don't want to undo what they're teaching. Your child might be testing out the daycare to see what kinds of behavior they can get away with, so you kind of want to be consistent with how they manage certain behaviors or attitudes.

I feel like our whole house is in daycare boot camp but it's getting easier.

 

[mingster]

Man, I wish my wife didnt have to go back to work. I can already see she doesnt want to. Sadly, cant afford it this round, perhaps for when we try again, this might be possible. I can only imagine how hard it will be for her to drop off Parker at day care. I feel for her, I do.

Any tips, advice, stories would be great.

This thread is all kinds of awesome!

I can't say that I felt the same way as your wife. I looked forward to going back to work after David, and he took to daycare really well. So while our adjustment had some challenges, it was pretty smooth for us.

However, I can offer this: if you're able to do the drop-off and let your wife do the pick up, she will probably love this, and it will come to be her favorite part of the day. Also, if Parker looks like he enjoys going to daycare, you can rest assured knowing that you are doing something really good for him. Daycare can be a great way for kids to spend the day.

 

[mingster]

3 cheers for public health nurses! I have been to a breastfeeding clinic twice now with Simon (for minor adjustments and a little encouragement), and once with David, and I always come away feeling so grateful to have access to this resource. so awesome to be able to go to a location, and get some support.

I'm always amazed at the work they do, and just how they are, the kind of person who has the skills and knowledge to help you be successful at something that can be so stressful.