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Star Wars Episode 2 Reviewed

Discussion in 'TRIBE Main Forum' started by kyfe, Mar 20, 2002.

  1. kyfe

    kyfe TRIBE Member

    From www.aintitcool.com reviewed by Harry Knowles
    I know it's long but it's starwars this is only the first half of the review the rest can be read on the website....

    I saw Star Wars Episode Two: Attack of the Clones hours ago. The ‘how’ of that will be a thing of mystery buried in a passed piece of paper from my book signing with a hotel, a room number and a time listed upon it. You don’t want to know about that room or the person(s) in that room, you want to know about Episode Two.
    Jar Jar Binks. Jar Jar has a 15 second StepInFetchIt shuffle speak routine he does as he goes to first let Obi Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker into the Amidala’s quarters that is so offensively awful, that it will not only make you recoil in horror, but it will remind you of all of the worst aspects of his character from THE PHANTOM MENACE. I wanted to burn the film, destroy, maim and murder it at this stage. I was steeling myself from the impending incompetence, the horror of my childhood being molested. I was prepared to have a very bad time.
    I found myself not liking Anakin Skywalker at all, he’s a punk spoiled brat… A snotty nosed ego trip, that angry evil high school football quarterback that wants the head cheerleader. He whines like a Mark Hamill squealing about going to Toshi Station to get some power converters. There is much anger in him. He’s impulsive, conflicted, out of control and a mass murderer. Everytime I saw him and Natalie Portman together, I wanted to tell her to run, fly you fool. But am I not supposed to feel that way?
    So did George Lucas drop the ball? Did he rape our childhood? Has he turned into nothing more than flannel wearing toy salesman without a soul or an eye for storytelling anymore? Was I disappointed to such a state that I wanted to yell and scream and break my original 12 inch Boba Fett and defecate upon it in a ritualistic purging of all that was once sacred to my childhood?
    To answer all of those questions…. THANK GOD NO!!! Lucas succeeds with the film beyond my wildest dreams.
    I was scared and thrilled to be watching Episode 2. The entire time I was in that hotel room, I was convinced that agents of Lucasfilm were going to knock down the doors and I knew I was being set up for a fall. I mean, it isn’t possible to see STAR WARS early. I know that, but there I was watching it. Listening to the sounds of drunk SXSW revelers falling into the door outside.
    After about 20 minutes of that awareness everything but the film ceased to exist. The lights in the room dimmed in my mind. The person(s) in the room shrank like Scott Carey into the microverse. Everything about me was concentrating upon the film. The movie was not complete. There were moments where the effects were quite rough, but the work that was finished, was beyond reproach.
    How do I explain the success of ATTACK OF THE CLONES? First, I must say that this film makes THE PHANTOM MENACE a better film. In fact, I would have to say that not only does it do that, but suddenly you will realize with horror, exactly why Jar Jar Binks is in the series at all. Upon first viewing, in less than ideal circumstances, I must say that I feel that this is by far the most entertaining Star Wars film to date. It may not have that innocent sense of wonder for the first film. It doesn’t have that sense of intimacy that EMPIRE STRIKES BACK had, or that film’s desperation. However, it also doesn’t have the trivial frivolity of JEDI or MENACE. ATTACK OF THE CLONES is a turning point in the saga. The point of no return.
    I love this film desperately. I want to continually watch it for about a week with my best friends. I want to see it digitally projected with sternum shaking sound. I want to watch as friends discover the twists that Palpatine/Sidious/Dooku have in store for us. I want to have the conversations about what this all means, the speculative conversations about how these elements will play out in the final chapter of the prequels.
    What is great about the film?

    It's sounds like it could rival The Empire for best Movie in the series....

    Last edited: Mar 20, 2002
  2. Klubmasta Will

    Klubmasta Will TRIBE Member

  3. kyfe

    kyfe TRIBE Member

    Sorry about that Will, It's too late to edit....
    that's only the first half of the review.... so not all is spoiled....

  4. Klubmasta Will

    Klubmasta Will TRIBE Member

    i just assumed there were spoilers in it because i've been warned not to read harry knowles reviews.

    *covering my eyes and scrolling down* :p
  5. djcheezwhiz

    djcheezwhiz TRIBE Member

    Don't try to frighten us with your sorcerer's ways, Klubmasta :D "

    sean, be careful of the one who owns luke skywalker pajamas & an authentic kenner lightsabre :) but you're right it looks like a great movie...!!! i've heard it borrows a lot from bladeruner (as obiwan investigates the sith) & apparently has some of the best chase/action scenes ever in a star wars movie...

    cue the imperial march...

  6. kyfe

    kyfe TRIBE Member

    what about the return of the jedi or empire bedsheets???

  7. Klubmasta Will

    Klubmasta Will TRIBE Member


    as much as i joke about being a star wars nerd, my parents never bought me any of the toys or clothes. my toy lightsaber was actually a stick and i had to make the lightsaber noises with my mouth.

    i had to be content playing with richard king's toys. man, that kid was fucking spoiled.
  8. kyfe

    kyfe TRIBE Member

    I hear you will... although I did have an abundant amount ofr Star wars toys, my childhood best friend was spoiled rotter...the kid had everything which really pissed me off, but hey on the bright side it was more for me to play with... and when we play fought i made sure to get in a couple of cheap shots....

  9. Klubmasta Will

    Klubmasta Will TRIBE Member

    can't wait to see:

    - yoda's jedi powers

    - count dooku (a.k.a. darth tyrannus) who should rival vader and emperor palpatine as the greatest villain in the series

    - jango fett

    - the rumoured battle royale lightsabre fight involving anakin, obi-wan, mace windu, count dooku and another dark jedi

    the fansites are going wild ever since the harry knowles review came out. the marketing people at lucasfilm/fox are absolutely BRILLIANT. every time they release a tidbit (like the title, the n'sinc fiasco and now this questionable "review"), the internet community goes nuts.
  10. djcheezwhiz

    djcheezwhiz TRIBE Member

    only about 57/58 days to go...is dooku the christopher lee character??? i'm really looking forward to everything mentioned...this looks like a great movie...!!!

  11. Klubmasta Will

    Klubmasta Will TRIBE Member

    yup. count dooku was on the jedi council in THE PHANTOM MENACE. he's apparently evil though so something must turn him to the dark side. he's also supposed to have a fancy curved lightsabre.

    (don't want to post any spoilers - all of the above will be evident from the television commercials right before the movie opens.)
  12. kodos

    kodos TRIBE Member

    i have this remarkable ability to kill threads it seems.. too bad these kinds of powers do not a superhero make..
  13. kyfe

    kyfe TRIBE Member

    A limp Sabre? Poor Guy!

  14. silver1

    silver1 TRIBE Member

    After Phantom Menace came out and people bithced and whined about it sucking and GL ruining the SW franchise, I argued with EVERYONE that in hindsight, they were comparing TPM with the entire original trilogy and if you looked at ANH, not that much happened in it. We were simply introduced to people and had a nice little story to watch.

    I've been evangelizing that Clones would be the BIG movie in the series as ESB was the best in the trilogy because we learned the most from it, it was complex and it opened everything up in the SW universe for us (at the time).

    I also believe I said to you Will a few days after we saw TPM that I believed the Prequel, when all is said and done, would totally crush the original trilogy (in story quality etc.).

    I still stand by that.
  15. Rosey

    Rosey TRIBE Member

    i (still) have those. :D
  16. kyfe

    kyfe TRIBE Member

    I don't know exactly what to say to that:confused: LOL!

  17. silver1

    silver1 TRIBE Member

    Make them into Phat pants and sell them on Ebay for $100.
  18. xtollo

    xtollo TRIBE Member

    Is the May release going to be the same in the U.K or anywhere else in Europe for that matter? ahhh I'm gonna be across the pond for 3 months, I better get my god damn Star Wars fix, or someones gonna die.

    The pictures look amazing, and this review is mint. I LOVE YOU GEORGE LUCAS. I love TPM, I just hated Jar Jar. God!

    Love Jonathan
  19. Klubmasta Will

    Klubmasta Will TRIBE Member

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