Slut vs. Stud

[Temper Tantrum]

I know there are a lot of double standards within society today but this is one in particular that drives me absolutely nuts. Why is it that it is considered 'desirable' in general for men to have so many notches on their bedposts that they eradicate the damn thing and for women to be as asexual and virginal as possible?
why is a 'good' girl still the mother figure who if not ashamed of her sexuality seems to vitaly replace it?
Society sees the 'bad' girl as the temptress, the sex goddess. The one night stand the girl we fuck but do not bring home to meet our mother.
In this age of 'equality' why are women condoned for embracing their sexuality? If a guy has slept with 20 women he is considered a Cassanova, if a woman has she is a whore.

A person's sexuality is a natural and normal part of their identity that is far too often ignored as a whole by a society. In some ways by so repressing a blatant part of our selves we actually fixate unhealthily on it.

Don't judge people differently on sexual experience based on their gender. Fuck whoever and however many people you want in as many different positions and with as many different toys as you want it's none of my business.

t. tAnTrUm

 

[Bass-Invader]

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">
In this age of 'equality' why are women condoned for embracing their sexuality? If a guy has slept with 20 women he is considered a Cassanova, if a woman has she is a whore.
</font>

thats not necessarily true.
if a dude has slept with 20 women, and people know about it, they usually call him dirty.
He is considered a 'cassanova' by some because he got 20 women to sleep with him.

 

[KiX]

Just cause you're a slut doesn't mean you should take it out on society, Allie.

In all seriousness though, I agree, it's a fucked up system. For example.

Long story short, a friend of a friend of my roomates was really drunk, met some girl outside a bar, talked to her for 30 seconds, proceeded to make out with her, brought her up to my apartment where within 20 mins (after puking everywhere including in my bed during oral sex) they were having sex in my bathroom.

The girl was viciously attacked as being a slut, and perhaps rightly so. But when talking about the guy who was just as guilty as she was in the ordeal, if not moreso as he was the instigator.... they just laughed and said shit like "ahh what a joker." "haha he must have been so drunk", etc etc etc... NOTHING about him being dirty or a slut or anything.

That made me mad.

You can't judge the sluttiness of a person based on the numerical count of their sex lives. Someone can have had sex with 15 people but with decent reasons for sleeping with everyone of those people. On the same hand, someone could have slept with 3 people, and done it for "slutty" reasons (ie. cause you're drunk and there's a girl you don't know and a bathroom available).

And likewise, just because your moral standards may require things like love and commitment for you to have sex with someone, don't go judge others who may engage in sex in a more liberal way. Sex is a beautiful and life-enhancing experience if you approach it in the right mentality and at the right time with the right person, regardless of the surrounding circumstances. Only the two people involved can judge if it is infact appropriate for themselves.

=tina=

 

[subuser]

Guys can't get sex like most women can. For most girls, getting laid is easy. A sexy girl can walk up to practically any guy, and say "drop your pants" and no matter how shocked that guy is, he'll more than likely do it.
So, if a guy has numerous "notches" on his bedpost, he is admired because he has the know how, and the confidence to woo women. My friend, who's a guy, is a complete slut. I think it's dirty, and he should really get himself checked for disease, but at the same time I admire the fact that he has no problems when it comes to "pickin up chicks".

 

[Temper Tantrum]

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by KiX:
Just cause I'm a big fat slut whore doesn't mean you need to defend me like the good, loyal and dependal friend you are to society, Allie.

</font>

 

[SUNKIST]

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by KiX:
within 20 mins (after puking everywhere including in my bed during oral sex) they were having sex in my bathroom.

</font>

thats fucking gross...i feel sick just thinking about that..*shudder*..im sorry your bedroom had to experience that

 

[Bass-Invader]

ew why were they in your bed performing oral sex?

 

[Chiclet]

If your head is in the right place (no big self-esteem issues) and you're not hurting anyone (including yourself), then by all means, fuck whoever you want!

As much as it can be an empowering experience, it can be emotionally debilitating too... depending on your state of mind and self-image.

Sex is psychological.

 

[KiX]

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Bass-Invader:
ew why were they in your bed performing oral sex?</font>

Because I, being the kindhearted person i am, was in the kitchen making soup for another one of my roomate's friends. I had the door to my room closed, but they found their way in and started going at it.

Chiclet, couldn't have said it better.

=tina=

 

[Bass-Invader]

oh man... if they had did that to me.. oh man..so dead..like real life im going to jail dead...
that's like the one thing i cannot handle...

 

[Bass-Invader]

that and those stupid shopping carts for kids.

 

[Swamper]

My, what an innovative title.

 

[JimmyJam]

hrmm yes there are double standards. There's a lot of hero worship with guys...iono we're like go man go..I call some people I know manwhores for fun..they may call themselves sexually liberated...but really isn't based on really who? Someone with a bad rep can instantly add the label slut to anyone. It's a power thing too..good cars, women in each arm..its tribal..the need to spread your seed..its in the make up of it all..we all just grunt in manly approval

As far as choosing anyone based on their past histories...if I know someone I'm interested has been with a certain number of people and I know some of those people...then you can't but take it into huge account and feel a certain way depending on what they say. Your gonna feel inferior or superior..and they're expectations of you will probably be based on that number no matter what cicumstances the number is still the number. And the whole virginal thing...well its like...do u want a used car or a new one? people want to take the road less travelled.

As for parents and the fear of them meeting your possible experienced temptress who's conquered many..well parents just don't understand (hehe) mother would make a lovely marge simpson noise of dissaproval...and dad would probably nudge you in the gut saying way to go boy!

wow look at the time sleep now sex later much later

jj

 

[twist]

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Temper Tantrum:
Fuck whoever and however many people you want in as many different positions and with as many different toys as you want.
t. tAnTrUm</font>

PREACH ON SISTER!!!

I dunno anything about being a slut... I have a fair amount of sex but it's always been casual. I couldn't pick up a chick if the fate of the world depended on it. Allie's right though there is a pretty whopping double standard. I know a lot of guys that... well les jus say I'm surprised their dick hasn't rotted off. Manwhores are no better than their female counterpart.

I like lots of positions

 

[Chiclet]

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by JimmyJam:
And the whole virginal thing...well its like...do u want a used car or a new one? people want to take the road less travelled.
</font>

But we're talking about people here, not inaminate objects.

A car with a lot of mileage might be less of a car.

But a person whose had a lot of sex partners (mistakes or not), is no less of a person.

(Except maybe if you puke in a stranger's bed whilst having oral sex. Poor tina

)

 

[Gunark]

The biological/evolutionary explenation:

Men have an unlimited number of sperm. Women have a limited number of ova.

From an evolutionary point of view, it is benificial for men to "spread their seed" as widely as possible. For women, ova are limited, so females must be very selective about who they allow to fertilize their eggs. This is the biological source of all sexual conflict -- the two sexes have different and often opposing goals in reproduction.

Of course these biological reasons shouldn't really apply in the modern day and age. I mean we have contraception, culture, and of course we can control our own actions. You're right, I think it's totally unfair to hold this double standard. But sex is still a very primal thing, and it's still controlled mostly by those primal genetic drives. That's just the way we're wired up. Arguing against it is always going to be an uphill battle.

Please keep in mind that this is an explenation, NOT an excuse

 

[alexd]

I like to think of myself as a 'slud': not as lazy as a slug, but somewhere on the continuum between a slut and a stud.

How others see me is a matter of their perception and is really of no concern to me.

 

[Gunark]

alex, you ARE a slud.

 

[outofcontrol]

Very true in saying that there is a double standard....but the part that was said about woman being able to have sex pretty much whenever they want to is very very true...in the words of Eddie Murphy "woman control the pussy"... so when a guy is able to "get some" it's like a huge accomplishment. I think it's still lodged in our brains that men are more sexual them woman are ( which obviously isn't true) and a woman who is sexually premiscuous is dirty (again which is not nessecarily true)
Unfortunelty I think our society as a whole still hasn't excepted sex as a "non dirty word" so the idea of multiple parters is frowned apon...
that's just my idea of why perhaps there is a double standard...I MYSELF agree with what the other ladies were saying about how sex is a beautiful thing and should be explored...The amount of partners someone has had should not have a bearing on who that person is... maybe, JUST MAYBE that person ENJOYS sex and isn't afraid explore that part of themselves...

just my 2 cents

tony

 

[Nub!]

Right aboot now, any booty would be good booty.

Besides that, why let the faceless masses label you anything, and if they do, why care?

-=Nub=-

 

[MalGlo]

I think a lot of guys are sluts... i try to view them the same as i would view a grrl thats had sex with a large number of people.

in the end though it comes down to your own personal views and beliefs on it. for me sex is something special.... it is linked with an emotional thing for me on a greater scale, it seems, than some people i know. thats how i like it.

in the end.. its to each their own.. and to judge is merely to force your personal morals (or lack thereof) on someones else.

Dave

 

[Booty Bits]

for anyone like Temper Tantrum who wants to know more about the slut vs stud hypocrisy, read the book that Swamper posted.
it deals with this topic from a few different angles.
its very eye-opening, though not particularly well written.

 

[Ditto Much]

Lack of confidance plain and simple!!!!


If a guy has been with 20 women "obviously" hes good in the sack.

If a girl has been with twenty men she has 20 comparisons of better or worse.

Personally I can see this being wuite daunting to many of the less talented men out there

If a guy grabs a girls ass and she punches him square in the nose she was defeneding herself. If a gay guy comes up and grabs my ass and I punch him I'm a violent homophobe.

 

[Aphrodite]

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Ditto Much:
If a gay guy comes up and grabs my ass and I punch him I'm a violent homophobe.</font>

that's not true. at least i don't think like that.

 

[statira]

Promiscuities by Naomi Wolf is also a good book if you want to read more about the issue...

ang