~*...sacrifice or compromise...*~

[that 420 guy]

in a relationship, how do you differentiate between sacrifice and compromise?

sometimes at the beginning of any relationship, we are willing to move on certain issues cause in comparison to the joy and elation of being with that special someone those compromises are more than worth it. they don't necessarily seem like deal breakers until later on in the game, until they become sacrifices. from something as simple as your partner needs complete darkness and silence to sleep and you like blacklights and beats to no blowjobs cause they don't like it, differences can snowball into something larger than you ever imagined.

is there a difference between compromise and sacrifice? when does compromise turn into sacrifice?

- that hey, why'd you move the bath mat over there? guy

 

[BigBadBaldy]

Sacrifice is totally giving something up, where a compromise is two people meeting at a half-way point.

Where's the confusion?

If you are making sacrifices or compromises in a relationship, don't be an ass about it, either. Nothing worse than someone giving something up for you whether a one-shot or long term and then throwing it in your face or resenting you for it. If you do make sacrifices, I think it's important for them to come from a place of love, rather than what you think you might get from it.

 

[Eclectic]

Compromise = Both parties happy in the end.

Sacrifice = One person happy, One unhappy.

 

[BigBadBaldy]

I disagree. Someone can sacrifice something and still be happy.

Depends on the context.

 

[Aerius Zension]

Compromise is some trival diff between those in the relationship, whereas sacrifice involves a greater loss of something to benefit the other party.

Sacrifice usually benefits one, whereas compromise benefits both. I wouldn't say one person unhappy, cause you can be happy thru the other person's happiness, but not to the same level if you hadn't sacrificed.

 

[chooch]

sometimes it is compatibility issues too...the way you each see things...so, letting go of your attachment to a particular way of things being is, as BBB said a compromise that is made by both parties. it gets messy if you are the only one who is making moves for the other.

 

[sk8]

I agree with BBB

and i don't think in sacrifice the person giving it up should be unhappy - if one person is going to sacrifice something then it should be out of the realization that you are making the other person happy and out of love - so you are not necessarily unhappy at the end of it. And the other person has to make sure they properly appreciate what is happening.

both comprimise and sacrifice are a part of every relationship and should be equal on both sides.

 

[Evil Dynovac]

When you are in love there is no sacrifice or compromise, there is healthy change on both parts.

 

[JEMZ]

Originally posted by that 420 guy

no blowjobs cause they don't like it,

[/B]

I like blowjobs.

 

[Agatka8]

I guess compromise leaves you with a feeling of balance and fairness.
Sacrifice on the other hand is one sided. You do it out of the goodness of your heart.... not necessary with any balance in mind.

 

[DJAlchemy]

yeah if you're gonna sacrifice something, then make sure you're cool with it. Its like when you tell someone "don't worry about it, I don't care." You better not fuckin care cause I'm not gonna worry about it!

It buggs me when I'm in a relationship and my partner isn't willing to compromise. Obviously there are going to be lifestyle differences between the two of you and its part of communication and understanding that should be present in a relationship. Not being able to compromise is like saying "The way I feel is more important then the way you feel."

side note: whut up with all these love/relaionship threads? Is the new year making everyone re-asses their goals and happiness? (not that its a bad thing, just curious)

Peas & carrots. D

 

[Agatka8]

Originally posted by DJAlchemy

side note: whut up with all these love/relaionship threads? Is the new year making everyone re-asses their goals and happiness? (not that its a bad thing, just curious)

Peas & carrots. D

I know.... it's not even spring yet!

 

[BigBadBaldy]

Example:

As a 12 year old boy, my parents' marriage dissolved very messily with complications of chronic alcoholism and emotional abuse. My "mother" quit drinking after hitting her own rock-bottom. My older "brother" had already been kicked out of the house for criminal activites, my mother had been left by her husband for her best friend, and I was left to choose which parent I was going to live with.

I examined the situation and quickly came to think that given her current state and all that had been lost by her recently, if I went to live with my "father" (which was what I really wanted to do, I disliked my "mother" a bit, which would only grow in later years) I thought she would probably kill herself. Losing your whole family in one fell swoop while trying to recover and deal with your alcohol problem at the same time? (She was also recovering from a fall down our basement stairs which led to her stopping drinking.) Knowing her the way I did, it didn't seem like a rosy proposition.

So I chose to stay with her, not out of desire or for my own happiness, but because I knew it would be best for her, no matter how much I didn't want to. I ended up staying with her until I was 17 years old. Our relationship grew worse and worse, until events unfolded that grew into a real and lasting hatred that lingers to this day.

Never once did I tell her the sacrifice I made for her. Even when things got really bad between us and I could have thrown it in her face for some kind of personal leverage, I kept it to myself.

Why? Because it was my choice. I sacrificed my personal happiness for years for the difference of what I honestly believed was her life.

Just an example.

BBB.

Parents appear in quotations due to their adoptive nature.

 

[~Loress~]

Originally posted by that 420 guy


no blowjobs cause they don't like it

If my man didn't like going downtown then there would be no relationship! What a perfect way to fall asleep at night!

 

[Agatka8]

Re: Re: ~*...sacrifice or compromise...*~

Originally posted by ~Loress~

If my man didn't like going downtown then there would be no relationship! What a perfect way to fall asleep at night!

OMG... you can fall alseep to that!!

 

[that 420 guy]

Re: Re: ~*...sacrifice or compromise...*~

Originally posted by ~Loress~

Originally posted by that 420 guy
If my man didn't like going downtown then there would be no relationship! What a perfect way to fall asleep at night!

ever hear of guys who won't go down on girls cause its shameful and looked down upon by their other male peers? saw it on the sopranos once, then actually had a friend experience it. wierd.

and yes, head is a great way to fall asleep...even better when the giver has their tongue pierced

- that don't ask your partner to do something you wouldn't do yourself guy

 

[~Loress~]

Re: Re: Re: ~*...sacrifice or compromise...*~

Originally posted by Agatka8
OMG... you can fall alseep to that!!

like a baby... after I'm *ahem* finished ofcourse .... then its lights out for Lori! <drooling may occur>


~Lori

 

[janiecakes]

Originally posted by BigBadBaldy
Example:

As a 12 year old boy...

what a huge decision for a 12 year old boy to have to make.

 

[BigBadBaldy]

The repercussions were big too, as my father ended up sliding further into alcoholism and illness, eventually killing himself. I always wondered what difference I would have made in his life if I had chosen to go with him instead.

Maybe none, maybe some. Ifs and maybes mean nothing.

 

[JMan]

If it feels like sacrifice and you can't live with a given scenario, then that's what it is. If you can't get past it, you should bail. If you can get past it, stick it out. The mistake many folks make I think is sticking it out and then feeling resentment. If you decide you can live with the sacrifice/comprimise, stop thinking about it and move one. If you can't, bring it up and then bail if need be.

J

 

[vinder]

Originally posted by that 420 guy
in a relationship, how do you differentiate between sacrifice and compromise?

sometimes at the beginning of any relationship, we are willing to move on certain issues cause in comparison to the joy and elation of being with that special someone those compromises are more than worth it. they don't necessarily seem like deal breakers until later on in the game, until they become sacrifices. from something as simple as your partner needs complete darkness and silence to sleep and you like blacklights and beats to no blowjobs cause they don't like it, differences can snowball into something larger than you ever imagined.

is there a difference between compromise and sacrifice? when does compromise turn into sacrifice?

- that hey, why'd you move the bath mat over there? guy

haha, didn't get a solid answer last night!?

compromise: you want to
sacrifice: you don't but you do anyway

 

[JMan]

Re: Re: ~*...sacrifice or compromise...*~

Originally posted by JEMZ
I like blowjobs.

Speaking for the straight crew, most chicks can't give head to save their lives. Unless she reeeeeally loves to do it, she probably hasn't mastered the art, and therefore it's not that huge a sacrifice IMO.

J

 

[that 420 guy]

Re: Re: ~*...sacrifice or compromise...*~

Originally posted by vinder
haha, didn't get a solid answer last night!

no i didn't. so when are we gettin our corn rows and going to oak leaf baths? come on vinderloo, you know you wanna.

- that fresh guy

 

[vinder]

Re: Re: Re: ~*...sacrifice or compromise...*~

Originally posted by that 420 guy
no i didn't. so when are we gettin our corn rows and going to oak leaf baths? come on vinderloo, you know you wanna.

- that fresh guy

wasn't there a third thing in between? shit i forgot already, damn healthy food!

 

[pr0nstar]

Re: Re: Re: ~*...sacrifice or compromise...*~

Originally posted by JMan
Speaking for the straight crew, most chicks can't give head to save their lives. Unless she reeeeeally loves to do it, she probably hasn't mastered the art, and therefore it's not that huge a sacrifice IMO.

J

Yes... can't stand a bad blow job

pr0nstar