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Replacements for Lenny Wilkens...

Discussion in 'TRIBE Main Forum' started by justin surdit, Mar 22, 2002.

  1. justin surdit

    justin surdit TRIBE Member

    here's a few scenarios for you - my buddy made these up and emailed them to me - it thought it was some pretty good stuff for original material (I wish I could say that I thought of them)....

    SCENARIO 1 - Beavis and Butthead are apponited as new coaches of the Raptors - here is there inaugaral (sp?) speech to the team at the first practice:

    BUTTHEAD: uh, like i'm your new coach, or something. uhh huh huh......you guys suck....huhhuh huh....stop sucking so much huh huh
    BEAVIS: yeah you suck!
    BUTTHEAD: uhhhhhhh start winning, dammit! you guys piss me off already, huhuh......if you dont score 100 points every game, then we dont get any free pizza. ....huhhhuh free pizza kicks ass.
    BUTTHEAD: uhhhhhh ok, like lets go get 100 ponts, or like something. even if you lose, its ok, because we get pizza. that would be cool huh huh
    BEAVIS Pizza.........ooooh yeah...... pizza
    BUTTHEAD: Uhhhhh ok? ummmm huh huh now stop being such a bunch of assmunches, and like go win some games, dammit!!

    SCENARIO 2: Same situation, just replace Beavis & Butthead with Mr. Macky from SouthPark, and it would probably sound a little something like this:

    Mr. MACKY: hello, everyone, mkay?? I'm gonna be your coach now, mkay, lenny has packed up and fucked off, mkay.

    Here's the new plan, mkay, you must check all your vaccuums and straws at the door, so you won't suck anymore, mkay?

    we will turn your sucking into baskets, mkay?

    instead of turnovers, bricks and 24 second violations, mkay, we'll turn them all into baskets, mkay??

    Drive the lane, mkay, look before passing, mkay, get more rebounds, and stop sucking, mkay? its easy, mkay!!

    SINGS: you can do it, its all up to you , mkay
    with a little help you can change your game today,
    stop sucking ass and throwing up bricks,
    start winning games and scoring with chicks
    follow these steps and very soon you will say
    its easy mkay!!!!!its easy mmkaaaaaayyyyy

    As far as I'm concerned this is comedy gold - anyone else out there think of a replacement coach for the Raptors??
    Last edited: Mar 22, 2002
  2. noahmintz

    noahmintz TRIBE Member

    Bill Lambier!!!!!!!!!
    The best player in NBA history is the only alternative for a coach!
    Maybe he would even wear his face mask while he coached

  3. Big League Chu

    Big League Chu TRIBE Member

  4. ViShiS*

    ViShiS* TRIBE Member

    A wet towel.

    Seriously, Van Gundy would be great.
  5. Rosey

    Rosey TRIBE Member

    two towels, three balls for practice and a new waterbottle....that'd be sweet.
  6. eco.R1

    eco.R1 TRIBE Member


    There is no substitute.
  7. vench

    vench TRIBE Promoter



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