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Replacements for Lenny Wilkens...

justin surdit

TRIBE Member
here's a few scenarios for you - my buddy made these up and emailed them to me - it thought it was some pretty good stuff for original material (I wish I could say that I thought of them)....

SCENARIO 1 - Beavis and Butthead are apponited as new coaches of the Raptors - here is there inaugaral (sp?) speech to the team at the first practice:

BUTTHEAD: uh, like i'm your new coach, or something. uhh huh huh......you guys suck....huhhuh huh....stop sucking so much huh huh
BEAVIS: yeah you suck!
BUTTHEAD: uhhhhhhh start winning, dammit! you guys piss me off already, huhuh......if you dont score 100 points every game, then we dont get any free pizza. ....huhhhuh free pizza kicks ass.
BUTTHEAD: uhhhhhh ok, like lets go get 100 ponts, or like something. even if you lose, its ok, because we get pizza. that would be cool huh huh
BEAVIS Pizza.........ooooh yeah...... pizza
BUTTHEAD: Uhhhhh ok? ummmm huh huh now stop being such a bunch of assmunches, and like go win some games, dammit!!

SCENARIO 2: Same situation, just replace Beavis & Butthead with Mr. Macky from SouthPark, and it would probably sound a little something like this:

Mr. MACKY: hello, everyone, mkay?? I'm gonna be your coach now, mkay, lenny has packed up and fucked off, mkay.

Here's the new plan, mkay, you must check all your vaccuums and straws at the door, so you won't suck anymore, mkay?

we will turn your sucking into baskets, mkay?

instead of turnovers, bricks and 24 second violations, mkay, we'll turn them all into baskets, mkay??

Drive the lane, mkay, look before passing, mkay, get more rebounds, and stop sucking, mkay? its easy, mkay!!

SINGS: you can do it, its all up to you , mkay
with a little help you can change your game today,
stop sucking ass and throwing up bricks,
start winning games and scoring with chicks
follow these steps and very soon you will say
its easy mkay!!!!!its easy mmkaaaaaayyyyy

As far as I'm concerned this is comedy gold - anyone else out there think of a replacement coach for the Raptors??
Last edited:
Alex D. from TRIBE on Utility Room


TRIBE Member
Bill Lambier!!!!!!!!!
The best player in NBA history is the only alternative for a coach!
Maybe he would even wear his face mask while he coached

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