So, hey, Survivor! The show ended, and I won no money. Good enough? No? Fine.
We open with a live bit with Jeff, and I do not like these at all. And therefore I will ignore them. And we get the recap of the season, and I do not recap recaps. Feel free to re-read what I’ve previously written, I’ll wait. Done? Ok. The real episode opens with Jon having just been voted out and the tribe returning to camp. Things seem ok at first, but then Jaclyn is shouting at Natalie, because Natalie said that Jon wasn’t loyal to a fault. Jaclyn disagrees. Loudly. The argument degenerates to the point that I have no idea what either of them is saying.
On to the next day where we have a challenge to earn an advantage in the next immunity challenge. I don’t like this as a concept, and wow, am I coming across as negative so far. Sorry! The challenge involves untangling a rope, building a bridge and knocking over blocks. Missy does not participate because of her bum leg. Keith get out to an insurmountable lead in the rope portion, and he is insurmounted (i.e. he wins). His reward is to practice on the apparatus he will be using in the immunity challenge. He can practice all day, as long as he doesn’t stop. Once he stops, it’s over. It certainly looks like he practices a great deal on this mousetrap thingy where he has to navigate little metal balls through obstacles using a series of paddles. And that advantage helps Keith to an easy immunity win. They have to navigate three balls through the course, and Keith finishes all three while no one else even gets halfway through the first ball.
Therefore, with Keith having immunity, the expectation is that Jaclyn is doomed. Jaclyn makes an appeal to Natalie to split up the last family pairing, and Natalie seems receptive. This seems risky to me, leaving Natalie open to some danger in the next vote. Also, it’s not like Missy & Baylor are particularly well liked. On to the tribal council where there’s some blather about trust and whatnot. They vote and after the vote, Natalie asks Jaclyn if she voted as she said she would. Jaclyn did and so Natalie plays her idol on Jaclyn’s behalf. Three votes for Jaclyn are eliminated and Baylor is out and there goes my (extremely limited) shot at the $. Missy isn’t thrilled but she doesn’t hold any hard feelings for Natalie.
On to the last immunity challenge which involves a big course to retrieve puzzle pieces and then a puzzle. Missy won’t take part in this either, making it a three-way race. Keith and Natalie have a huge lead at the puzzle, but Jaclyn sticks with it (even through a fall down a fireman’s pole)and burns through the puzzle, claiming the win. Good for her. On to tribal council and Jeff tries to stir up some controversy by having them say why the others should be voted out. Doesn’t really work though, but then Jeff asks Natalie whether she can win, and Natalie gives a very through case why she can win. Bear in mind this is immediately before the last vote where Natalie can be kicked out. She really should have been less honest. Anyway, it’s time to vote and Keith is eliminated, leaving an all-women final.
Now, it’s the requisite celebration of the finalists and their fancy last breakfast. Blah, blah, blah they’re so awesome, and on to the last tribal. Missy opens and she says she was loyal. (Except of course, when she wasn’t as Jeremy and Jon could both attest to). I do not like the ‘I played with integrity’ angle at the best of times because it usually means you just had someone else do the real work. Jaclyn talks about how much she’s overcome and how she was involved in all of the decisions with Jon (so that it doesn’t look like she has just coasted through). I don’t love this as a tactic either. Frankly, it’s quite obvious that Natalie should be winning this. And Natalie feels the same and says so in her opening statement. She outlines all she’s done and it is truly an impressive amount of gameplay. She even points out that she should have been voted out in the last vote if they knew what they were doing (which they didn’t).
On to the jury: Jon goes first (which is probably bad for Jaclyn, getting her biggest supporter out of the way first). He asks Jaclyn to talk about what she did and she makes a valiant effort at it. Keith is upset that Natalie lied to him (yeesh, whatever). Alec has Natalie admit her biggest move of the game, which she says was to get Alec out. I think Alec believes this is a compliment to him, when really she just thought that Keith would be easier to use to get rid of Jon because Keith was way better than Alec at immunity challenges. Anyway, shut up Alec. Baylor is proud of her mom. That’s nice, I guess. Josh asks Jaclyn if she got to the end on her own merit or through the play of better players. Jaclyn obviously says merit, and clearly Josh doesn’t believe that’s the case. Wes asks a dumb question about getting to play with their loved ones, not that Natalie did at all. Jeremy makes a plea that Natalie deserves the win as being clearly the best player. Finally, Reed gives an insane anti-Missy speech about her being the wicked stepmother of the tribe. It’s pretty pompous and gross, and I don’t even like Missy. We’ve seen this before where a juror has built this idea up that they are the hero of their own story and they’re going to call out the villain (in their own mind). It’s just as terrible here as it ever is. Baylor is in tears.
On to the vote, and it’s obvious that Jon will vote for Jaclyn and Baylor will vote for Missy. But then we see Reed vote for Jaclyn and I’m surprised, and left wondering if the obvious end is not in fact going to occur. The answer is no, the obvious does happen. 1 vote for Missy, 2 votes for Jaclyn and all the rest for Natalie.
Congratulations, and the right person clearly won.
Maybe Reed voted for Jaclyn just so that she’d get second place over Missy. Anyway that’s all she wrote. I skipped the reunion show, but apparently the next season will be three tribes split by white collar vs blue collar vs ‘no collar’. See you all next year!