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Should a guy pay for a woman on a date?

Discussion in 'TRIBE Main Forum' started by Old Stradlater, Oct 7, 2005.

  1. Old Stradlater

    Old Stradlater TRIBE Member

    I feel that a guy should generally pay for the girl on a date. It's not sexist, or saying the woman is inferior. It's just romantic and should be done. I think if a guy likes a girl, his instinct should be that protective one of wanting to take care of her. I don't think this says the woman is "less" than the man. If anything, it's saying "this chick is so amazing I want to do things for her".


    I recently had a discussion with another male who says he would never ever pay for a girl on a date, or buy her drinks at the bar and that everything should be "dutch" all the time. He then said for a guy to want to pay for the girl means different "roles" and that the girl wants to receive and the guy has to give.


    Is this guy progressive? Or a cheap bastard using feminism as an excuse for his patheticness?
     
  2. Old Stradlater

    Old Stradlater TRIBE Member

    Here is a transcript of our conversation.

    I am "Pusse Skannar"

    He is the other guy:


    Cheapass:
    but you think men should pay for drinks in bars
    Pusse Skannar says:
    You = fuckin emo faggot cheapass loser
    Pusse Skannar says:
    no i dont
    Pusse Skannar says:
    i think
    Pusse Skannar says:
    if a guy asks a girl out on a date
    Pusse Skannar says:
    that he likes
    Pusse Skannar says:
    he should want to pay
    Cheapass:
    so you're sexist then
    Cheapass:
    you admit it
    Cheapass:
    you believe that men and women should have different roles
    Pusse Skannar says:
    wow lets hide behind feminism as an excuse to be a fucking pathetic cheap loser
    Cheapass:
    that men should provide and women receive
    Cheapass:
    well, no one else agrees with you except smalltown skanks luckily
     
  3. xtcfreak

    xtcfreak TRIBE Member

    I usually offer to pay on the first date, any time after, if the girl offers, by all means. If she wants to split, thats fine too.

    Jay
     
  4. Old Stradlater

    Old Stradlater TRIBE Member

    Ok but generally, once you have gotten into a serious relationship, is it not normal for the guy to want to pay for a lot of the dinners or the things that you do when you go out together?
     
  5. Hamza

    Hamza TRIBE Member

    depends on who you are dating and where you are in life in terms of financial stability.
     
  6. wayne kenoff

    wayne kenoff TRIBE Member

    I always offer to pay, but if my date has a job, I expect her to refuse on a somewhat regular basis (maybe 1 out of 3?). Otherwise I may suspect she's a mooch.
     
  7. Polymorph

    Polymorph TRIBE Member

    ummm.... . bites his tongue....
     
  8. Old Stradlater

    Old Stradlater TRIBE Member

    Bites tonge about what??


    Anyways, well yeah the girl should definitely offer to pay sometimes. I just was wondering if it is really sexist for me to want to "take care of my woman" for lack of a better term, or if this guy is just a fucking idiot?

    I really don't think that when a guy goes to pay for a girl he is thinking he is above her, or she is just a woman, or any other sort of sexist thoughts, I think it's because he really likes her no?
     
  9. Polymorph

    Polymorph TRIBE Member

    a better situation is if you're going out on a long evening date, say, dinner, then a show, guy buys tickets for show, girl picks up tab for dinner... that actually seems to work really well (especially if the tix for shows are super-expensive)...

    actually, flux back and forth re: who pays. Not really 'dutch'.... that just works best.
     
  10. Old Stradlater

    Old Stradlater TRIBE Member

    Right see so you still agree the guy would be paying more though...

    I don't know...I usually offer to pay for the girl for most of the things and I've never been taken advantage of so whatever. It's nice and its romantic and thats it. People just read too much into stuff and some people have taken feminism way too far.
     
  11. unique2100

    unique2100 TRIBE Promoter

    A Guy should always pay on a first date, aside from that; I'd say depends on the people...















    ...


















    ...


























    ... "[​IMG]'s on the people" :D
     
  12. Polymorph

    Polymorph TRIBE Member

    not necessarilly. But you have a good situation when it goes back and forth like that and it's not so 'planned'.
     
  13. ndrwrld

    ndrwrld TRIBE Member

    to answer your question...
    no.
     
  14. that 420 guy

    that 420 guy TRIBE Member

    if things are going well, i normally pay for dinner (sneakily on a trip to the bathroom). when i return, i let my date know that i had an amazing time and would love to do dinner again (which hopefully they agree to). as we get up to leave, i let them know that i paid for dinner, and that the next dinner would be on their tab. that gives them the opportunity to decide when and where they'd like to take me for dinner, seeing as i normally suggest our first dinner date spot (which is almost always zelda's in the village).

    dutch, but spread across two dates :D

    chivalry ain't dead, it just smells funny. don't ask someone to do anything that you aren't willing to do yourself...including pay for dinner (or have dinner bought for you).

    - that doesn't date much guy [​IMG]
     
  15. Old Stradlater

    Old Stradlater TRIBE Member

    That's not very romantic dude....unless you're dating guys??
     
  16. ndrwrld

    ndrwrld TRIBE Member

    you must be new.
     
  17. Krzysiu

    Krzysiu TRIBE Member

    if it was me asking out the person, I would pay.
     
  18. echootje

    echootje TRIBE Member

  19. unique2100

    unique2100 TRIBE Promoter

  20. Deus

    Deus TRIBE Member

    I know some women like to say that they don't need a guy to pay for their meal because they're modern women and can afford it themselves. But I think there is something deep in their biology that cannot be erased by mere cultural movements. When a man pays for dinner it doesn't just say that "I care about you", but it sends a fundamental message to the evolutionary subconscious of the female. What it says is: My evolutionary fitness is high enough that I can afford your meal. My intelligence has allowed me to get a good job and make enough money to be able to buy you your dinner. I'm smart. Therefore, you should date me again because I have good genes, and I know that you're looking for good genes because you want your children to have good genes too, and make lots of money like me. Being a man I only want to propagate my genes and paying for your food will tell you that I have good genes, and therefore you will want to have sex with me."

    So basically, paying for the food doesn't say "this chick is so amazing I want to do things for her", it says "this chick is so hot, I want her to do things for me", mainly spread her legs.

    Oh... women are so easily fooled.
     
  21. Old Stradlater

    Old Stradlater TRIBE Member

    Is that picture meant to represent sexism and that the girl is "below" the guy because she is less than him and sitting on the ground?


    Or is it meant to show that it is progressive and feminist because the guy has taken the chair, instead of doing the chivalrous thing by giving the lady the seat?
     
  22. Michlerish

    Michlerish Well-Known TRIBEr

    If a guy doesn't offer to pay the whole tab on the first date, I'm turned off and probably wouldn't want a second date.

    That said, I hate people paying for me or buying me things or even lending me money... but it's the offer of these things from someone that counts. So, if the dating/relationship continues, everything will most likely be pretty even.


    And guys, if you can't afford, or don't want to spend to spend a lot on all these first dates... just take her out for drinks or something short/small.


    Also, in the case where girl and guy both had a bad time on the first date, I definitely think the bill should be split.
     
  23. octo

    octo TRIBE Member

    i don't think a guy should be "generally" expected to pay.

    the traditional role of provider is no longer the sole domain of the man and so the guy should not be expected to pay all the time.

    i'm pretty sure my girl and i take turns picking up the dinner tab. even if it doesn't balance out i don't mind cause she always offers to pay even if she knows i'm not going to let her.

    what do gay/lesbian couples do?
     
  24. Michlerish

    Michlerish Well-Known TRIBEr

    In other words; Your friend would rather receive?
     
  25. that 420 guy

    that 420 guy TRIBE Member

    does it make a difference that they had already agreed to a second date before i let them know i paid for dinner? hmmm...maybe that's why i'm still single ;)

    - that 5 years and counting guy [​IMG]
     

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