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Swilly the wonder Indian in "So I slept under a bush AGAIN!!!"


TRIBE Member
Well as I enter my third week here I am starting to relive some past experiences. Last night while out and about at this local pub we were sampling some of the local cuisine i.e grilled chicken hearts and gizzard. Not something I would of thought i would enjoy but my god was it ever good. Nothing like some chewy chicken parts to go down with Asahi beer.

Anyways I ended up drinking a bit too much and lost track of time. So me and my friend Noaki ran to the station so I could get on the last train. I arrived with about 25 mins to go until the last subway was going to leave at the connecting station some 4 stops up.

I had more than enough time and was not too worried. Having never been at this station before and getting lost as I now so often do I ended up getting on the wrong train. So after 5 mins pass i look out the window and noticed that the upcoming stop is not the correct stop. I checked on the map and noticed that I had got on the right train but just in the wrong direction. I am now somewhat getting used to this happening. However, this time it was a major hassle as i was cutting it close to closing time for the subway. As it was a circle line that i was on and i was now some 4 stops going in the wrong direction i thought i might as well just stay on this train and ride it fully around. Because if i had got off and waited for another train going the right direction it would probably of been the same amount of time to head back as to simply just take the train fully around.

So it seemed like a good idea anyways. So about 2 stops up from my connecting stop the train stops and EVERYONE gets off. I was trying to figure out what was going on. We still had not fully done the loop and there was still some 10 mins until the last subway. Anyways one of the train workers gets on the train and motions me to leave. I then realized that this was the last train and it was not going to do the full loop.

So with 10 mins left and 2 subway stops up i ran around the station trying to find another train that would get me to my connection. Sadly as this was a small station there was nothing. By this time i had about 2 mins left and realized i was fucked!!!

Basically i had two options. 1 was to take a cab home which from this point would of cost about 100 dollars which....i didnt have or 2) i could get a hotel. So i walked around and found a little hotel and asked about prices. Sure enough they were full. I asked them how much it would be to sleep on the floor in the lobby at which point they motioned me to leave. :)

So anyways i walked around for a bit and realized that i only had to tough it out for 4 hours until the trains would start up again so it was not the end of the world but...it was going to be a hassle.

Inspired by the jeffsus approach to life management i decided to hit up the Rawsons and get 2 tall boys of Asahi to keep me company.

It was at this point that I realized how tired i was and how i was going to have to get some sleep. So i walked around and around and around looking for a park or a nice bench or even some small shrubs I could set up camp under.

Sadly, land prices being what they are I could not find anything. All of a sudden it hit me I was like " hey this whole thing seems familar". Than i realized that this was almost the exact same thing that happened when i got lost up in newcastle and missed the last train home and had to sleep under a bush. So i thought perhaps i was just setting my standards too high for what would be an acceptable bush to sleep under.

So i found the hotel that did want to let me in and sure enough out front there was some nice shrubs and small trees to sleep under.

Now sadly, Japanese bushs are not as nice to sleep under as British ones. The British ones had lots of space underneath them and there was alot of room and a nice layer of soft leaves to cuddle up with.
Japanese ones have no fucking room and alot of prickly fucking branches that jab into you when ever you move.

I guess much like alot of stuff in japan there was just less room on the whole. However, considering now how drunk and tired i was i diidnt care. So I passed out trying to get as comfortable as I could with about inch of space between my face and the branches over head.

After a fairly long sleep I awoke and checked what time it was. I could hear the trains running so i got the hell up and got the Hell out of there. Last thing i would of wanted was for the gardener to come out and see my passed out ass in the garden infront of thier hotel.

So I got my shit togethor and left. I then realized that the bush was not as clean as i had thought and that i was covered in dirt and had some twigs stuck in my hair.

Anyways I make it over to the train and I am sitting there getting ready to pass out again on the comparitivly soft train seats.

So just as i am about to fall asleep i hear these two valley girl accents. I awake and these two girls are getting on the train. Anyways they were like "omg where are you from blah blah".

For some reason i thought i would chat with them. Anyways they were from vancover and had got into a similar situation as myself. They messed up and missed thier train and ended up sleeping at this park which was about 3 blocks beyond where i had been looking.

Anyways while we are chatting the one was like oh i think you got something on your neck. I was like " what?". So anyways i touch my neck and sure enough this big ass SLUG was on my neck. Fucking gross. So i freaked out and made sure there was nothing else on me.

The girls suprisingly were not that freaked out by the whole thing. They said when they awoke the one girl had a slug on her nose. fricken gross!!!.

Anyways so i made my connection and got onto the subway. Having felt like i was homefree i thought i would close my eyes. When i awoke this nice train worker was motioning me to get off. Now when i got on the subway there was me and 4 other people, when i awoke i was surrounded by bussiness men and posh looking bussinessladies.

There is nothing worse then having slept outside still stinking from partying the night before and being surrounded by rich people while you look like a bum. Anyways I kept on thinking to myself " how did that train worker know which stop was mine?". I didint think much of it and got off and left the station.

When i was walking around i was like " WTF, this does not look anything like my nieghbourhood". So i thought perhaps i got out at the wrong exit and kept on walking around.

Finally i looked at the sign and i realized that the train worker didint know which stop was mine but rather that it was the end of the line and that we had passed my stop.

So this time now fully awake and having drank 2 coffees i made sure to stay awake so I would not miss my stop.

Anyways so i finally made it home and got some actual sleep.

If nothing else i got a little suprise which was that I only drank one of my companions last night and so might as well have that last tall boy now i suppose.

Swillyo Sano
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TRIBE Member
sano-san, you are mad funny.
am glad that you took the experience rather amusingly instead of getting pissed off :)

i envy you guys for having such gorgeous fall season right now though. toronto is getting colder each week, and am afraid that some places in ontario will get some snow in a few weeks...lol

enjoy tasty fall season foods that my home country offers, swilly san :) try some shabu shabu. very tasty !!


TRIBE Member
Way to represent the race in a foreign country! The Japanese might get the impression that native Canadians sleep in parks after drinking binges, or something.


TRIBE Member
lmao @ "Rawsons"

Ahh Japan, and it's excellent yet very confusing transit system.

You should've just camped out at Yoshinoya...isn't it 24 hours? I miss Yoshinoya :(


TRIBE Member
^^capsule hotels...

Swilly.. tough luck glad you made it eventually...

ps you totally could have had a threeway witht the valley girls...

and the slug part ... too funny.. better the neck than your nose..lol


TRIBE Member
Having just seen Napoleon Dynamite I'm getting some amusing associations reading the parts where ya say "fricken gross!!!."