that said, i will be interested to hear how you feel AFTER you've been through L&D. i'm sure you'll do great b/c you have a very positive attitude towards pregnancy, birth and parenting, but if one thing is for sure, it's that pregnancy, birth and parenting never go exactly as planned.
But I DIDN'T "plan" anything, that's what I have been trying to say all along. I didn't plan to get pregnant, I didn't plan to have a specific pregnancy... There is no right or wrong way to do things. It's what's suitable and important for me and my family and that's to always question, to own yourself and your freedom, to never comform and to take risks.
I take it ONE DAY at the time and that is the reason why I haven't been disappointed in any situations. I have an idea as to how things should be, but I allow my instinct to guide me through and follow my heart, because to me, nothing is more amazing than to find out you are pregnant, and then to allow yourself to be part of this transformation that happens daily into a strong, fierce, confident woman and mother. Which is what I have done from the beginning.
I don't have any expectations of this, I learn as I go and deal with things as they come up. I had my own challenges with this, it's not like it's been a walk in the park. I had my own emotional turmoils and fears, etc... You think I sleep these days? Or that I am not in pain when I walk?... Or that I don't cry pretty much every other day thinking how much I wish my mom was here with me and how I wish I could hear her voice? Or any family member for that matter.
But in the grand scheme of things, these are part of the journey, these are challenges to conquer, not to complain about. I have them for a reason, because when I worked through them, they make me stronger and they define who I am and that's all there is to it.
So as far as "never go exactly as planned", I would like to disagree with that, because I never planned anything and things have turned out exactly how they should.
I am excited to experience the next chapter of this, which is L&D and I will alow things to unfold as they are meant to unfold, I am just letting go and allowing the process to happen. In the meantime, I am almost 38 weeks pregnant and today is the only day that I can focus on.