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Survivor SPOILERS - Don't click if you don't want to know

SENSEi

TRIBE Promoter
Survivor outcome spoiled
Warning! This story may reveal All-Stars' biggest secrets
By KEVIN WILLIAMSON <mailto:kevin.williamson@calgarysun.com> -- Ottawa Sun
Bah! you cry. This is just more spoilerific gossip that ultimately proves false, you say. How dare we publish lies, lies and more lies.

And normally, skeptic that I am, I would agree that these are probably just the ramblings of a few nerds with time on their hands between Britney Spears downloads and Dungeons and Dragons marathons.

Except this particular nerd, whoever he or she or they are, correctly predicted that ex-navy SEAL Rudy Boesch would be booted off Thursday's episode.

Which, at least for now, lends this report some credibility. Certainly, if it proves accurate for the next two or three weeks, it will mark an unprecedented security fiasco.


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For now, take the following -- a list of who gets eliminated in descending order from next week until the super-sized finale -- with copious grains of salt.

* Jenna Morasca: The Amazon winner and Playboy pinup leaves the game next week after she learns her mother has died.

* Rob Cesternino: Considered the best player to never win, Amazon's mouthy geek will again be sent home packing.

* Jerri Manthey: Survivor's bad girl leaves with her forked tail between her legs.

* Susan Hawke: Lex and Shii-Ann join forces to clip this Hawke's wings.

* Ethan Zohn: Pretty-boy Ethan turns out to be the sissy we all knew him to be. No word on whether he cries during his exit.

* Richard Hatch: The uber-Survivor finds a boot in his flabby, naked ass in episode No. 8. Apparently Rupert calls Hatch "a pathetic shell of the Survivor I champion."

* Colby Donaldson: Donaldson heads back to Texas, as the merger happens.

* Lex Van den Berghe: Lex and his tattoos get rubbed out.

* Kathy Vavrick O'Brien: Kathy tries to create an old folks alliance. It doesn't work.

* Shii-Ann Huang: She thinks she's the Great Manipulator, but in the end, it's her back exhibiting a gigantic knife.

* Alicia Calaway: She's muscled out.

* Jenna Lewis: Jenna's departure reveals the makeup of the final four ...

* Rupert Boneham: A reportedly terrific episode ends in a tie with Rupert and Rob Mariano battling it out down to the wire. Unfortunately, Rupert is the one to go.

* Big Tom Buchanan: Rob wins immunity and takes Amber with him. So long, Tom.

* Amber Brkich and Rob Mariano: The cocky construction worker and babilicious Stuff cover girl comprise the final two -- but there's no word on which one of this unlikely alliance takes the $1-million prize.
 
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