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The Mom Thread
- Thread starter LeoGirl
- Start date
i'm dressing my kid up as prince and we're going as the revolution.
re: push presents
i think the name push present is icky. it just depends on how "presents!" you are in your relationship. give one if that's your thing, don't give one if it's not. i never felt like being pregnant was a giant burden or a cross to bear so i didn't feel like i needed a "reward" or appreciation other than the fact that me and my partner were beyond excited super-psyched about becoming parents and being a family.
i think people going over-the-top with stuff is just weird. i saw something the other day about how this woman and her husband sent her family and friends on this giant mall scavenger hunt with the big reveal at the end being the baby's sex and i was like, y'all have way too much time on your hands!
re: push presents
i think the name push present is icky. it just depends on how "presents!" you are in your relationship. give one if that's your thing, don't give one if it's not. i never felt like being pregnant was a giant burden or a cross to bear so i didn't feel like i needed a "reward" or appreciation other than the fact that me and my partner were beyond excited super-psyched about becoming parents and being a family.
i think people going over-the-top with stuff is just weird. i saw something the other day about how this woman and her husband sent her family and friends on this giant mall scavenger hunt with the big reveal at the end being the baby's sex and i was like, y'all have way too much time on your hands!
Metal Morphosis
TRIBE Member
i agree - there are some bat-shit crazy people out there, one being my cousin's wife who pre-selected her 'push presents' in advance (a laptop and an espresso maker!!! like really???).
that said, i do think the gender reveal cake is a fun idea but the party to go along with it is a bit much. That said, I can sometimes see why something like this could seem warranted (maybe too strong of a word). Like for my friends who after almost 4 years of trying and adoption proceedings about to start found themselves pregnant (18 weeks & counting). We are all so overjoyed for them and are waiting with bated breath for their gender u/s. I just feel so excited for them that I wouldn't give a second thought if they wanted to have a gender reveal party and 3 baby showers to go along with it.
Metal Morphosis
TRIBE Member
oh and Halloween
Elliot - firefighter
Thomas - shark
Elliot - firefighter
Thomas - shark
So cute! Landshark!
Hi i'm God
TRIBE Member
But I DIDN'T "plan" anything, that's what I have been trying to say all along. I didn't plan to get pregnant, I didn't plan to have a specific pregnancy... There is no right or wrong way to do things. It's what's suitable and important for me and my family and that's to always question, to own yourself and your freedom, to never comform and to take risks.
I take it ONE DAY at the time and that is the reason why I haven't been disappointed in any situations. I have an idea as to how things should be, but I allow my instinct to guide me through and follow my heart, because to me, nothing is more amazing than to find out you are pregnant, and then to allow yourself to be part of this transformation that happens daily into a strong, fierce, confident woman and mother. Which is what I have done from the beginning.
I don't have any expectations of this, I learn as I go and deal with things as they come up. I had my own challenges with this, it's not like it's been a walk in the park. I had my own emotional turmoils and fears, etc... You think I sleep these days? Or that I am not in pain when I walk?... Or that I don't cry pretty much every other day thinking how much I wish my mom was here with me and how I wish I could hear her voice? Or any family member for that matter.
But in the grand scheme of things, these are part of the journey, these are challenges to conquer, not to complain about. I have them for a reason, because when I worked through them, they make me stronger and they define who I am and that's all there is to it.
So as far as "never go exactly as planned", I would like to disagree with that, because I never planned anything and things have turned out exactly how they should.
I am excited to experience the next chapter of this, which is L&D and I will alow things to unfold as they are meant to unfold, I am just letting go and allowing the process to happen. In the meantime, I am almost 38 weeks pregnant and today is the only day that I can focus on.
r6bikerchick
TRIBE Member
I think anytime someone is trying to get pregnant and not succeeding, all you see/hear about is pregnant people/new babies. I got to a really low spot thinking I'd never be a mom and, like mcbee (although my story is not the same), found myself having to avoid baby showers and baby announcements. I suppose it's a bit different the second time around - maybe harder because as far as I can tell you didn't really have to "try" the first time? (None of my business!). Maybe also harder because people expect you to suck it up because "you already have one" - it's as if dealing with lower than desired fertility isn't "allowed" (by society) to be as painful if it's the second (or third or fourth) time around.
I'm so confused by this - I read it as "my girlfriend (mistress?) is having her second, but it's not my baby, it's her husband's (boyfriend's)?" Or is GF "good friend."? Or platonic female friend?
In other news, Ethan is going to be a cow for Hallowe'en and I'm trying to come up with a cowgirl or shepherdess kinda look (à la Bo Peep, except not sheep) to go with it. Gosh, I hope he's walking by Hallowe'en so we can toddle over to the neighbours. At 15 months, he's cruising along furniture, but not taking any independent steps. And he doesn't like to walk holding onto our hands, or supported under the arms or along the torso. Generally, I think mobility is overrated (he's a speed demon crawler), but it would be nice for Hallowe'en.
MM - Are you in any rush to turn Thomas around in the carseat? We still haven't turned it because E's not walking independently (and I've heard that's one of the new requirements - at least one year in age, at least 22 pounds, and able to walk independently) but we're not planning to turn it until we absolutely have to (he reaches the height limit for rear-facing). As of right now, I don't care if he stays rear-facing til he's 2 (or more). Just curious, because some parents seem to be in a big hurry to turn the seat around...
I'm in no hurry to turn Brookyn around. From what I've read, the longer the rear facing, the safer. Brooklyn is 17 months, 26 pounds, has been walking for 4 months and she's still rear facing.
For Halloween, she's going go be a unicorn, thanks for the awesome kids costume selection at Winners!
And yes, I avoided baby showers, baby announcements, holding babies, talking about babies.....I even avoided holding my own niece/nephews. I did what I had to do to cope. It is daaaaaamn hard trying to conceive and no one talks about how hard it is.
sarah
For Halloween, she's going go be a unicorn, thanks for the awesome kids costume selection at Winners!
And yes, I avoided baby showers, baby announcements, holding babies, talking about babies.....I even avoided holding my own niece/nephews. I did what I had to do to cope. It is daaaaaamn hard trying to conceive and no one talks about how hard it is.
sarahInteresting that you mentioned this!
Dr. Karyn Gordon mentioned this book on her Cityline segment: How to Communicate Your Love To Your Partner. She warned the audience that the book is written in a Christian spirituality advice context (warning: may annoy some readers), but that the five key principles apply or are followed by lots of her clients from other cultural or religious backgrounds.
CityLine - Watch TV online free - Full episodes & shows on the Citytv Video Portal
The title "push present" is insulting to me, but if the gift comes from the heart - that's what counts most.
We never buy "gifts" for each other on a regular basis, but Mod_One got me an 8gig iTouch for my birthday after losing Kenule because he felt I deserved it for going through everything we experienced a couple of weeks before my birthday.
And, I got him some sunglasses and a PS3 game on his birthday (a couple of weeks after Oksana's birth) because I felt like he deserved it for being so awesome.
Carseats:
Check your car seat manual for instructions on when to turn the seat around. We asked our pediatrician and he said a) I'm not a car seat expert, and b) it depends on the car seat you have.
I have friends and family who turned the seat around once the kid was 'close enough' to 20 pounds. Other friends waited until the kid's feet touched the seat they face...... We still have OC rear facing and like you, I'm in no rush to switch. If anything, I think OC needs a bigger car seat! I can't fit the seatbelt harness on her with her puffy winter parka on her.
And yes, I avoided baby showers, baby announcements, holding babies, talking about babies.....I even avoided holding my own niece/nephews. I did what I had to do to cope. It is daaaaaamn hard trying to conceive and no one talks about how hard it is.
Totally!
My family didn't invite me to my cousin's baby shower because they thought it'd crush me. I was ticked off when I found out that they decided to not tell me, but relieved in a way.
Once we stopped 'trying', and just had fun again the pressure lifted and it happened. It works for us when we don't plan it. Stress does weird things to your body and talk about performance anxiety (pun intended).
rubytuesday
TRIBE Member
L (16 months) is still rear-facing, well, rear-facing in our car, forward facing in the grandparent's van because the seat is also used by his older cousin and we would rather know it's installed correctly one way instead of being switched back and forth. I think he gets a kick out of facing forward in the minivan but it's also because he's a lot higher up in it than in our car so he can see more. We haven't had a problem switching him between the two. We're aiming to keep him rear facing until 2, we might have to bring out the big guns (an in car dvd player) at some point to keep him happy back there because he is in the car about an hour or so every day.
We have the radian RXT which can rear face for quite a while, the grandparents have the truefit convertible which also rear faces for nearly as long, and is less expensive, I like them both but the height adjustment on the truefit is so easy to use between multiple children so has been really good for the grandparents. If you have a tall baby take care to pick a convertible carseat that has a high height limit for rear-facing, the weight limits are misleading as the baby will outgrow the height before the weight (just like the infant bucket seats really), the 2 I've mentioned are both some of the higher ones available, I did way too much research on flipping carseats.
We have the radian RXT which can rear face for quite a while, the grandparents have the truefit convertible which also rear faces for nearly as long, and is less expensive, I like them both but the height adjustment on the truefit is so easy to use between multiple children so has been really good for the grandparents. If you have a tall baby take care to pick a convertible carseat that has a high height limit for rear-facing, the weight limits are misleading as the baby will outgrow the height before the weight (just like the infant bucket seats really), the 2 I've mentioned are both some of the higher ones available, I did way too much research on flipping carseats.
I appreciate all of the research you do and share in the mom thread! You save me a lot of time.
My SIL has the same car seat.
We just got the Peg Pereggo SVP (infant bucket seat, I think) and I feel like we need to buy a bigger seat like the Radian. But, I've fallen in love with the Clek Foonf Paul Frank seats.
Just not sure I could justify spending $500, when the Radian is $350, although the monkey designs on the Clek is pretty darn cute!
Cheer Bear
TRIBE Member
jocelyn dee
TRIBE Promoter
We have the Britax Boulevard 65 for our older guy. He seems to like it andfalls asleep in most car rides over 15 min so it must be comfortable.
We plan to buy another one for our younger guy.
We plan to buy another one for our younger guy.
geminigirl
TRIBE Member
I say that ALL the time...."HOLY SHIT, I HAD NOOO IDEA!"
Before baby I often thought to myself - 'I have worked with hundreds of twins and triplets, how hard can ONE baby be?'..........LOL!!!!!!!!!
Being a mom is SO wonderful and SO humbling!
There is just so much to learn about ourselves from these little people.
Teething has definitely been more than I expected - good word!:O
geminigirl
TRIBE Member
Presley is a little lady bug for Halloween.
We will show her off to all our close neighbors and score all the candy & chocolate for ourselves.
We will show her off to all our close neighbors and score all the candy & chocolate for ourselves.
geminigirl
TRIBE Member
Igstar...I total get where you were at.
I was once there. I was getting so depressed. All my friends had one or more kids. It really bummed me out.
I was totally prepared to do artificial insemination if I didn't have a partner by a certain age.
Thankfully at 38.5 years old, I was blessed with my little girl.
I really hope it happens for you too..
I was once there. I was getting so depressed. All my friends had one or more kids. It really bummed me out.
I was totally prepared to do artificial insemination if I didn't have a partner by a certain age.
Thankfully at 38.5 years old, I was blessed with my little girl.
I really hope it happens for you too..
geminigirl
TRIBE Member
After reading all my different mommy msg boards - I too plan to keep p rear facing for as long as possible.
Booty Bits
TRIBE Member
when my brother and SIL turned their daughter's car seat around, all of a sudden they realized that their front seat snacking had to come to an end. now my niece could see what they were up to and wanted some of whatever they were eating! haha
rubytuesday
TRIBE Member
I appreciate all of the research you do and share in the mom thread! You save me a lot of time.
My SIL has the same car seat.
We just got the Peg Pereggo SVP (infant bucket seat, I think) and I feel like we need to buy a bigger seat like the Radian. But, I've fallen in love with the Clek Foonf Paul Frank seats.
I was going to mention the Foonf, it looks like a great seat, but yeah the price tag is insane. We got the Radian on sale from sears online, otherwise we'd have gotten the truefit for both cars.
I say that ALL the time...."HOLY SHIT, I HAD NOOO IDEA!"
Before baby I often thought to myself - 'I have worked with hundreds of twins and triplets, how hard can ONE baby be?'..........LOL!!!!!!!!!
Being a mom is SO wonderful and SO humbling!
There is just so much to learn about ourselves from these little people.
Teething has definitely been more than I expected - good word!:O
Yup. And every time I get judgey something comes up that shows me there's no one right way to do things and that so much depends on each baby's temperament and each family's circumstances. And every time I'm sick and dealing with a sick baby I wish I could afford to send my mom to Hawaii for all of the shit she must have dealt with raising me and my siblings, good lord.
Haha, we already steal L's crackers in the car. Now at home we have to watch that L doesn't grab our non-baby friendly beverages and he gets upset if he's given the 'baby' version of things now, he wants to be just like us. He got a swig of my coffee the other day (he was not a fan).
And IgStar I hope things work out for you too.
Oh and just a data point in my crap sleeper, remember he was drinking tons of formula through the night and I didn't know what to do? Now he is having just 1 small bottle at night, with no pushing from us, and I think a lot of that bad sleeping and over-eating was his molars coming in combined with a developmental spurt that happens around 15 months. Suddenly he's sleeping way better (waking up once a night for a small bottle), and is easy to put down again. If I can schedule things so he's not drinking any milk between 11 and 6 I'll be very happy, I'm going to try increasing how much he drinks before bed and reduce the amount he's getting in the night bottle while he's still in this good phase.
Haha, living it already in the house. OC wants whatever we have. Aside from her elmo honey stick biscuits (graham crackers) and fruit roll up treats, she wants to eat everything we eat. I never thought of the car ride snack thing.
RubyTuesday, thanks for the sears online sale idea! I'll keep my eyes out for that!
On the topic of 2nd babies and all that.
We were set to try for our second in November, but when we sat down to talk about if this was really the right time (Quintin is 9 months) we decided to only stick with one kid. My husband has an appt with the Dr to discuss getting a vasectomy next month.
I cried for DAYS about it, but I got over it. We weighed the pros and cons. It was mostly my health, and risks of carrying another child. Also, the PPD. I really had a lot of fears, and couldn't see myself "doing it again".
The biggest issue to me is that as much as I love my husband, he didn't help me in the early days and I can't raise 2 kids by myself-- especially if I have PPD again. So that's that.
My kid is an only child. I'm accepting it, but I feel bad for him.
We were set to try for our second in November, but when we sat down to talk about if this was really the right time (Quintin is 9 months) we decided to only stick with one kid. My husband has an appt with the Dr to discuss getting a vasectomy next month.
I cried for DAYS about it, but I got over it. We weighed the pros and cons. It was mostly my health, and risks of carrying another child. Also, the PPD. I really had a lot of fears, and couldn't see myself "doing it again".
The biggest issue to me is that as much as I love my husband, he didn't help me in the early days and I can't raise 2 kids by myself-- especially if I have PPD again. So that's that.
My kid is an only child. I'm accepting it, but I feel bad for him.