Single

[KillaLadY]

So I am single... not that anyone cares... but yeah. After 3 years of being used and being treated like shit, I have been dumped. Again... it's not like I haven't learnt my lesson the first time.

It hurts, but you know... I know I deserve better, I don't deserve to cry everyday.

 

[Lil'Timmy]

If someone, or whoever has been treating you like shit for 3 years, then this is for the best.

Cheer up. I know how you feel, and you just got to take a deep breath and keep on goin.

It sucks, but if life were simple, what fun would that be?

 

[poker face]

Honestly!

Summer is coming and it is time for a new start, trust me you are going to have the best summer you have had in the past 3 years!

And no one needs to be trated like shit for 3 years!

 

[Rosey]

i'm sure there are plenty of guys (or girls) who would be happy and feel priviledged to treat you well - don't settle for less than you deserve!

 

[CC]

single aint so bad. i kind of like it now. i was bitter for a while but now i enjoy not being hassled. if something amazing hits me in the face, i'll take it. i'd say that unless it's an amazing relationship, it's not worth being in it.

shawn

 

[Cheeka]

KillaLady I am deeming this - "the summer of YOU!"
live it up sweetie - it sounds like it's well deserved!!

 

[SpazGirl]

I'm single & I love it right now - live it up & party with your friends - they are most important & I think meeting new people & getting out will also help you get over it.
I dated a guy for awhile & the whole time I was depressed & I finally ended it & I felt relieved. Its not worth it.

Jill

 

[KillaLadY]

Thank you everyone. It feels like a giant weight has been lifted up my shoulders... it hurts, because I put so much effort into this. Honestly, I was the one that did the work for both of us. The worst part of it is that he dumped me before... on our anniversary, while he was eating at CN Tower (my treat). And I was stupid enough to believed that he changed.

This time, he dumped me while he was playing games on the computer. I asked him nicely to stop playing for a second and talk to me maturely about this. He said not to bother him. I asked him why he doesn't want to be with me and he said that's the way he feels, no particular reason.

A week ago, he asked me to change his greeting on his answering machine with my voice and I told him I will do it sometime. When I decided to do it last Monday, I entered his mailbox and it said: "one new message, first message..." and it went dirrectly into the message... and I heard a girl leaving a message to him. I never heard of her and I am assuming he picked her up on a week-end. I was hurt, but I trusted him. I felt bad, because I don't like to listen to other people's voice messages... but I had a bad feeling about it.

He got really mad that I listened to his voicemail and he decided not to be with me anymore. I didn't understand why he was so mad, I mean... I trust him and if that would happen to me, I would understand he didn't mean to and I would explain who that person is. But he decided to use that as an excuse to dump me...

We were going to get engaged... and eventually get married. I was the one that spent most of the money and I even helped him to get a car. Then most of most of the after-market parts on that car... I bought them. I spent about $5000 on his car... mind you, I have no car. No wonder I never had money.

I am hurt, because I am dissapointed... I also lost most of my friends, because I wanted to spend as much time as I can with him (my mistake).
I am scared... to be alone.

 

[Che]

Don't be scared...like the mighty Cheeka said (wise girl), this is YOUR time. Get to know yourself better, do a little introspection. What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses? Why have relationships failed in the past? What will make them work in the future?

From what you described about this guy he sounds like a jerk and you really don't deserve that if you are aware of the fact that he treated you so badly. Meet new people, try new things, expand your horizons.

There's only one life you live...YOURS

 

[kerouacdude]

Don't be scared of being alone....that's why so many people end up in crappy marriages. You're going to learn a lot more about yourself being alone than you will spending much energy and money on someone else, even if they were deserving of it, let alone this case.

And in the end you'll learn what you want and don't want and not to settle in the future...I don't know how old you are but I don't think the meaning of life is to weld your identity to someone else's for so long...there's so much in life to experience, and when you're world becomes just one boy/girl, it's limiting....

 

[Cheeka]

aww sweetie don't be afraid.
It is intimidating at first but once you rediscover all the great reasons there is to be single again (and there is so SO many !!)... you will be a much happier person then you were.
It sounds like you were in a horrible relationship and he was really bringing you down.
This is probably a blessing in disguise

Plus its summer!!! what better time to be single and have fun then now?
Its all about YOU now - so take advantage of it and make yourself happy !!
Its a lot easier then you think... you will be suprised how quickly you adjust and how much happier you will be!!

 

[Lil'Timmy]

This guy sounds like the biggest fucktard to walk the planet.

Screw him. As Cheeka has claimed, go out there and party, it's the summer dammit!

P.S. If you see him driving the car, don't be afraid pop a little dent in the side...hey you paid for it right?

 

[KillaLadY]

Don't get me wrong guys/girls... I have started spending time with myself. I started this "spring cleaning" with my life at the beginning of the year.

I guess he saw that and he couldn't handle it. I started to read books... go to museum, I decided to go back to school, I started working out, feeling good about myself. My life does not depend on him in any way. I am stronger now than I was when he first dumped me, that's for sure.

I can see it in myself and I can see my determination for succeeding in life. For the fact that I will NOT settle for less anymore. I know why this relationship failed... or better say, it was going to fail anyway, but I fought hard for a lost cause. I tried to believe that he is someone that in fact... he isn't.

Have you ever heard of the wrong person at the right time? That's pretty much it... I thought he was IT and tried to make myself believe that. I also tried to make myself believe that he will ask me to marry me (like he said he would in couple of years) and I tried to make myself believe that my purpose in life is him. But I think that lying to myself really got to me and I couldn't handle it anymore.

I don't know why I said I am scared to be alone... I think that was my first reaction.

EDIT: Oh yeah, I am 22.
I don't even want to think about his car and his crap... he can enjoy his car and his gifts for all I care. I know I can get that for myself... bigger and better. It's not about material stuff... actually, it was to him.

 

[Rosey]

Originally posted by Lil'Timmy
This guy sounds like the biggest fucktard to walk the planet.

Screw him. As Cheeka has claimed, go out there and party, it's the summer dammit!

P.S. If you see him driving the car, don't be afraid pop a little dent in the side...hey you paid for it right?

HAHAHAAHA good call.

that guy sounds like a total loser with no respect for you.
'change my answering machine message.' what kind of fucking halfwit can't change his own message? and then he asks g/f to do it?

you bought parts for his car?

perhaps you need to be single for a while. don't let people use you like that. be strong!

 

[daddyiwantchocolate]

Being single this summer will probably turn out to be the best thing to happen to you

HAVE FUN!

 

[KillaLadY]

He wanted to have something different on his answering machine... and I suggested I can put my voice in it as a joke. He agreed to it and I was a little happy to see that he would want my voice there.

But the happiness didn't really last that long...

Thanks guys... I will have fun and enjoy myself. I will treat it as a lesson learnt... a very expensive one though. Ruined credit, maxed credit cards... broke... I am sure I will get back on track though.

I have to.

 

[The Watcher]

Sweetheart,... You are free to be happy and now he cannot let you down anymore. Think of the weight that has been lifted, you dont have to care about someone that wasn't worth caring for anyway.

I know you are going to find that life is so much better without him. Get together with friends that appreciate you for who you are and start having fun with your life.

If you need someone that you have something in common with, I'm sure that with all the wonderful people of Tribe, someone can help.

And hey, if you are feeling down and out, just know, even though we might of never met, you have a friend in me.

-Nick - Single and Lovin it

 

[KillaLadY]

Thank you, Nick.

Thank you everyone for the great replies. I have always doubted
I was so wrapped up in that illusion, I forgot that there are so many great people out there that want to make me happy without asking for anything in return. Not like I don't return it anyway... but I don't want to feel obligated to do it... like he made me do that.

I remember, if he bought me a chocolate, or did something for me... he would rub it in my face with: "See, I do thinks for you, so don't complain or tell me I don't."

I would look at him and say: "I never complained about anything you did for me, I just wanted to talk to you if there was something that I felt it needed an answer" And he would say: "oh, shut up with your phylosophy crap... you think you are so perfect"... and he would make me cry.

Then couple of days later, he would promise not to make me cry and try and control his temper. He got mad at me all the time...

Ugh... I am sad again...

 

[The Watcher]

You know, if you have nothing but bad memories of your ex, why think of him at all?

Right Now there is no reason to be sad and a million reasons to be happy.

Chin up Darling, Think Positive, and BE HAPPY!

-Nick

 

[KillaLadY]

I will do so.

Thank you and we'll keep in touch. Maybe buy you a coffee for the nice advice... woooo, look at me already! heheh j/k

Thanks again.

 

[The Watcher]

Maybe I should buy you the coffee, I think you deserve it.

-Nick

 

[dj Red Turtle]

Originally posted by KillaLadY
a very expensive one though. Ruined credit, maxed credit cards... broke... I am sure I will get back on track though.

I have to.

I can relate. My ex was shit too. Cheated on me. When we finally broke up she still owed me like $500. I just call it a write off and an expensive lesson learnt. What will we be without these experiences. Cheer up girl. Spring is here.


Kev

 

[tobywan]

KillaLady....as Cheeka said with her great Seinfeld reference, this IS your time

And like others have said, keep positive, and enjoy all the good things in your life....food and shelter, friends and family that care, and live with no regrets.

carpe diem

Bias

p.s. check your pm box.

 

[KillaLadY]

VERY expensive lesson learnt.

When I was crying yesterday on my friend's shoulder, I was saying how I want to find a way to just move on right away and just leave everything behind... and stop crying.

I am not sad right now, but I really wish I would stop thinking about everything.

 

[Chris]

I don't know much about your current situation, but from the brief sounds of it, it sounds like your better off.

The hardest part is the beginning, your in it right now, reflection of what happened, and what went wrong, etc. Biggest thing is don't worry, be yourself, positive, and spend time with friends that you haven't and family, they will understand, because chances are, they have probably gone through a break-up before as well. We all have. Don't look at as time lost or anything like that. But a learning experience, from your post, it sounds like you have learned quite a bit of what your looking for, obviously this guy wasn't it.

Sounds so cheesy, but soon all will be well and you will get through the day without feeling...well...blah...but happy with just being you. It will happen, just take time. Break-ups are shite because they are just that, break-ups.

But thats just me
ChrisD