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Suggested New National Motto - 'Philippines: Not Just Coup D'Etats Anymore!'

Baters

TRIBE Member
Before my very first trip here, 300 soldiers siezed a luxury hotel in the financial district of Manila in a failed coup. one of my colleagues happened to be staying at said hotel at the time and answered a knock on the door to find two armed soldiers asking if she wouldn't mind terribly packing up quickly and leaving as they were attempting to overthrow the government. she said they were very polite and actually helped carry some of her things to the lobbby.

fast forward to today where a number of said mutineers decided they didnt like being on trial anymore for treason and simply got up and left the courtroom and overtook another hotel here in Manila (which begs the question how much of this is wanting to overthrow the goverment and how much is wanting a very nice salmon fillet with a glass of chardonnay)

things here are never boring. to re-cap the last three weeks since i have been here:

1) a shooting outside my workplace at the 24 hour bar where they serve everyone including 14 year old armed gang members who desperately need target practice as nothing nor anyone was shot
2) a magnitude 6.0 earthquake which i mistook for a stroke
3) the former president convicted of mass plunder and corruption was pardoned and released from prison by the current president who is being accused of....plunder and corruption
4) a congressman was assasinated at the Philippines Congress by a remote control bomb
5) two typhoons including one named Lando which made me wonder if Jabba, Han and Padme are close behind
6) the goverment agreed to carve out a large chunk of the southern part of the country and give it to Muslim separitists

its never boring but WTF!? im terrified that for an encore i should be expecting locusts, metorites striking my apartment and in short armageddon. people say canada is boring but how do you compete with this shit?! and they just announced a curfew from 12-5 am starting tonight so that could kill my gigs this weekend if it keeps up :(

what other countrties experience this level of wackiness?
 

Baters

TRIBE Member
el presidente Highsteppa said:
Holy. Shit.

Dude. Write all this shit down. You have a potential bestseller if you can turn all these experiences into a manuscript.
Luckily I do quite a bit when I send letters home - this was my Hallowe'en experience which I e-mailed back to Canada:

________________________________________________________
so my trip to hong kong got postponed becuase of work, so i find
myself spending halloween weekend in the philippines which should be
interesting. you see, unlike the Japanese who oftentimes can get
holiday themes confused and distorted (someone told me a story of
being in a department store in japan and seeing a cross with Santa
Claus on it being crucified), filipinos for the most part have
holidays down. there are decorations everywhere, jack o'lanterns,
costume parties, the only real difference is that no one trick or
treats. this is likely a direct result of a) it being so similar to
pan handling, and if you dont give kids money then, why would you give
them candy now? and b) who wants their kid coming home with a giant
sack of pigs feet and day-old half-formed duck embryo's that they
won't share with you?

the real fun though starts the next day on all saints day, the day of
the dead. you may have seen pictures before from mexico where there
are parades and everyone dressed up like skeletons etc. here, a little
different. picture this.

you wake up in the morning. the kitchen smells of the aroma of
buk-buk, your late uncles favorite dish. you look in the gargage. 3
cases of beer. check. you make sure your ghetto blaster has batteries
so the music will be booming all night long. check. only one thing left to do and that is HEAD TO THE CEMETARY TO PARTY WITH YOUR DEAD RELATIVES.

thats right. the most happening nightspot this Monday night is the
local graveyards which will be crowded with drunk, dancing, hard-core
partying filipinos into the wee hours of the morning. the hot-dog vendors, ice-cream vendors, they're all coming too, because that bluk-bluk, its not for you, it will be left on your late uncles grave so he can remember the great aroma. there are people passed out on graves, dancing in crypts, its a sight that has got to be seen.

the obvious issue that I faced was I have no dead relatives in the phils and I really wanted to check this out. so, i was faced with the prospect of crashing one of these bashes. initially i was worried if i would i get kicked out, but it seemed to be in even worse bad taste to try and get invited......

Me: "Soooooo........both your grandparents still alive?"
Jingo "Huh?"
Me: "You know.........I mean.....have any passed away, I dunno like a
great-aunt or something?"
Jingo: "Well, my cousin was run over by a mad oxen last year"
Me: "Oh jeez. Gosh. That's just sad".
*pause*
Me: "Sooooo......you gonna go visit him on Monday? I mean if you are,
I could always tag along, you know for emotional support. If you
wanted.

yeah, bad scene. kind of like trying to rent a filipino midget to be your
leprechaun on st. patricks day. i am a horrible person.

so anyways i went. it was surreal but awesome. and as much as i would love to import this tradition to canada, i know it would only end in disaster and a headline in the local newspapers of "Sick Twisted Monster Desecrates Memory of Dead in Booze-Fuelled Graveyard Party"
 
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queen naeema

TRIBE Member
wasnt there some thing over there a few years back about all the scavenger people who lived in the manila city dump getting buried alive by some freak garbage landslide? what a way to go!
 
Baters said:
Luckily I do quite a bit when I send letters home - this was my Hallowe'en experience which I e-mailed back to Canada:

________________________________________________________
so my trip to hong kong got postponed becuase of work, so i find
myself spending halloween weekend in the philippines which should be
interesting. you see, unlike the Japanese who oftentimes can get
holiday themes confused and distorted (someone told me a story of
being in a department store in japan and seeing a cross with Santa
Claus on it being crucified), filipinos for the most part have
holidays down. there are decorations everywhere, jack o'lanterns,
costume parties, the only real difference is that no one trick or
treats. this is likely a direct result of a) it being so similar to
pan handling, and if you dont give kids money then, why would you give
them candy now? and b) who wants their kid coming home with a giant
sack of pigs feet and day-old half-formed duck embryo's that they
won't share with you?

the real fun though starts the next day on all saints day, the day of
the dead. you may have seen pictures before from mexico where there
are parades and everyone dressed up like skeletons etc. here, a little
different. picture this.

you wake up in the morning. the kitchen smells of the aroma of
buk-buk, your late uncles favorite dish. you look in the gargage. 3
cases of beer. check. you make sure your ghetto blaster has batteries
so the music will be booming all night long. check. only one thing left to do and that is HEAD TO THE CEMETARY TO PARTY WITH YOUR DEAD RELATIVES.

thats right. the most happening nightspot this Monday night is the
local graveyards which will be crowded with drunk, dancing, hard-core
partying filipinos into the wee hours of the morning. the hot-dog vendors, ice-cream vendors, they're all coming too, because that bluk-bluk, its not for you, it will be left on your late uncles grave so he can remember the great aroma. there are people passed out on graves, dancing in crypts, its a sight that has got to be seen.

the obvious issue that I faced was I have no dead relatives in the phils and I really wanted to check this out. so, i was faced with the prospect of crashing one of these bashes. initially i was worried if i would i get kicked out, but it seemed to be in even worse bad taste to try and get invited......

Me: "Soooooo........both your grandparents still alive?"
Jingo "Huh?"
Me: "You know.........I mean.....have any passed away, I dunno like a
great-aunt or something?"
Jingo: "Well, my cousin was run over by a mad oxen last year"
Me: "Oh jeez. Gosh. That's just sad".
*pause*
Me: "Sooooo......you gonna go visit him on Monday? I mean if you are,
I could always tag along, you know for emotional support. If you
wanted.

yeah, bad scene. kind of like trying to rent a filipino midget to be your
leprechaun on st. patricks day. i am a horrible person.

so anyways i went. it was surreal but awesome. and as much as i would love to import this tradition to canada, i know it would only end in disaster and a headline in the local newspapers of "Sick Twisted Monster Desecrates Memory of Dead in Booze-Fuelled Graveyard Party"
Well then what are you waiting for? ;) Kevin Smith manages to take his postings on View Askew and turns it into a freaking bestseller, just start grabbing those letters and get working on that memoir, Hemingway.

P.S. I want you to sign a copy when you publish it.
 

swilly

TRIBE Member
Ya i found yesterdays coup to be interesting if only for the local populations general lack of concern for it.

We were watching the whole thing unfold on the news in this hotel where we were training some staff on GIS. Everyone was really interested in it and were talking about the implications at least until we saw a rooster fly by the window(maybe 2 mins after turning on the news). Then everyone went outside to look at the chickens outside and pretty soon everyone forgot about the coup and we were talking about chickens and which place makes the best barbeque in the city and the upcoming cock fights and they were telling funny stories about chickens from their childhood.

In my mind I was thinking " hey I could be wrong but isnt there something important happening right now in Manila". But soon after i realized that watching chickens is pretty fun too and so i forgot about the whole thing as well.



hehehehhe
 

swilly

TRIBE Member
Baters said:
Luckily I do quite a bit when I send letters home - this was my Hallowe'en experience which I e-mailed back to Canada:

________________________________________________________
so my trip to hong kong got postponed becuase of work, so i find
myself spending halloween weekend in the philippines which should be
interesting. you see, unlike the Japanese who oftentimes can get
holiday themes confused and distorted (someone told me a story of
being in a department store in japan and seeing a cross with Santa
Claus on it being crucified), filipinos for the most part have
holidays down. there are decorations everywhere, jack o'lanterns,
costume parties, the only real difference is that no one trick or
treats. this is likely a direct result of a) it being so similar to
pan handling, and if you dont give kids money then, why would you give
them candy now? and b) who wants their kid coming home with a giant
sack of pigs feet and day-old half-formed duck embryo's that they
won't share with you?

the real fun though starts the next day on all saints day, the day of
the dead. you may have seen pictures before from mexico where there
are parades and everyone dressed up like skeletons etc. here, a little
different. picture this.

you wake up in the morning. the kitchen smells of the aroma of
buk-buk, your late uncles favorite dish. you look in the gargage. 3
cases of beer. check. you make sure your ghetto blaster has batteries
so the music will be booming all night long. check. only one thing left to do and that is HEAD TO THE CEMETARY TO PARTY WITH YOUR DEAD RELATIVES.

thats right. the most happening nightspot this Monday night is the
local graveyards which will be crowded with drunk, dancing, hard-core
partying filipinos into the wee hours of the morning. the hot-dog vendors, ice-cream vendors, they're all coming too, because that bluk-bluk, its not for you, it will be left on your late uncles grave so he can remember the great aroma. there are people passed out on graves, dancing in crypts, its a sight that has got to be seen.

the obvious issue that I faced was I have no dead relatives in the phils and I really wanted to check this out. so, i was faced with the prospect of crashing one of these bashes. initially i was worried if i would i get kicked out, but it seemed to be in even worse bad taste to try and get invited......

Me: "Soooooo........both your grandparents still alive?"
Jingo "Huh?"
Me: "You know.........I mean.....have any passed away, I dunno like a
great-aunt or something?"
Jingo: "Well, my cousin was run over by a mad oxen last year"
Me: "Oh jeez. Gosh. That's just sad".
*pause*
Me: "Sooooo......you gonna go visit him on Monday? I mean if you are,
I could always tag along, you know for emotional support. If you
wanted.

yeah, bad scene. kind of like trying to rent a filipino midget to be your
leprechaun on st. patricks day. i am a horrible person.

so anyways i went. it was surreal but awesome. and as much as i would love to import this tradition to canada, i know it would only end in disaster and a headline in the local newspapers of "Sick Twisted Monster Desecrates Memory of Dead in Booze-Fuelled Graveyard Party"

That story reminds me of when I was in cebu in the central part of the Philippines. My friend jun asked me to go to the hospital with him because his niece was sick. It was really difficult being there because this poor girl looked really sick and from a sickness(dengue fever) which in western countries would not be life threatening but here there was a very small chance she was going to survive.

After we left i sad i felt bad for him and I felt sorry about his niece.
His response" its no problem william. My brother has 9 children and unlike cows or motorcycles children dont cost so much to make. Hey I am kinda hungry do you feel like getting some barbeque?"

Me " Ok but this time, no more intestines bbq"
 
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