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the "Handshakes" thread.

Krzysiu

TRIBE Member
Hello, internet.

My name is Chris *emphatic single pump, strong positive grip*

I was complimented on my handshake last thursday. First impressions are important in this hump-then-dump, power lunch with latte enema desert, money isn't everything thats unimportant world.

Can't respect a guy with a weak handshake. Can't tell what the deal is with a girl with a strong one. the first physical contact we have with people isn't the old dog sniff butt, which is probably more effective, but the HANDSHAKE.

a little history for you... the handshake comes from when two people met and checked each other arms for hidden weapons. Its a white person thing, we're a bunch of waspy backstabbers. African tribes clap above their head or embrace warmly, asians bow out of respectful deference, muslims kiss on the cheek... we check to see if crackers going to stab another honkey in the back.

I long for the day when I can have people kiss my trembling foppish dandy hand, wrapped in a fine silken chemise, bejeweled regally. but lets face it... not too often do you get to be someone who wears a signat ring.

maybe one day. Chrisus Rex?

anyways, I am a big fan of the single hand pump with a good meaty grip that isn't overbearingly tight but also not going to slip away like so much light dandilion seeds in a breeze. I want people to remember me as a physical presence.

whats your technique... the gentle-beaked-fingers-into-the-hand, the shake-till-their-arm falls off, the don't-wanna-touch-but-I-will... I wanna know!

Let's shake on it! *spits in hand and offers it to tribe*
 
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Krzysiu

TRIBE Member
why thread crap? its not really funny yet and it leaves me to assume that you have effeminate, ladyboy grips and throw a ball like terry shiavo.

so why thread crap? did my thread insult you or hurt you? why? lets stop my topic, which I only started to encourage some creative written accounts of handshake related annecdotes which perhaps a select few of us might have found amusing cause we're all not as cool as you two, so you can thread crap some more!

its awesome that you're thread crapping. it makes everything i ever post feel so meaningful! really... and you know how important this is to me. tribe... tribe is all I have.

thanks. I am validated. *singer tear like an indian watching deforestation*


*FART*
 
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Dr Funk MD

TRIBE Promoter
I think I have a pretty good handshake. I also think I'm a pretty good kisser.

At least I've got those two things down. If I die tomorrow at least I can say, I'm proud of my handshakes and kisses. Everything else was pretty sad.
 

Dr Funk MD

TRIBE Promoter
Krzysiu said:
but lets face it... not too often do you get to be someone who wears a signat ring.
Dude, you should totally rock that look. I found an ascot and managed to pull it off in public. You need to find a signat ring and wear it proudly. Perhaps even keep it tucked in your belt to be pulled out at the first sign of danger.
 

L'ilMisSunshine

TRIBE Member
I admit that I judge people by how they shakes hands.

Can't stand those (mainly) women with the lifeless hands that do not entirely grip my hand aka "dead fish". It's so annoying, it feels gross and I think they must be wimpy.

I like medium-firm, a bit of pumping action (don't just leave it in my hand) and there has to be some energy to it.
 

ravinjunkie

TRIBE Member
Krzysiu said:
whats your technique...
Depends on the situation. If I was going for an interview, I make bloody sure my handshake is proper one. I want make an immediate good impression, show I mean business.

Otherwise, I respond to how the other person shakes my hand. [I'm not going to crush someone's intentionally]
Yes, it's a total turn off when a dude gives you a weak handshake. It usually leaves me going, "uhhhhh da fuck?".

Proper handshakes = ftw.

oh p.s. girls with proper handshakes - this girl almost crushed my hand once. I was totally unprepared for it. Made me wonder a few things, did she shake my hand that hard because she had to prove something to me? or does she not think nothing of it and just give good handshakes regardless of gender,strength e.t.c?

Nevertheless, it definitely did give me a good impression of her.
 
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JOSHB

TRIBE Member
graphic1.gif
 

ndrwrld

TRIBE Member
me = male.
shakes hand of male = firm.
shakes hand of female ...firm, to her liking, tho id rather hug.
 

litespeed

Well-Known TRIBEr
L'ilMisSunshine said:
I admit that I judge people by how they shakes hands.

Can't stand those (mainly) women with the lifeless hands that do not entirely grip my hand aka "dead fish". It's so annoying, it feels gross and I think they must be wimpy.


i know men that do that... makes me feel weird to shake their hands.
 

HouseHeadSacha

TRIBE Member
Krzysiu said:
why thread crap? its not really funny...

i think its funny.

and i think Stan is quite funny!

Krzysiu said:
...and it leaves me to assume that you have effeminate, ladyboy grips and throw a ball like terry shiavo.

FINE! Ill answer!

No, I have a proper handshake. Its firm.
 
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The Peej

TRIBE Member
When I lived in the T-Dot I was a pro handshaker! I could look at someone from 20 paces away, make broad generalizations about their background based on their looks, ethnicity etc, then tailor my handshake according to each individuals handshaking pre-disposition.

But here in PEI, only queers touch each other. Sooo, I've lost my edge. Everytime a friend touched my hand on the recent trip back to the city it was an awkward fumbling disaster!

I've lost the touch, touch.

I really miss "props" and "highfives" and complicated multi-step salutations.




Peej
 

quantumize

TRIBE Member
The Peej said:
I really miss "props" and "highfives" and complicated multi-step salutations.




Peej

thats what i thought this thread was all about

rememebr the fresh-prince-dj-jazzy-jeff handshake
 

Jeffsus

TRIBE Member
I was gonna post something else

But then read this post and it made me consider what it would be like to have Kryziu as a boyfriend... hmmm, oh the possibilities....

-jM
A&D
 

AgentSanchez

TRIBE Promoter
Hmmm... definately the firm on-pump handshake if I'm shaking a guys hand.

If I'm shaking a girl's hand, it's the same one pump handshake, only a really light grip.
 
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Jeffsus

TRIBE Member
On longer though -- i really have forgotten how to shake a hand.

Though today I fucked up passing a business card -- ha ha i passed the dude one from some engineer who i had met earlier, mixing up mine and that engineer's in my pocket... man that looked bad....

Though Americans really REALLY like to try to squeeze the shit out of your hand as much as possible; i hate that. Though I appreciate their letting go of your hand as soon as possible, unlike (real) Indians who'll prefer to limply hold you through the whole conversation.

-jM
A&D
 

CiG

TRIBE Member
I find touching fists to be the most hygienic... And I agree, no one likes a dead fish...
 

kmac

TRIBE Member
Firm handshake w/ eye contact. If it's someone I know well, but not well enough to hug because it's a business thing, I will do the Bill Clinton two-hand shake which also lasts longer than the one I give to strangers.
 

Stan

TRIBE Member
What about the handshake / hug? When is that acceptable? And the cheek kiss? When should you do the double kiss? I always feel so awkward in formal social situations. I just stand there and start spazzing out.
 
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