THE HOUSE RULES - please add to the list

[Klubmasta Will]

this is a thread for everyone out there who enjoys entertaining at their respective places of residence. whether for pre-partying, after-partying, birthdays, football games, oscars, whatever ... some of us just love to be hosts.

this thread is for THE HOSTS to put together a list of rules to make our lives a bit easier. please feel free to add to the list. after all, it's all in the name of making the party run just a little bit smoother.

disclaimer: none of these rules are directed at anyone in particular. and even if they are, it is all PURELY in good fun.

ps. this thread is dedicated to the HoS.

THE HOUSE RULES

1. GUESTS shall finish each beverage (or pour it out) before obtaining a new beverage. (half-full beers tend to smell if left in the box for a few days.)

2. GUESTS shall not vomit inside the HOST's residence. without limiting the generality of the foregoing, this shall apply to the HOST's bed, balcony, floor, kitchen sink, the area behind the bar and the potted plants. the *only* exception to this rule is the HOST's toilet. (for clarification purposes, the bathroom sink is not the toilet.)

3. GUESTS shall not make fun of the HOST's cd/album collection. (on a side note, there is nothing wrong with wham, huey lewis and the news or platinum blonde. they were all quite popular back in the day.)

 

[ChROmE]

H.O.S.

Great Thread, but when your collection includes Wilson Phillips you immediatley open up the questioning of your sexuality!

peace&H.O.S.steady

ChRomE

 

[Klubmasta Will]

4. GUESTS shall not turn on the HOST's stove and then forget about it.

5. if the HOST falls asleep before all the GUESTS have departed, the GUESTS shall not leave the television on or the front door ajar. (GUESTS shall also not leave the television on a channel showing adult movies and then turn the volume up as the HOST's neighbours may start to look at the HOST funny.)

6. GUESTS shall not record annoying songs on a casio keyboard and then play same ad nauseum. (as a sidenote, songs such as "the bort song" are only funny for the first half hour.)

 

[Cheeka]

ahahahaha - too funny !

ok always being the hostess I would like to add:

Please don't bring rashy people with you... I love having people over but I HATE when someone shitty slips through the cracks and then doesn't leave for hours!!

NFG - those who know me and my roomie know what this means... this is the one rule that is NEVER EVER to be broken.
It was broken once.... and that person paid dearly for it the entire evening!

I'm sure there is more....

 

[Klubmasta Will]

(cheeka's was no. 7)

8. GUESTS shall not put the HOST's CDs into the wrong cases.

9. GUESTS shall not throw staplers or anything else at the HOST's television.

10. GUESTS are permitted to fornicate in the HOST's residence but *not* in the HOST's bed. if using the futon in the HOST's workout room, GUESTS shall make every effort to not leave unidentifiable stain marks on the futon surface. (bed sheets are available to make this easier.)

 

[Cheeka]

Originally posted by Klubmasta Will
6. GUESTS shall not record annoying songs on a casio keyboard and then play same ad nauseum. (as a sidenote, songs such as "the bort song" are only funny for the first half hour.)

ok he WAS funny - haha - Ross from Friends styles

 

[Klubmasta Will]

^^^ who's "he"? i just said these rules aren't directed at anyone in particular. stop trying to get me in trouble.

 

[ChROmE]

Originally posted by Cheeka


ok he WAS funny - haha - Ross from Friends styles

Did he do this again on Saturday night????? Will I do apologize! Please throw the Casio down the chute!

peace&BORTsteady

ChRoMe

 

[Cheeka]

NOOOOOOO - don't do it Will....
save the casio!

 

[labRat]

i'm willing to bet this will turn into a checklist for future GUESTS of Will's place.

of course they will be taking the NOT out of each sentence.

--craig

 

[stir-fry]

11. If GUEST feels obligated to steal food/drink/substance from the fridge without permission.. IT BETTER NOT BE THE LAST FUCKING ONE! Don't ever leave the HOST high and dry by stealing their last one. All else is up for grabs.

 

[daddyiwantchocolate]

Originally posted by Cheeka

Please don't bring rashy people with you... I love having people over but I HATE when someone shitty slips through the cracks and then doesn't leave for hours!!

NFG

*choke*

Now that's some funny shit.

 

[Cheeka]

Originally posted by stir-fry
11. If GUEST feels obligated to steal food/drink/substance from the fridge without permission.. IT BETTER NOT BE THE LAST FUCKING ONE! Don't ever leave the HOST high and dry by stealing their last one. All else is up for grabs.

I can't believe I didn't post that rule!!! That's #1 for me.

God help anyone who touches my last corona... or even the last couple .

 

[swenard]

1.no,eating all of the hosts food!!!the food that is allowed to be eatin' is out in the open as provided.


2. no telling my neighbors to F-off. If they're complaining about the noise,turn it down!

3.the most important rule;if you're not sure, ask!!!!!!!

 

[Preroller]

Each guest is required to bring a minimum of either one(1) bottle of wine, or one(1) 26'er of alchohol or six(6) beers to the party, as a contirbuter to the party fund....other party items are welcome as well.......

meh thinking that should be 12 beers instead? ....

 

[Rosey]

great thread!

11. should the HOST fall alseep/pass out with GUESTS still present, the GUESTS shall not abuse the HOST in any way.

12. should GUESTS make tea or coffee they shall at least leave the mug in the sink when they are through with it. preferably they will wash the mug.

13. when playing risk, multiple fortifications are allowed, card progression is by twos from four, countries are recieved by dealing the cards, and the HOST always gets the red armies.

 

[daddyiwantchocolate]

As per my last comment on your hostliness, I still say your skills suck Will.

"Would any of you 10 unexpected guests like a martini?"

 

[Preroller]

if playing euchre, if you order your partner, you must go alone!

 

[Klubmasta Will]

Originally posted by swenard
1.no,eating all of the hosts food!!!the food that is allowed to be eatin' is out in the open as provided.


2. no telling my neighbors to F-off. If they're complaining about the noise,turn it down!

3.the most important rule;if you're not sure, ask!!!!!!!

THE THREAD RULES

1. if replying to someone else's thread and the thread contains a numbered list, the REPLYER shall not start his/her reply with number 1.

again, these rules are NOT directed at anyone in particular.

 

[Rosey]

42. should a GUEST become so intoxicated that they must vist the alter they shall not lock the door behind them, forcing the HOST to remove the lock in order to check if they have died or not.

 

[swenard]

no stealing the hosts seat when he gets up for a beer!all other seats are up for grabs!

 

[Cheeka]

^^^ ed zachery!!
you know where my seat is in the house... so stay out of it.
(that is unless I have reason to want to be in another seat )

haha - and NOW you know

 

[swenard]

no feeding the dog alcohol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dog has large sharp teeth and is probably not a "good" drunk!

plus, its just mean!


just because you smoked in my house when I smoked, doesn't mean you can smoke now!!!!

 

[stir-fry]

Originally posted by swenard
no stealing the hosts seat when he gets up for a beer!all other seats are up for grabs!

SIXTY SEVEN. as an extension of this rule.. if one of the drifters you brought along happens to wonder into my seat, the displaying of my thumb and a pointing over my back motion means "get the hell out of my seat without speaking a word".

 

[swenard]

no whining about the hosts rolling skills,if you're smoking his weed!