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Relationship Question ~ Help!

Shockwave

TRIBE Member
Alright here we go - I feel kinda weird posting it on here but I'd like to see what others think.

So I've been dating this girl for 5 months or so now. We get along great, we laugh all the time, we enjoy each others company all of the time. Everything is perfect, EXCEPT:

She has an ex who wants her back. Which is fine, not her fault. They are trying to be friends, which I still have no problem with (even though I know it is hard to work out). The only thing that bothers me is that I know she lies to me about talking to him. For example when he came up a week ago, she said "He hasn't called in ages, I guess he hates me" Then last night she was looking through her answered calls and I saw his #. "I thought he hasn't called you?" I asked. "He did but I didn't answer" was her response. I mean come on, they have answered calls and missed calls seperate for a reason.

The other thing is once she was unsure if she had to work or not, and later on that night I called her at work (which is common) and her manager told me she wasn't there. Later that night she called me and said she was at work, to which I said I knew she wasn't cause her boss told me she wasn't. Then she told me she was at dinner with her ex cause it was her birthday.

Part of me hates myself for not already branding her a liar and cheater and dumping her a**, the other part of me is hesitant to jump to conclusions. I hate accusing her of anything cause I am trying not to be jealous, but its hard to trust someone who has lied to you previously.I know she often tells little white lies because it's the easiest thing to do, but I have repeated over and over to her that all I want is her to be honest with me.

So, what should I do? It's driving me nuts.
 
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Zorro

TRIBE Member
END IT NOW.

Once the lies start they never end. Plus she's not over him.
Cut the ties learn your lesson (whatever it is) and move on.
 

rejenerate

TRIBE Member
Dump her. If you don't trust her now, you never will. Liars are losers and the relationships tend to be disasters.
 

marcinm

TRIBE Member
first of all.. the ex is like school on sundays... ie. "no class".. if he knows about you, why is he trying?

second of all.. honesty is important.. and if she's hiding stuff from you.. forget it.. worst case scenario, she's cheating on you with her ex.

so you should just probably break up with her and quit wasting your time and "feelings".. there's for sure other cool girls out there for you :)
 
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junglegirl

TRIBE Member
I would say end it. I know how hard that can be but if you don't trust her now it will be hard to trust her later. Even a little white lie can cause big hurt...

I fucking HATE liars
 

Libradragon

TRIBE Promoter
door. your ass. out!

likel
sorry, but this could be the beginning of a long, arduous emotional rollercoaster that will most likey end in a crash. :(
 

lucky1

TRIBE Member
Have you had the "lets be exclusive" talk?

IF yes than do yourself a favour and dumnp her. No one wants to be wandering all the time what the truth is.
 
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Dr Funk MD

TRIBE Promoter
Tell her to start being straight with you or it's splitsville. If you honestly don't mind her seeing the ex on friendly terms then tell her it's alright so she won't feel like she has to lie to you. If she keeps lying to you then you know that she's doing something that's more then friendly.
 

zoo

TRIBE Member
if she's lying to you to spend time with this guy, it's totally unnacceptable

tell her what you know, how you feel, and ask her if she wants to resolve this or if she wants to keep lying to you
 

Muad'ib

Well-Known TRIBEr
She seems to be lying quite a bit, after five months you don't need that. She wants the best of both worlds, so don't let her have it. Break it off, she isn't worth it.

ps- you are not being jealous without reason, she seems to be inciting it, perhaps that is what she wants.
 

sweet_e

TRIBE Member
Get rid of her ASAP.

Dont even bother listening to any excuses. If you dont have a probelm with them being friends and she is still lying to you about it, then obviously she is hiding something. My guess is that she still has feelings for him and chances are there is still something going on there. You dont want to get involved in this situation.

Believe me from experience this isnt worth the ensuing bullshit.

Sweet_e
 

mingster

TRIBE Member
Originally posted by Dr Funk MD
Tell her to start being straight with you or it's splitsville. If you honestly don't mind her seeing the ex on friendly terms then tell her it's alright so she won't feel like she has to lie to you. If she keeps lying to you then you know that she's doing something that's more then friendly.


that's good advice.
 
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Shockwave

TRIBE Member
Originally posted by lucky1
Have you had the "lets be exclusive" talk?

IF yes than do yourself a favour and dumnp her. No one wants to be wandering all the time what the truth is.


Oh yeah, we have. We're exclusive all the way. She keeps insisting that nothing is going on between them and that she's over him, but then I ask why the f**k she hids crap from me than.

And I agree with the person who said he's got no class, who mows other people's grass and still has any pride in themselves???
 

zoo

TRIBE Member
Originally posted by Shockwave
but then I ask why the f**k she hids crap from me than.

have you asked HER why she hides crap from YOU ?




p.s sounds like her ex is a regular john deere
 
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pr0nstar

TRIBE Member
Sorry, but if someone told me they were at work, and I found out later they were on a dinner date with someone else, ex or not.

I'd be very pissed.

Why not just say, I'm going on a date with so and so...

Relationships are built on trust.
This is obviously a trust issue.

The rest is up to you. Is it worth it.
And will she continue to lie about her where-abouts.

pr0nstar
 

littlenutty

TRIBE Member
leave her. you have to.

i was once in the exact same position once. and it hurt like hell. if someone is in the position where they are lying to you to spend time with their ex there's a huge problem there. believe me i let it go and it was such a stupid mistake. i don't know why i put up with behaviour like that. then the trust issues start.. 'if you lie about that then what else do you lie to me about?'.... and so on...

If it makes you feel better it doesn't mean you and her can never be together, it just means right now she is very imature and is disrespecting you. You deserve better than that. when she grows up a bit and learns how to be in a relationship then maybe she'll see that what she was going isn't cool and you can try again then...

good luck :)
 

Shockwave

TRIBE Member
Originally posted by zoo
have you asked HER why she hides crap from YOU ?




p.s sounds like her ex is a regular john deere


Yes, badsically whenever I bring this up she gets all pissy and angry at me as if I'm being jealous. Now that I think about it I don't even think I really got a straight answer. Once she said she does it cause she knows it bothers me to hear she's talking to him. Which is true, but I don't accuse her of anything, obviously I'm not going to be happy when her ex is buying her valnetine's day gifts!
 
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