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The Mom Thread

rubytuesday

TRIBE Member
Oh man r6bikerchick, congrats first of all, and secondly I hope the ultrasound tech was just being extra vigilant and that it's not an actual second pregnancy going on, and if it is hopefully it's been caught early enough that the surgeon can take care of it safely. My fingers will be crossed that your main pregnancy comes out alright.
 

R4V4G3D_SKU11S

TRIBE Member
Congrats! :)

Also, that's ridiculous that you have to wait. Due to your trip to a private clinic, I am assuming it is a long wait for the 2nd u/s? I would seriously think about making something up to get an u/s through the er. Tell them you had spotting or something.
 

mcbee

TRIBE Member
I would seriously think about making something up to get an u/s through the er. Tell them you had spotting or something.
I was thinking the same thing....say you've had really bad cramping and based on the original u/s with the suspected ectopic, you are freaked out hence your e/r trip.
:)sarah
 

r6bikerchick

TRIBE Member
Reading my mind, people. I'm not sure how long the wait is just yet - I'm WAITING to find that out, too: The way it works here, my doctor has to send a requisition to the ultrasound lab. Then they MAIL me a letter (as in lettermail, Canada Post) telling me when my appointment is. THEN I get to go in. If the appointment is more than 7-10 days away, I'm going to the emergency room and complaining of pain (no matter what I'm actually feeling).

Talk about sub-standard health care.

Thanks for the kind thoughts. I can only pray that it was a mistake on the tech's part, and barring that, that they can deal with the ectopic without harming the "normal" (intrauterine) pregnancy.

One foot in front of the other, indeed. And somehow I'm supposed to still go to work and meet deadlines...sigh.
 

echo

TRIBE Member
Wow - that IS a lot to take in r6bikerchick!! Nothing like getting exciting and possibly scary news all at once.

Reading my mind, people. I'm not sure how long the wait is just yet - I'm WAITING to find that out, too: The way it works here, my doctor has to send a requisition to the ultrasound lab. Then they MAIL me a letter (as in lettermail, Canada Post) telling me when my appointment is. THEN I get to go in.
I think you should call your health care provider back and demand a better action plan, or at least a better explanation as to WHY you are being put through the "regular" process for U/S referral. Explain that you know that's how they "usually do things" but that in your particular situation, you do not feel it's appropriate to wait for a mailed appointment date, as your understanding was that it could be a rather urgent situation.

These U/S places HAVE phones, so I can guarantee that they get phone calls about urgent cases/referrals. And I can also guarantee that they will bring people in on an urgent basis (without mailing out an appointment date) if needed.

Now having said that - perhaps, they do not believe this is an "urgent" situation - which depending on how you look at it could be a good thing, because non-urgent means it's more likely that the tech was just being overly cautious and therefor suggested that you have a followup ultrasound to rule out the possibility of heterotopic pregnancy.

One of the differential diagnoses is a ruptured ovarian cyst - and I think you mentioned that you have had some issues with your cycle being off - and concern about PCOS? So maybe they are making you wait for another ultrasound (a weeks time perhaps) so they can see if anything has changed? If they sent you right back tomorrow, and it IS a ruptured cyst (and I really really hope that's all it is :)) then maybe they won't see any difference and thus they won't be able to rule anything out one way or another? Whereas if they wait a week, it might give time for a ruptured cyst to go away, and thus (if they can't confirm the previous findings) they will be able to say with better certainty that it is NOT a heterotopic pregnancy? That's just a guess on my part - but if it IS the case, then your doctor should explain it to you better and provide some reassurance!

You are your own best health advocate, and I hate to say it - but with our health care system, often times the squeaky wheel really DOES get the grease. So give them a call back, explain that you are VERY anxious, and that you have been TTC for some time now, and that this pregnancy is very important to you (not like any pregnancy isn't but you know what I mean) and ask that they either call in your referral, or perhaps ask if you can get the name of the U/S clinic that they are referring you to so you can CALL THEM and ask if you should be coming in sooner.

If the appointment is more than 7-10 days away, I'm going to the emergency room and complaining of pain (no matter what I'm actually feeling).
And I was going to suggest that if you do all the above and they still shunt you through the normal procedures and you have to wait longer than normal - just head on in to the E/R with cramping and pain ;)

I'm sending you good vibes and hoping that the tech was just being overly cautious and everything will be normal on your follow-up ultrasound!!!
 
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LeoGirl

TRIBE Member
okay completely random and probably dumb question, but do letters to Santa need a stamp? I can't remember if I put them on last year and I remember hearing (a couple years ago), that letters to Santa do NOT need a stamp.
 

Jennika

TRIBE Member
hey moms, Ben has a bad cough with this current crappy cold that's plaguing our home/his pre-school.

I know for me the only thing that's helping sooth it at night are Halls, anyone know if there is any sort of 3-year-old friendly lozenge I can give him? I've given him a spoonful of honey and that didn't really help. It just breaks my heart to hear him coughing all night.
 

jellibeen

TRIBE Member
My mom growing up used warm water with honey and little lemon juice. Haven't tried this on my own kids, but I remember it working for me then.
 
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Tins

TRIBE Member
skyparty - I did go off my headache/migraine prevention medication prior to trying to get pregnant with my first child. I think it took me a a few months to wean off of them and it wasn't as horrible as I thought. I am now pregnant with my second and I never went back on them. I was taking them for the daily headaches that I continue to get. I had called Mother Risk before trying to get pregnant and was advised to go off as it was such a new medication that it had never been tested for pregnancy. Good luck!
 

LeoGirl

TRIBE Member
there is a daily anti-migraine pill? tell me more and how one might convince their doctor to hand it over. The script my doctor gave me does nothing for my headaches.
 

mariazmess

TRIBE Member
this might be a little personal for the Mom Thread, but i want to talk libido.

I've had some friends tell me that they didn't have sex with their husbands for a year after having a baby. My husband wants to have sex every effing day and although I'm flattered he finds me sexy and I still think he's über-hot, I'm just not in the mood. (we have sex, just not as often as he'd like. i hate rejecting him, and i hate feeling annoyed at the idea of having sex. i kinda feel like i lost my mojo.)

Is it a hormone thing? Are my hormones out of whack and it takes a while for them to get "back to normal"? part of it is breastfeeding and just not feeling the same in my body after childbirth, but it's got to have something to do with hormones.

anyone have any wisdom to share (without going into TMI) or perhaps some literature i could share with the hubs on the subject?
 

Jennika

TRIBE Member
I can say that I had no sex drive while I was nursing, well little to none. definitely none in the first 6 months. it slowly got back to normal after I weened Ben at a year, and then was totally normal after I'd weened a few months except that you're more tired and busy in general so finding time is a bit harder.
 
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r6bikerchick

TRIBE Member
Thanks, echo. It's as though I read your mind without having seen your post. I have some "better" news to share (I won't call it good news until I know that I actually have a viable pregnancy that I'm going to be able to carry to term) about my appointment.

Wow - that IS a lot to take in r6bikerchick!! Nothing like getting exciting and possibly scary news all at once.

I think you should call your health care provider back and demand a better action plan, or at least a better explanation as to WHY you are being put through the "regular" process for U/S referral. Explain that you know that's how they "usually do things" but that in your particular situation, you do not feel it's appropriate to wait for a mailed appointment date, as your understanding was that it could be a rather urgent situation.

These U/S places HAVE phones, so I can guarantee that they get phone calls about urgent cases/referrals. And I can also guarantee that they will bring people in on an urgent basis (without mailing out an appointment date) if needed.
I actually did get a PHONE call from my doctor's office yesterday, letting me know that they had confirmed my appointment with the imaging lab for an ultrasound on Thursday, December 16th. Still a week away, but better than I expected. I'm also glad that I didn't have to wait for a letter in the mail to tell me about it.

I also saw that I missed a phone call from the imaging lab itself, so I made sure to follow up this morning. The woman who answered the phone was the same woman who had tried to contact me yesterday, and she re-confirmed my appointment for the 16th. However, when I expressed my/my doctor's concerns to her, and she asked me a few more questions, she was surprised that they had "left me hanging" (her words) in the face of a suspected ectopic pregnancy. Once I described the results of the original ultrasound to her, she instantly changed my appointment to TOMORROW, Friday, December 10th. :) So, that's the "better" news. Squeaky wheel does get the grease! But obviously SHE believes it warrants urgent attention.

Obviously it's been very hard to stay calm/stress-free for the past few days. I've been doing some research to try to put my mind at ease - it's not exactly working, but it's not exactly hurting either. Up to 2/3 of women are able to carry the intrauterine pregnancy to term after terminating the ectopic pregnancy surgically (whether a qualified laparoscopic surgeon exists in Nfld is another matter). Another possible scenario is that I don't have a normal intrauterine pregnancy at all. It's possible that the hormones from the ectopic pregnancy are having an impact on my uterine tissue to make it appear that there is a gestational sac, but it is actually a phenomenon called a gestational pseudo-sac. In English, I only look like I have a normal pregnancy in my uterus, but there is nothing really there at all. On the one hand, it would be good to know that I can safely terminate the ectopic pregnancy without worrying about disturbing the intrauterine pregnancy, on the other hand, it would mean that there is no chance that I'm going to get a living baby out of this at all. :(

One of the differential diagnoses is a ruptured ovarian cyst - and I think you mentioned that you have had some issues with your cycle being off - and concern about PCOS? So maybe they are making you wait for another ultrasound (a weeks time perhaps) so they can see if anything has changed? If they sent you right back tomorrow, and it IS a ruptured cyst (and I really really hope that's all it is :)) then maybe they won't see any difference and thus they won't be able to rule anything out one way or another? Whereas if they wait a week, it might give time for a ruptured cyst to go away, and thus (if they can't confirm the previous findings) they will be able to say with better certainty that it is NOT a heterotopic pregnancy? That's just a guess on my part - but if it IS the case, then your doctor should explain it to you better and provide some reassurance!
This is plausible, and I really hope that it is true! Polycystic ovaries were considered as a cause for my highly irregular menstrual cycle, and the tech did see some cystic activity on my right ovary (the side on which the ectopic pregnancy is suspected). The first ultrasound was December 1 and the tech recommended a follow-up ultrasound in 7-10 days (December 8-11), which lines up pretty well with the timing you describe above.

I think my doctor is out of his depth on all of this - he is just my regular GP, not an ob/gyn or a fertility specialist. He is, however, very supportive of me doing my own research and being actively involved in and informed on my care, so I really appreciate that about him.

I'm sending you good vibes and hoping that the tech was just being overly cautious and everything will be normal on your follow-up ultrasound!!!
Thanks! Updates to follow!

Thanks also to Ravaged Skulls and mcbee - I know you guys know firsthand how much this phase SUCKS.
 
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sk8

TRIBE Member
I also saw that I missed a phone call from the imaging lab itself, so I made sure to follow up this morning. The woman who answered the phone was the same woman who had tried to contact me yesterday, and she re-confirmed my appointment for the 16th. However, when I expressed my/my doctor's concerns to her, and she asked me a few more questions, she was surprised that they had "left me hanging" (her words) in the face of a suspected ectopic pregnancy. Once I described the results of the original ultrasound to her, she instantly changed my appointment to TOMORROW, Friday, December 10th. :) So, that's the "better" news. Squeaky wheel does get the grease! But obviously SHE believes it warrants urgent attention.
This kind of thing is a double edged sword for worry eh? A similar thing happened to me (not baby related) when I was super sick. They booked me a specialist appointment for 3 weeks away. I then got a phone call the next day from the specialist reviewing my file demanding that they see me immediately. My first thought was "Whew, less waiting" but followed by "Wait, what the hell is wrong with me that it's so imperative?".

But the less waiting is so much more important, and it leaves you less time to worry about what it might be. It's better just to know so you can deal with whatever it happens to be. I really hope yours turns out to be happy news!

Good Luck Tomorrow! :)
 

LeoGirl

TRIBE Member
this might be a little personal for the Mom Thread, but i want to talk libido.

I've had some friends tell me that they didn't have sex with their husbands for a year after having a baby. My husband wants to have sex every effing day and although I'm flattered he finds me sexy and I still think he's über-hot, I'm just not in the mood. (we have sex, just not as often as he'd like. i hate rejecting him, and i hate feeling annoyed at the idea of having sex. i kinda feel like i lost my mojo.)

Is it a hormone thing? Are my hormones out of whack and it takes a while for them to get "back to normal"? part of it is breastfeeding and just not feeling the same in my body after childbirth, but it's got to have something to do with hormones.

anyone have any wisdom to share (without going into TMI) or perhaps some literature i could share with the hubs on the subject?
you're not alone.
what's sex drive?
this!
 

Metal Morphosis

TRIBE Member
I can say that I had no sex drive while I was nursing, well little to none.
I second this. Breastfeeding certainly puts your hormones out of whack. I guess lowering your sex drive is your body's defense against another pregnancy since it knows that you're currently caring for another kid.
 
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