On a fully booked plane trip over the pacific ocean the captain realizes that the weight of the palne is too heavy to make the complete trip across the ocean. The stewards go down below to see if there is anything that they can throw off the plane. Right away they see a huge double sized brand new fridge. they back above and anounce that the owner of the fridge must come forward right away. A man in his late 30's come's forward and asks what the problem is. The staff explain to him the situation. "No way are you throwing my brand new fridge out of the plane" says the man. "But we will all die if we don't" says the staff in return.
Finally the man agrees, but is quite pissed off.
It's the day after John's anniversary and he's out golfing with his buddies when they ask him how things went the day before. John told them how it was great because they went to this nice ass ritzy restaurant and everything, and then when the moment was just right, he gave her a HUGE diamond ring. He told them how her eyes bounced off the far wall and back into her sockets, how her jaw had to be picked up from the floor, and how her face lit up the whole restaurant. Then, his best bud said, "Hey, that's great, but I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel drive vehicles?" To which John replied, "Well, yeah, but where the hell am I going to find a fake SUV?"
A man and a woman are stranded on a deserted island (about 20ft x 20ft with one palm tree). Both of them are still in fine shape (must have been stranded earlier this morning). Suddenly the man sees a huge fish swim right beside the island. He runs to go grab it. when he comes back the woman is dead.
How did she die?