As Always, these Office Pool Recaps are by my friend PB
Ok, and we’re off with the millionth season … or 30th. I have no idea how many seasons I’ve been writing recaps, but it’s been a lot. This season’s twist is to divvy up the cast by their job, kind of. Or their life philosophy. We’ve got white collar vs blue collar vs no collar, which means Jeff spends the first fifteen-twenty minutes blathering about office types vs working in the trenches vs I don’t know, weirdos? No collar really just seems to be whoever didn’t fit into the other two. Because law student & coconut vendor are not really on the same side or quadrant or whatever of the career continuum.
Here’s what I get from the intros: the white collars seem to be mostly jerks. I flash a lot on the brains tribe, the last time they had a three-tribe split. And given how much the brains tribe sucked, and how this episode plays out, this could bode equally poorly. But however badly the white collar tribe comes off, there’s an immediate winner for my least-favourite Survivor this year. It’s the idiot with feathers in his hair, who is sticking his tongue out in the back of the truck … to catch rain? Or maybe he’s a dog. Before the show, in his interview, Vince compared himself to Coach, and with the feathers, he actually seems to be going out of his way to both look and act like him. Who looks at Coach, especially in his first season, and says “Yeah, that’s my role model!” Given how Coach easily spawned my most epic rants, this could be a ‘good’ season. And the rants will begin early, don’t worry.
Moving on, after Jeff’s jabbering and a ton of stereotypes on all sides, the tribes choose two people each to make a decision. We get Will from the No Collars who is chosen because he’ll make them sandwiches(?!?). Really, that’s what he says. Will is described as a youtube sensation, which is not a job description in any world. He then picks Jenn as his second. Blue Collar has Dan the postal worker, who seems loud and abrasive. I’m not at all sure who his second is. Mike, maybe? And then Joaquin is the White Collar rep, and So volunteers to join him. Man, all the White Collars’ job descriptions are so unmemorable. Everybody goes to their camp, and then the two selectees go off to make their choice. The choice is between Honest (big bag of rice), and Deceive (small bag of rice and an idol clue). No Collar chooses honest immediately, and their tribe celebrates them as heroes. Blue Collar debates it, but they opt for honesty, thinking that it’s too early to go evil. But when they explain their choice, Sierra flat out doesn’t believe them, thinking that if it was really the big bag, it should be three times the size. Why not 10 times the size or 20? She’s an idiot. Finally, Joaquin immediately chooses deceive and talks So into it, even though she seems initially hesitant. But then she takes over in coming up with a ridiculous story to tell the others. They go with saying there were three options: Honest, Neutral and Deceive. And they chose Neutral, because, well, they don’t really have a good explanation for why they wouldn’t go with honest. Just some shady “consequences” threat. No-one believes them, at all. That will serve them well.
Blue Collar gets fire quickly, and then some guy (Mike again?) finds a scorpion and eats it. He cuts its tail off to avoid the poison, but is the poison exclusively in the tail? That seems like a risk not worth taking. Especially because it makes him violently sick.
And now we begin with Vince. Every time he’s in a one-on-one interview, he’s spouting something that makes him sound ridiculous. He tries to come across as a spiritually wise person spouting about self-actualization and living like a wave. But then he gets distracted by the young & pretty Jenn. He gets her to agree to an alliance and interviews that his weakness is “his intense attraction to women” and my stalker alarm goes off. Then, Vince gets into an argument over shelter construction with Joe. Vince doesn’t like Joe. Remember that.
Back to the Blue Collar tribe where Dan is yelling over the construction of the shelter. Then, he goes sullen and silent when asked for his opinion on the shelter. He thinks he can’t win when he gives his opinion or doesn’t. Which is true when you’re coming off like a jerk, either way. Dan is at least socially savvy enough to realize he’s in deep trouble.
Back to No Collar where Joe is making fire with Jenn’s help which mostly consists of her flirting casually. Vince, hanging around on the edges, is very unhappy and jealous which he phrases as questioning her loyalty, which is gross. Vince gets Jenn alone and asks if she is attracted to Joe. Jenn soothes his ruffled feathers, and Vince asks/demands a hug which he holds way too long. This whole thing is extremely creepy.
White Collar can’t make fire, but Carolyn has been watching So and Joaquin searching for the idol, so she looks herself. Having seen that they weren’t digging, she looks for a distinctive landmark and finds an “unusual tree”. And then she finds the immunity idol. She’s pleased.
On to the challenge which has the three teams going through an obstacle course and then picking one of three puzzles: a 5 piece puzzle to form a square, a 10 piece vertical puzzle making a tree, and a straightforward 50 piece puzzle which is supposed to be the easiest, but it’s 50 pieces. At the beginning of the obstacle course, one Survivor has a choice between searching through keys or untying knots. At first they all choose the keys, but then they all switch to the ropes. At this point White Collar is leading thanks to So’s work on the knots and then No Collar. No Collar then takes the lead at the puzzle and they choose the 10 piece tree. White Collar chooses the 50 piece puzzle, then Blue chooses the 10 piece. Joe, who did both the knots and the puzzle, wins the challenge for No Collar. Meanwhile, Shirin is terrible with the ‘easy’ puzzle and has to switch out. This allows Blue to pass them and win immunity too.
Back at camp, So is going after Carolyn and Caroline is going after So. It’s So/Joaquin against Shirin/Carolyn with Max and Tyler in the middle. Carolyn tells Max that she has the idol. At Tribal, So is still a terrible liar and she finally admits that Carolyn is being targeted. Which is bad because So doesn’t have the slightest clue that Carolyn has an idol. They vote, and Carolyn doesn’t play the idol which means she’s pretty sure which way this is going to go. And she’s right, So is booted out.
In the preview for next week, it looks like Nina (who is deaf) is being targeted by her tribe, so that won’t be awkward and unpleasant.
