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The Mom Thread

rubytuesday

TRIBE Member
Presley will be 6 months on August 17.

I am loooving this age. She is so much fun! We have a very predictable schedule with great naps. We go swimming lots. I'm just enjoying it all.

On a sad note: she stopped nursing almost 2 weeks ago. *sob sob*. I really wanted to go longer, but she started to either cry or blow bubbles on my boobs.:( We had a good go and I will cherish it forever. I'm down to one pump in the morning. I plan to pump right to the 6 month mark and *probably* stop then. I have cried thinking about no more pumping. This stuff has sooo much emotion attached to it.
Aww it is sad to wean, I cried a lot when L stopped nursing, the hormonal shift is rough. They say to eat lots of dark chocolate to offset the hormone shift if you need an excuse. I found no one around me really understood (except moms who had also weaned and been sad about it) so go easy on yourself. The freedom to not be tied to a pump is wonderful though.

And you are on the verge of the start of lots of fun stuff, it gets better and better. :)

Oh and Presley is such a doll, she looks like such a sweet girl.
 

geminigirl

TRIBE Member
Aww it is sad to wean, I cried a lot when L stopped nursing, the hormonal shift is rough. They say to eat lots of dark chocolate to offset the hormone shift if you need an excuse. I found no one around me really understood (except moms who had also weaned and been sad about it) so go easy on yourself. The freedom to not be tied to a pump is wonderful though.

And you are on the verge of the start of lots of fun stuff, it gets better and better. :)

Oh and Presley is such a doll, she looks like such a sweet girl.
Thanks for your words of widsom. :)I feel once I get over it, I will indeed enjoy the extra time from not needing to pump. It's just sad to think about right now. I hoped to nurse and pump for longer. But I am *sorta* ready to be done the pumping.

My sis in law said to me yesterday, "can't you just stop giving her the bottle?" That's not what I needed to hear. No I can't do that, she will just scream. I have tried my best and she is clearly done. *sigh*
 

Cheer Bear

TRIBE Member
Presley will be 6 months on August 17.

I am loooving this age. She is so much fun! We have a very predictable schedule with great naps. We go swimming lots. I'm just enjoying it all.

On a sad note: she stopped nursing almost 2 weeks ago. *sob sob*. I really wanted to go longer, but she started to either cry or blow bubbles on my boobs.:( We had a good go and I will cherish it forever. I'm down to one pump in the morning. I plan to pump right to the 6 month mark and *probably* stop then. I have cried thinking about no more pumping. This stuff has sooo much emotion attached to it.
Oh no! Sounds like a nursing strike. If you're still interested in nursing these may help: http://kellymom.com/bf/concerns/child/back-to-breast/#linksstrike
 

geminigirl

TRIBE Member
Not making me feel any better mm!:(

She was not an exclusively breast fed baby, so it is very different. She clearly prefers the bottle whether breast milk or formula.
 
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grumblegirl

TRIBE Member
That is one of my biggest fears with regards to bottle feeding (even pumped bm in bottles) - rejection of boob.

If I ever have another kid, I would hope to be able to share the night feeding duties with my partner, but I'm not sure I'll be able to, given how common it is for breast + bottle-fed babies to start rejecting the breast in favour of the bottle. :(
 

mingster

TRIBE Member
david stopped wanting the breast at around 5.5 months, and i was making less and less milk, so we both decided to end it. i was sad about it at first. it's definitely difficult. i felt like my body was made to do this thing, and it couldn't. i was also disappointed in myself for not following one of my doctor's advice, which was to stop the bottle, blah blah. but in the end, after about a week, i started to enjoy being able to wear regular bras and tops again, and i started to enjoy the convenience of the bottle.

you just have to know that you're going through a grieving process and that in a few days, you will start to see the bright side of things. : )
 

geminigirl

TRIBE Member
That is one of my biggest fears with regards to bottle feeding (even pumped bm in bottles) - rejection of boob.

If I ever have another kid, I would hope to be able to share the night feeding duties with my partner, but I'm not sure I'll be able to, given how common it is for breast + bottle-fed babies to start rejecting the breast in favour of the bottle. :(
Yup, rejection of boob sucks.

I can't remember at what point I started giving her more bottle than boob. If there is a next, I know I will do a combo again, but will be more careful of offering too many bottles if I want to hold onto nursing longer.
 
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geminigirl

TRIBE Member
david stopped wanting the breast at around 5.5 months, and i was making less and less milk, so we both decided to end it. i was sad about it at first. it's definitely difficult. i felt like my body was made to do this thing, and it couldn't. i was also disappointed in myself for not following one of my doctor's advice, which was to stop the bottle, blah blah. but in the end, after about a week, i started to enjoy being able to wear regular bras and tops again, and i started to enjoy the convenience of the bottle.

you just have to know that you're going through a grieving process and that in a few days, you will start to see the bright side of things. : )
Thanks for your post. You're absolutely right about a grieving process. I am sure I will start to feel better soon enough. In the last week, Presley is sleeping waaay better at night. That is a big plus. And I have more time in the evening now that I dropped that night pump.
 

Metal Morphosis

TRIBE Member
Not making me feel any better mm!:(

She was not an exclusively breast fed baby, so it is very different. She clearly prefers the bottle whether breast milk or formula.
We've supplemented formula with Thomas since he was about 2 weeks old, so it is a very similar situation. Our ped really encouraged me to stick with it since he was only 4 months old and it did gradually get better. It was all new to me since Elliot never rejected the boob, even when he was teething. What nipple flow are you using? We still use the slow flow nipples and I think maybe that has helped him stay interested in the boob since I feel that he generally likes BF'ing less than Elliot did.
 

rubytuesday

TRIBE Member
That is one of my biggest fears with regards to bottle feeding (even pumped bm in bottles) - rejection of boob.

If I ever have another kid, I would hope to be able to share the night feeding duties with my partner, but I'm not sure I'll be able to, given how common it is for breast + bottle-fed babies to start rejecting the breast in favour of the bottle. :(
Because L ended up developing a nipple preference (for bottle nipples) I am definitely worried about what will happen with a second baby. I read a lot (too late) about how to avoid the preference and in retrospect I see I made a lot of mistakes, although I was doing my best in the circumstances we had.
I was separated from L during the day from 12 weeks onwards which I'm sure also affected things. It seemed like too much to ask L's caregivers and my bf to feed him with a slow flow bottle and not let him suck it all back at once, there is a technique to bottle feeding a nursing baby that helps to prevent a preference from developing, which is basically to make bottle feeding less convenient and interrupt it the same way that babies have to take breaks when they're nursing. I'm definitely doing that next time, but L's caregivers would complain it took him forever to drink a bottle and that he would pull off a lot and so I was actually happy when he started adjusting to the bottle with a faster flow, doi.

He started rejecting me in the daytime after I went away for an overnight conference, I came back and it was like he had learned that bottles are great, and formula is tasty. I started supplementing because I got tired of rushing home every day to feed L but that reduced the amount L nursed in the evening and it snowballed from there. He would also go on strikes if he was teething or sick and I gave in and gave him a bottle and I think once I was feeding him bottles he dissociated my boobs with food.

I fought it by trying to pump my supply back up and offer as much as possible but it was seriously demoralizing to offer the breast and have L just bite me (and he had several teeth at that point too), he was done, although he would still nurse at night when he was asleep once or twice but that meant never getting a break at night. I saw an LC who told me to pump about 1.5-2 hours a day to get my supply back and it was just too much with a crawling baby and fulltime school, although I tried for a couple of weeks, and I nearly got a domperidone script, but my bf thought I was nuts, and no one seemed to care but me so I let it go, although I was really angry about the whole deal at the time. I also felt really guilty because I had had a great supply, L had no problems nursing, it was lifestyle choices that created the issue. That said I was unable to find many stories of moms who had had this happen and saved the nursing relationship, and I wonder if all of my fighting it was worth the stress when I could have been enjoying my time with L.

Oh and MM I commend you for making combo feeding work. I think pumping, nursing, and formula feeding altogether is so tough, especially when you're not away in an office pumping, I could barely handle that even. I'm hoping to have a job that allows me to take a full maternity leave with the next LO and then these things won't be such an issue for me hopefully.
 
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Casey

TRIBE Member
As far as bottles and boobs go - my next baby is not touching a bottle ever if I can help it.

I hate bottles. I hate washing them, I hate making sure I have bottles with me whenever I go anywhere, and I hate that they seem to be at the root of our breastfeeding problems.

My little guy was jaundiced after delivery, and it got worse until he was hospitalized so he could receive phototherapy. I sat there in the nursery and cried my eyes out for two days while he was in his incubator. Every time I was allowed to feed him (every three hours) I had to weigh him before and after each feeding to see how much he was getting. I was only allowed to feed for 15 minutes on each side, and he never took in enough so we had to give him bottles. When we left the hospital I was too afraid to not give him bottles because it was crucial that he remained hydrated and well fed. Once he was gaining well, I tried to eliminate bottles and it didn't go well.

At 8 weeks, a lactation consultant told me there was something wrong with my baby and he wasn't able to transfer milk well, even though his latch and everything else looked fine. She told me that she couldn't help me and that I should give up and pump. At that point, I resigned myself to comfort nursing him to sleep, and pumping and giving bottles for feedings. I continued doing this until I found a new lactation consultant when my little guy was 4 months. She seemed to think that nothing was wrong other than a bad case of bottle preference for feedings. We worked to reduce the number of bottles he was getting and had some good success until he started teething and started refusing my breast when he was hungry. After a while we were both so frustrated that I went back to pumping and bottle feeding and just nursing him when he needed to go to sleep, because that's what made him happy.

I've dropped a bunch of pumping sessions recently so i'm pumping three times a day now and he also gets about 6 oz of formula each day. I'll be going back to work in a couple of weeks, and I'm planning on dropping down to two pumps/day.

I really, really hope that next time I can feed my child without all of the bottles and pumping and stress and general crappiness that I experienced this time.
 
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rubytuesday

TRIBE Member
You've done so good Casey, I hope you don't have these problems with your next LO.

I thought some of the breastfeeding literature was a little extreme with the "no soothers, no formula, etc." advice but obviously now I totally get it, introducing formula makes it a lot harder to keep a healthy supply up (if you have no supply issues I mean), and pacifiers can be really great but they no doubt can lead to the baby nursing less. I was all excited about combo feeding as a solution for being away from L but it really threw a wrench in things. I really hope I can stay home with the next baby for at least 6 months so that pumping and bottles aren't necessary.

Oh I have been having trouble with L not eating enough solids (except fruit), and then I did some reading and realized L was getting more than enough calories from formula, I was still giving him 2 4-ounce bottles at night on top of a 6-8 ounce bottle before bed which is nearly all of the milk suggested for toddlers. So I've started giving L water when he wakes up instead of formula and amazingly he hasn't protested this at all, and suddenly is he very happy to eat food all day, and then have a few small bottles during the day. I'm glad it resolved itself that easily, it was hard to cut down the night feeds because he's kind of scrawny and I felt like I was depriving him.

I highly recommend this book for dealing with solids: Amazon.com: My Child Won't Eat!: How to Prevent and Solve the Problem (La Leche League International Book) (9780912500997): Carlos González: Books, as well as this one: Amazon.com: How to Get Your Kid to Eat: But Not Too Much (9780915950836): Ellyn Satter: Books. My SIL's daughters are very picky eaters and I am trying to avoid it with L, we are giving him as much variety as we can right now, re-offering foods he doesn't like right away, and I am trying not to pressure him at all although everyone else is pushing food at him when he's not interested and really watching him eat. I'm trying to convince them that "they provide, he decides" but good luck right? It's so hard not to badger kids to eat something or push them to eat more and is ingrained as a good tactic.
 

skyparty

TRIBE Member
Ok, I'm getting very frustrated with my kid.

He growls at me, he growls at the bottle, at nap time, he growls and anyone trying to do things for him! Is this his new "I want to be the maan" ?

He fights eating, and I have to shove a bottle down his throat to get him to eat and that can be hours past a hungry period. He does the same thing for naps. Everything has to be on his terms.

He was sleeping through the night, and now all of sudden he's stopped, and is getting up in the middle of the night starving- well no friggin wonder kid! you are going sometimes 5 hours between bottle feedings... doesn't eat breakfast anymore, barely eats dinner...

He's like a frigging toddler!!!!!

He turns 7 months in a week.
 

mcbee

TRIBE Member
I'm like Casey.....next kid I want nothing to do with bottles!!! And effin' tubes! I was so sick of washing tubes, bottles, mixing formula etc etc. it was all crazy making. tube feeding, pumping multiple times a day, domperidone, herbal supplements.....it was a gong show. But combo feeding did work for us. Brooklyn would always take the boob and the bottle and was fine with both. I still wish I had been able to produce enough milk for her and that her tongue tie had been resolved much easier.

I was really sad to wean....in my guilt ridden mind, it meant I had officially failed at breastfeeding. But eventually, it I was okay with it. The whole breastfeeding experience had been so emotionally hard on me, that it was actually quite freeing to be done with it. However, my abrupt weaning and abrupt quitting of domperidone had a big hand in my PPA onset, I believe.

:)sarah
 

Cheer Bear

TRIBE Member
Ok, I'm getting very frustrated with my kid.

He growls at me, he growls at the bottle, at nap time, he growls and anyone trying to do things for him! Is this his new "I want to be the maan" ?

He fights eating, and I have to shove a bottle down his throat to get him to eat and that can be hours past a hungry period. He does the same thing for naps. Everything has to be on his terms.

He was sleeping through the night, and now all of sudden he's stopped, and is getting up in the middle of the night starving- well no friggin wonder kid! you are going sometimes 5 hours between bottle feedings... doesn't eat breakfast anymore, barely eats dinner...

He's like a frigging toddler!!!!!

He turns 7 months in a week.
Whenever there's a major developmental milestone (teething, growing, etc) I found sleeping/eating went out the window.

Of course make sure there's nothing else wrong (ear infections, etc) but that sounds normal. lol
 
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mariazmess

TRIBE Member
As a mom I feel the desperate need to share some motherly advice. If I get pregnant and start BFing again, someone remind me: just go with it. Be sad, be frustrated, be however-you-feel, but just go with it and find a way to make it liveable. Kid won't eat? Go with it. Kid won't sleep? Go with it. Kid won't breastfeed? Go with it. The most important thing is to not make yourself feel awful and to do what you feel is best. And find allies who feel how you feel and get tips and tricks from them, not from the people in your immediate living space who are telling you you're not doing it right/properly/good enough. sigh.

In other news, my boy's been grinding his teeth. I hear it's normal (maybe his molars are coming in??), but I feel like i'm grinding my teeth in sympathy. The joys of co-sleeping.

Also, I think I finally found a pair of shoes that don't hurt my boy's feet! We had a fake pair of Crocs and some sandals that were giving him blisters. Found a $25 pair of real Crocs at Softmoc yesterday and he's been running in them like a mad man.

... running so much that he badly chaffed the inside of his thighs... :( DON'T PUT ALOE ON CHAFFING. I've never heard him scream so loud!! :( I ended up putting calendula diaper creme on it. Was tickly. :)

Can't wait to see what my boys' style is Cheer Bear! Your girl is awesome! :) Judging from yesterday's shoe shopping, it's all stilettos for him. :rolleyes: Bright orange sky-high shoes baby! I'll admit, they were very fun.
 

geminigirl

TRIBE Member
As a mom I feel the desperate need to share some motherly advice. If I get pregnant and start BFing again, someone remind me: just go with it. Be sad, be frustrated, be however-you-feel, but just go with it and find a way to make it liveable. Kid won't eat? Go with it. Kid won't sleep? Go with it. Kid won't breastfeed? Go with it. The most important thing is to not make yourself feel awful and to do what you feel is best. And find allies who feel how you feel and get tips and tricks from them, not from the people in your immediate living space who are telling you you're not doing it right/properly/good enough. sigh.
Wise words.:)
 

rubytuesday

TRIBE Member
As a mom I feel the desperate need to share some motherly advice. If I get pregnant and start BFing again, someone remind me: just go with it. Be sad, be frustrated, be however-you-feel, but just go with it and find a way to make it liveable. Kid won't eat? Go with it. Kid won't sleep? Go with it. Kid won't breastfeed? Go with it. The most important thing is to not make yourself feel awful and to do what you feel is best. And find allies who feel how you feel and get tips and tricks from them, not from the people in your immediate living space who are telling you you're not doing it right/properly/good enough. sigh.

In other news, my boy's been grinding his teeth. I hear it's normal (maybe his molars are coming in??), but I feel like i'm grinding my teeth in sympathy. The joys of co-sleeping.

Also, I think I finally found a pair of shoes that don't hurt my boy's feet! We had a fake pair of Crocs and some sandals that were giving him blisters. Found a $25 pair of real Crocs at Softmoc yesterday and he's been running in them like a mad man.
<3

Does your boy have big/wide/tall feet too? So far the only thing that really fits L well are robeez, but those don't count as "shoes", more like slippers, although I'm down with the soft soles and he doesn't hate them. Stride Rite makes wide and extra wide shoes for kids, I'm going to measure L's feet and figure out if he needs them. For winter I've got the stonz boots (also not real boots), and I couldn't fit his feet into the padraig booties everyone uses with them but the liners should fit.
 

mariazmess

TRIBE Member
He has super-wide feet! He's generally a robust young lad, but his feet are especially tough. I hate to buy him shoes that are too long (but wide enough) because I can't imagine that would be comfy.

Lace-up shoes seem to be our best bet for now. And Crocs! And his Ottawa Senators slippers. He's gone outside in them because they're comfy. And his rain boots -- rain or shine. Again: Just go with it! I'd rather him playing and having fun than watching him take his sandals off in the middle of the playground because his feet hurt!
 
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