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Slumlord Millionaire

Jeffsus

TRIBE Member
Ah, there are all these laws in place to protect the "tenant", the "renter", the "boarder".

Great. That's fine and all.

But where are the laws protecting the landlord, the investor, the responsible person whose name is on all the papers?

Yes, adventurous young lady who wants to step out of daddy's house, there is a place for you. Pay the rent.

Yes, unemployed home jockey who has no direction besides his gramma, pay the rent.

Yes, fully able lady who collects ODSP, get a job, and pay the rent.

As every hour goes by, I'm getting less and less happy.

-jM
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Jeffsus

TRIBE Member
Well today moves on and to all you renters I'm sort of giving a big "fuck you" because you live in a non-commital money adverse "nowhere" which is great for you but terrible for the people who try to bring some stability to the world.

By "people" I mean the ones whose names are on the papers.

Ah yes, the care free days, "Oh this is a nice place I'd like to live here for a moment"

I was there too, once.

and so on.

-jM
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Blysspluss

TRIBE Member
Even with all of those laws, I've had so many bad landlords that don't follow anything. Hell, the roof in our last apartment leaked for well over a year. Did it ever get fixed? No. We had birds living in the walls. It took almost 2 years to get them removed. There were so many more issues in that place.

But when there's nowhere else to rent in town, you take it, and you live there...even if you are mistreated. Laws don't do shit-all to enforce regular reasonable maintenance on Landlords.

So it works both ways.
 

Jeffsus

TRIBE Member
Even with all of those laws, I've had so many bad landlords that don't follow anything. Hell, the roof in our last apartment leaked for well over a year. Did it ever get fixed? No. We had birds living in the walls. It took almost 2 years to get them removed. There were so many more issues in that place.

But when there's nowhere else to rent in town, you take it, and you live there...even if you are mistreated. Laws don't do shit-all to enforce regular reasonable maintenance on Landlords.

So it works both ways.

And so? You expect just because you're a tennant that the world should revolve around you?

you> "Oh look at me! I have no commitment and I pay next to nothing but damn I expect some luxury!"

Yes, "issues" exist because you don't make enough money to buy your own place or fix it up. So, you're stuck with "issues" because you're fucking poor and want to live in Toronto somewhere; somewhere where a landower has enough money to put up with your bitching.

-jM
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Blysspluss

TRIBE Member
Poppycock. Has little to do with my income. I've moved around a fair bit and it makes no sense to purchase a home if I don't stay for 8+ years. I've done the math.

And no, I don't want to live in Toronto at the moment. Saskatoon is just fine for now. Who knows where I'll go later on? If I stay here and plan on staying longer, I'll look into buying a place.

Not sure where this myth of home ownership started, but it isn't for everyone.
 
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Jeffsus

TRIBE Member
One of the few things my boss and I have in common, is that we both rent out places in real estate that we own. And our tennants drive us nuts.

Oh oh, not because they leave their shit all over, or not because they don't clean. Not because they take 120 degree baths every day or whatever.

No, it's because they can't fathom the fact that every 1st of the month, they have to pay rent.

I've had some tennants around for 5 years. They always try this, not so interesting, trick. They'll underpay the rent by $50, $100, sometimes $200, and say of course "Well I'll pay you the rest tomorrow." And tomorrow comes and then of course they say "Well, I'll pay you $25, $50, $100, but you have to come get it".

renters> "Oh my bank machine only lets me withdaw $400 at a time"
me> "You've known this for a very long time."

renters> "Oh I couldn't make it to the bank at 6am but I'll do it at 9am"
me> "Yeah, you mean, when I'm at work?"

renters> "Oh I meant to pay you but my insurance money was taken out."
me> "Because that's the first time you paid insurance, right."

I guess what I'm saying, is I offer affordable rental arrangements, which the financially challenged ask for, and they end up screwing me over. So no wonder this offer isn't offered generally. I should be an asshole slumlord millionaire. Fuck gentrification, I *AM* gentrification.

-jM
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Jeffsus

TRIBE Member
Why are all the laws against us?
I try to help a kid, make him sign the papers, what happens.

What happens?

He threatens to kill me, and when that's not enough, he threatens to kill me in my sleep. And when that's still not enough he threatens my guests. And still, not enough, well, he's gonna burn down my house.

The crown prosecutor had a hayday with this case. So did the judge. I showed up ambivalent, knowing that the other witness would not care, or be capable of, to show.

The poor kid doesn't need any more problems than he already has. So I showed in a tank top, bathing suit, and flip flops.

Any crown attorneys reading this? Because here is my major interest.

Before I "testified" (read etymology), they asked me if I would like to swear on the Koran, The Bible, or just do a, you know, whatever swear.

Hey philosophers, lawyers, and all you who have a brain about you, what would happen if I swore upon the Koran? Does that invalidate everything I say?

I was so stunned by the question, I really had no idea that a "real" country like Canada would ask such a stupid question and then, in light of their stupid question, only have three answers:

1. Bible (didn't bother to check if it's st. james or other sour flavour)
2. Koran (yeah fuck your sister there are many ways to spell it)
3. "The truth" hah, weird? given my first two options

So anyway, if for whatever reason, an individual attacks you and your guest with a small blunt sword sharpened on both sides and is inclined to burn down your house, DON'T WORRY... just bring a blanket and remember, even if the cop is on your side, the judge isn't.

-jM
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Jeffsus

TRIBE Member
I'm sure there are a few slumlord Millionairres out there like me.

The people have clogged their own sink, the dishes pile up, because, ostensibly,
the pipe is clogged.

So I say

tennant> "Hey the pipe is clogged."
me> "Well what did you put down it?"
tennant> "Nothing man, we put two bottle of Drain-O and it didn't help."
me> "Did you plunge it?"
tennant> "yeah."
other tennant> "It's dripping into my house."

etc. etc. etc.

I showed up to a disgusting mess and, I'm not a plumber, but I fixed the problem in less than 9 minutes.

Is this what hiring managers mean by "a problem solver?" Like, to exclude grungy boy-cries-wolf mess?

jksdfksdhf

-jM
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