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Retirement....the right way


TRIBE Member
got this from my step mother it is from an e-mail she sent me, and I told her we would be keel haulin her ass the minute she even gets dizzy....but this may be the more humane way


About 2 years ago my wife and I were on a cruise through the western Mediterranean aboard a Princess liner. At dinner we noticed an elderly lady sitting alone along the rail of the grand stairway in the main dining room. I also noticed that all the staff, ships officers, waiters, busboys, etc., all seemed very familiar with this lady. I asked our waiter who the lady was, expecting to be told that she owned the line, but he said he only knew that she had been on board for the last four cruises, back-to-back.

As we left the dining room one evening I caught her eye and stopped to say hello. We chatted and I said, “I understand you've been on this ship for the last four cruises."

She replied, "Yes, that's true."

I stated, "I don't understand" and she replied, without a pause, "It's cheaper than a nursing home."

So, there will be no nursing home in my future.

When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a Princess Cruise Ship. The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked on reservations on a Princess and I can get a long term discount and senior discount price of $135 per day. That leaves $65 a day for:

1. Gratuities which will only be $10 per day.

2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the restaurant, or I can have room service (which means I can have breakfast-in-bed every day of the week).

3. Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers, and shows every night.

4. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.

5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.

6. I will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days.

7. T.V. broken? Light bulb needs changing? Need to have the mattress replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize for your inconvenience.

8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't even have to ask for them.

9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on Medicare; if you fall and break a hip on the Princess ship they will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

Now hold on for the best! Do you want to see South America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia, or name where you want to go?

Princess will have a ship ready to go. So don't look for me in a nursing home, just call shore to ship.

And don't forget, when you die, they just dump you over the side -- at no charge.
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TRIBE Member
Just forwarded that to all of my colleagues.
They're now rebudgeting retirement, and adjusting their retirement dates. lol


TRIBE Member
quantumize said:
sounds like a plan
that or i just boot my dad off of his yacht and become a pirate

they are selling their house, and moving onto the yacht full time, in the winter they will travel the islands...i want to do that
me and my bro get first pic on the loot from the house though, and i am eyeing the big screen and bar, brian wants the humidors....LOL...good ruck ratso
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TRIBE Member
quantumize said:
i cant wait to retire

i can allocate my investments and get into day trading for the excitment
or get the reverse mortgage and fuck your kids over

love when this hour has 22 mins does that skit...so damn funny