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The I don't want babies thread

Discussion in 'Girl Stuff Forum' started by Interchange, Aug 3, 2014.

  1. Interchange

    Interchange TRIBE Promoter

    The further i get into my 30's the more people i know are having babies and the more i get asked why i don't wan't kids. Even some recent dates i have gone on, the guys want my uterus to reproduce..ugh deal breaker.
    i will not give in !! don't get me wrong, i do like kids, sometimes, but mostly they annoy me.
    I have known i have not wanted kids since i was a kid, but more and more these days i feel i am becoming a rare breed.. always on my face book there is a new baby bump or fetus photos .. no your fetus photo is not cute its gross it looks like an alien with possibly two dicks and 3 heads. :rolleyes:
    Anyway this is a rant about why not having babies is awesome, but sometimes annoying because of the pressure and guilt that people like to push on you.
     
    BeeDee likes this.
  2. alexd

    alexd Administrator Staff Member

    It is not just the women who feel pressure to breed.
     
  3. awwnaw

    awwnaw TRIBE Member

    Pushing /expecting a major life decision like kids of someone is stupid. Posting in a mom thread about not wanting kids is also dumb.
     
  4. Twinkle Toes

    Twinkle Toes TRIBE Member

    I am with you. I am 42, and not once during my life have I even considered wanting a child. However, I really like kids and am very natural with them, so it's a shock when I tell people I never wanted.

    I love my life as it is.... I have 2 nieces and a nephew. I also have 3 god children. Not even their births made me feel even a bit motherly.
     
  5. acheron

    acheron TRIBE Member

    Most of the couples I know who don't want kids are alcoholics so it's probably a good thing
     
  6. Interchange

    Interchange TRIBE Promoter

    nailed it ! i am drunk right now, at a cottage - not even a couple so that must make me even worse
     
  7. Interchange

    Interchange TRIBE Promoter

    nailed it ! i am drunk right now, at a cottage - not even a couple so that must make me even worse, drunken druggies slut
     
  8. Interchange

    Interchange TRIBE Promoter

    lolz #whitegirlwasted and how the fuck is posting a thread about not wanting babies stupid ? srlsy ? if you can rant about having kids, why is it stoopid that i can't rant about not wanting kids ? #stfu
     
    Last edited: Aug 3, 2014
  9. ravinjunkie

    ravinjunkie TRIBE Member

    The grossiest thing Ive seen is a new born baby, unwashed popping on my newsfees. Clean the goo up please.

    I'm beginning to like being around kids, but the idea of marriage really does freak me out.
     
  10. Interchange

    Interchange TRIBE Promoter

    ch33se

    word
     
  11. Rage

    Rage TRIBE Member

    All I see on any form of social media and through other forms of communication are one of three things;

    1 - So & so want a baby

    2 - So & so is having a baby

    3 - So & so just had their baby

    My wife & I just want to travel, party & enjoy our life as a twosome. Nothing against kids or those who want/have them. Just don't need to have it thrown in our face so much & be made to feel like we're doing something wrong by being at the age we're at (upper late 30's) in a great marriage, happy as shit & spending all our time/money that we would have had to spend on our kid/s on ourselves by taking 3-5 trips a year to exotic locations to relax/party!
     
  12. Interchange

    Interchange TRIBE Promoter

    indeed Rage ! the pressure is there the higher i get into my 30's and when friends/aquaintances get preggers, i am happy for them, but a little part of me thinks damn ! not another one ! finding childless freinds is getting harder and dating too.. i think i might have to start dating dudes in thier 20's again... no !!!! start hanging out at frat parties lol. i feel the same way to i really do like kids, when they are not screaming and i like being able to return them.
    and yes my facebook feed is now baby book ! but i guess when people have a baby thier whole life becomes about that, sometimes its hard to wrap my head around it.
    i like living my life for me, so many things to do, and places to go and see, so little time !
     
  13. alexd

    alexd Administrator Staff Member

  14. praktik

    praktik TRIBE Member

    Its ok guys, there will come a time when we tire of all the FB threads on who went to who's funeral.

    maybe its an ok time for our FB feeds, probably just the three Ds from here on in: Divorce, Disease and Death


    with THAT said. I like kids. I also like not having one now. I really feel so completely on the fence. I see both sides, and don't want the value of my life - whatever happens - to be determined by the outcome of this dilemma inside me.

    For me now I just feel "full" with work, what I need to do for my back and to take care of the people already around me. Doesn't feel like there's much space for a rugrat.
     
  15. Sal De Ban

    Sal De Ban TRIBE Member

    I wouldn't have to change my life around too much to make room. I'm not afraid. There would just be less time and money for traveling. That's the only downside I can see.
     
  16. jocelyn dee

    jocelyn dee TRIBE Promoter

    When you have kids, life as you know it is pretty much over and life becomes all abou the kids. Good for you for recognizing you are where you want to be and don't need kids to feel complete. Nothing wrong with that.
     
  17. Mr. Magyar

    Mr. Magyar TRIBE Member

    Except it wasn't posted in a mom thread.
     
  18. peko

    peko TRIBE Member

    You can travel with kids. Just toss em in a backpack - it's the diapers, formula and accessories which are the downside.

    Edit: nothing wrong with not having kids.
     
    Last edited: Aug 11, 2014
  19. cosmiK-Cat

    cosmiK-Cat TRIBE Member

    i just really enjoy being an Auntie.
    But i do get tired of hearing things like: "You just haven't met the right man" . Ahem. As i've been with the SAME GUY for 20 years, my response is now: " oh we do, we have a teenager in the closet"

    I'm happy other people want to have kids, and lots of them- otherwise i wouldn't have brothers and get to be an Aunt :)
    Some nice things about being an Aunt
     
    Last edited: Sep 29, 2014
  20. Interchange

    Interchange TRIBE Promoter

    I just don't get it, why do people want kids these days ? the world is just such a mess ! and things are only getting worse, I am glad there are people having kids… i think we need to keep the world populated, but the world is already over-populated, falling apart, and full of people that really should not even be having kids !

    It really confuses me! is it a selfish thing ? do people feel they need to pass their genetics along ? they need to see a little person that is like them ? i guess it brings joy and happiness, but it just seems like it would cause a lot of stress ! or maybe people feel, this is what you do you get older settle down and reproduce ? I don't think i was ever meant to have kids, i think i have always known this. end stoner rant.
     
  21. Bumbaclat

    Bumbaclat TRIBE Member

    It is a really strong trait shared by almost every living thing.
     
  22. Bumbaclat

    Bumbaclat TRIBE Member

    Exactly. It's just a reflection of what most people in your age category are doing. I am recently engaged at the age of 36 but when I was 28-35 I didn't lose my shit because my FB feed was full of engagement parties, wedding photos and anniversary announcements.
     
  23. Booty Bits

    Booty Bits TRIBE Member

    yeah Interchange, the urge to procreate is a natural part of life. it is required to ensure the survival of the species.
    it doesn't get more basic than that.
     
  24. JEMZ

    JEMZ TRIBE Member

    I respect when someone gives thought into whether they want to have children because I have found often in life, many people do not really consider the question legitimately.

    I have two children of my own and I love them with every bit of my being. They dictate every decision I make from the moment I wake up to the moment I fall asleep... then I dream about them and wake up in the night worried about them, I check on them, they chatter in their sleep and it is creepy, I have to watch out for the boy peeing on the wall when he gets up in the night to go to the bathroom, my daughter falls out of bed - there is no turning my brain off in respect to them 24/7, 365.

    And that is why I will happily speak openly about my own experiences and try to help people with their decision if they are unsure. Children change everything, they are a fuckton of work, money, and time... and they are ungrateful for all of it. They do stupid things in public, they throw up on you 2 minutes before you have to be a pall bearer at a funeral. They smash their faces on doorknobs and they crap their pants in bumper to bumper traffic on a hot summer day. They will on more than a few occasions make you question why the shit you ever agreed to this lifetime of indentured servitude. But you will never want to go back (at least not for long).

    If you can get past all the gross, sleepless, thankless, helpless, hopeless moments that you are the chief decision maker in, then being part of the growth of a human from conception through every up and down life can throw has to be the most incredible experience any human can be part of. I would never change a second of it, but I respect that it isn't for everyone.

    So know thy self. If it isn't for you, then be proud of it and don't live to the expectations of anyone else because there is no turning back and whatever the decision you make, it is yours for life.
     
  25. Metal Morphosis

    Metal Morphosis TRIBE Member

    well said Jamie.
    my eldest son just started Grade 1. up until now i've felt that my role has been caregiver - feed them, keep them clean and dressed etc. Now that the homework has started and the real interaction with other kids (and their parents!) has begun, i feel like THIS is really parenting. Before it was basic survival, but now is the time that shaping these kids into beings really begins. It's terrifying!

    so heed Jamie's words and really think things through, because the pregnancy and labour and first few years of life aren't so bad when you think of the lifetime of parenting that will soon follow.
     

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