Ramblings on the past year...

[R4V4G3D_SKU11S]

I have had myself one pretty fucked up year.

I've learned a large amount in the past year about myself and my actions. Looking back at how I was at the start of the year, I thought that I knew what I had in my life. However it turned out that this picture was a bit of an illusion, and I only had myself to blame for creating and perpetuating it. My actions have consequences and a conscious effort needs to be made to not only live up to these consequences, but to learn from them. This sounds rudimentary but it is something that no one can deny struggling with. I'm not usually one to do too much reflection on the past, but as this year of my life comes to an end, I'm really trying to pull together the consequences I've faced and lessons I've learned. I finally feel that through this reflection over the past two weeks, that I have broken through any illusions I was holding onto and taken control of my life/actions. I have a list of priorities and goals that are reachable and that excite me. I have gained a deeper appreciation for the people who surround me - and that I am so lucky to have them. You take relationships with people in life for granted and that can lead to a devaluation of them. I've realized that the people that I have in my life are perfect for me and I need to go out of my way to treat them as such. If I can hold onto this standard of relationships to my last days, I'm in for a good life. I've learned that I need to take care of myself - and that means making conscious decisions which don't harm myself or where I currently stand in life. The most valuable skill that I've learned this year is how to truly live in the moment. It is something that so many people try to emulate, however it really is something that is very rare. It's something that I cherish and am able to hold with me at all times. It's allowed me to not settle for the illusions I was holding onto and take control of every aspect of my life.

I have a feeling the next year will be the best one yet for me.

So what have you learned about yourself this year?

 

[zoo]

I learned that I forgot how good grilled cheese sandwiches and dill pickles went together.

 

[pr0nstar]

Originally posted by basic
So what have you learned about yourself this year?

Too much and I'm at a cross road in my life.
I'm only moving forward, but truly at a loss where to exactly.

I have short term goals and that's about it.
I feel like my life is on pause.

A lot of great things and a lot of bad things happened in 2003.
It'll be a year to remember for years to come that's for sure.

pr0nstar

 

[sugar]

Kevin, this brought tears to my eyes.

Going through hardship is universal, but actually learning from it, becoming aware of yourself, and in turn becoming a better person for it is rare.

I admire your courage to look into yourself. We could all do with more self-reflection, and you are a great example

 

[sugar]

Originally posted by basic
So what have you learned about yourself this year?

I have learned that I still have so much to learn about myself.

I went back into therapy for the first time in 3 years, initially just for a temporary shoulder to cry on to help me cope with a loved-one's problems, and realised I still had a lot of my own unresolved issues to deal with. We can all benefit from the assistance of a trained professional, whether we are mentally ill, or just looking to become more in touch with ourselves. I would recommend this to everyone!

Everyone: go see a headshrinker! You'll feel so much better!

 

[Littlest Hobo]

This has been one shitty year for family and friends.

What have I learnt? Like the Monty Python song goes, always look on the bright side of life. I also learnt I lead an incredibly charmed existence, nothing really bad happens to me, I have everything I want. I am very grateful for that

It could be a lot worse, so enjoy yourself now.

Oh, that and I'm going to more Hulla's .

 

[R4V4G3D_SKU11S]

Originally posted by Littlest Hobo

Oh, that and I'm going to more Hulla's .

I learned that too!

Back to going to every single one!

 

[Littlest Hobo]

Originally posted by basic
I learned that too!

Back to going to every single one!

You = smart.

I'm a nu-raver!!!

Alright, I'll stop hijacking now... great thread Kevin.

 

[KillaLadY]

I learnt that people are all different and I have to accept them for who they are and not try to change them.

I learnt that life is previous and never take anything for granted, becauseone day, it may all be gone.

I learnt that even if bad things happen, they happen for a reason and I have to learn from them and grow.

 

[Lil'Timmy]

I;ve learned the true meaning of "Strength through Adversity" because there have been plenty of bumps in the road.

But hey I'm alive and kickin, so the outlook is bright

Bring on 2004!

 

[tobywan]

Career wise, the year started off on a high note, and has stayed consistent for the year...after finishing college a couple years ago, finally solidified myself in a respectable position...didn't do NEAR the amount of *work* related travelling that I did in 2002, but I didn't mind the change.

In regards to relationships/love/etc...I went thru one hell of a learning experience, and have taken a "cautiously optimistic" approach when dealing with members of the opposite sex...

And my sister got married, which left a large impact on me, and my views of marriage, etc...she's only a couple years older than me, but at a much different stage than I am...she's settled, and content where she is...but I know that things are only getting started for me, and I don't see myself settling for years...

Overall, 2003 was a great year...started horribly, but got better and better as the months went on, and it's looking to end on an amazing high.

T.O.B'

 

[Adam]

I've moved on from teen/student angst to serious mid-20's existential angst. Not to be cynical, angst is normal and healthy I think.

I've realized I don't know anything about the world. How it works, what the point is, whether Omega 3 eggs are really worth the extra 20 cents, etc. But I'm not depressed by that. It's kind of freeing.

The world is a joke and fairly pointless, so might as well have fun and make other people laugh.

 

[PosTMOd]

Originally in the other 2003 thread...

My Life as a Mattress

Look at me.

I am a mattress, as you can see.

Look inside: individual coil springs, pulled together with strange wires, covered in some sort-of-silky cloth, with a pattern of frikkin' flowers. Sometimes fully made, with nice cotton sheets presented to the world. You can't push down on one side without the whole thing shifting, cause and effect, action and consequence.

In 2003, the fat guy got off (I didn't even realize he was on me), and it's taking some time for the mattress to regain its shape. In 2003, the belt on the suitcase snapped, spilling dirty old laundry all over the place (I didn't realize that baggage was there).

In 2003, a lot of weight was lifted off of me. Please excuse the mess while I put on some fresh sheets.

(Thanks fat guy for getting off! You were suppressing me!)

 

[mcbee]

Originally posted by basic
If I can hold onto this standard of relationships to my last days, I'm in for a good life.

me too

as with kevin, my last year has been quite tumultous as well. i've learned a shitload about myself, and about my life. i've learned.....

1) my friends and family love me so much and i'm so lucky to have a life filled with such wonderful people. this can change in an instance, so i need to show my love for them constantly. i truly am blessed with such incredible people in my life.

2) live for the moment. its all you truly have and its a waste to not enjoy each moment you are given.

3) my inner strength is far greater than i ever thought. i can handle the weight of the world on my shoulders and still manage to smile a little bit.

4) kitty cats make you feel better. everyone should get a kitty to love and it will love you back. its the greatest.

5) my relationship with kevin is completely true and nothing will break us. any shit that comes our way, we can handle. and we can handle it together, with love, openness and honesty. i love you kevin and i look forward to 2004!

sarah<---- a bit teary as well

 

[mcbee]

Re: Re: Ramblings on the past year...

Originally posted by sugar
I went back into therapy for the first time in 3 years, initially just for a temporary shoulder to cry on to help me cope with a loved-one's problems, and realised I still had a lot of my own unresolved issues to deal with. We can all benefit from the assistance of a trained professional, whether we are mentally ill, or just looking to become more in touch with ourselves. I would recommend this to everyone!

same thing with me!

sarah

 

[Littlest Hobo]

Re: Re: Ramblings on the past year...

Originally posted by mcbee
4) kitty cats make you feel better. everyone should get a kitty to love and it will love you back. its the greatest.

Unless that kitty shits on everything, then you want want to smite her off the balcony. But it was just a little separation anxiety - and her way of saying "I meowlove you.".

poop free for 1 month!

 

[mcbee]

Originally posted by Littlest Hobo

Oh, that and I'm going to more Hulla's .

me too!!

saturday was very eyeopening!!

sarah

 

[tablist]

2003 was a bag of shit, and it just got even stinkier yesterday. Looks like I'm going to one of many people in my department to be laid off. Right before christmas too. Fuck. I better get the new job that I applied for.

2004 owes me for 2003 being so bad.

 

[deep]

2003 has been a long year for me. Not long as in bad, long as in when I think about it, a lot of stuff happened, much was accomplished, many things changed.

 

[LivingRoomPornstar]

I think quite a few of us have endured some heavy challenges this year.

This year for me has been an extremely trying year for money. I've had to recondition myself into a much more conservative spender, which has meant that in the short term, I've had to give up quite a bit of my social life. I thought moving to Midtown meant I was going to see my friends more(to a small extent it has). Since I'm paying double the amount I used to pay in rent, its actually meant that i go out significantly less. The worst part about this is that I felt like a bad friend(from a perception standpoint) because on many occasions I've had to refuse invitations for nights out because money was tight. The last thing I wanted anyone to think was that I no longer valued their company.

Careerwise, I've never had it better. I'm doing extremely well, I love the people I work with, and I see really good things happening on the horizon. I've learned that challenging yourself on a daily basis is the only way you achieve fulfillment.

As for love, well, it hasn't gone well for me for the last couple of years it seems. There's been some fun, but every time something remotely profound rears its head, something gets in the way. I still feel good about it all in general. When the time comes, i'll know it.

2004 looks to be my year for a little self-education and career advancement, and who knows, maybe she's just around the corner.

Good on ya Kevo. I hope to see you soon!

Dan

 

[Booty Bits]

2003 was a humbling year for me.
i had to accept that i wasn't going to get what i wanted *right now* and if i ever want to get it, i'm gonna have to bust my ass alot harder than i currently feel cut out to do.
it was a year of disappointment.

 

[jebac]

you fool! grilled cheese sandwiches go best with ketchup!

-jebac

 

[Pyrovitae]

2003 has been an interesting year and although it's been great in many respects it's also been an incredible challenge.

i finally feel that financially i'm on track - 0 credit card debt, 100% of my tuition financed so far on my own and i've started a meagre savings. i'm proud of the fact that i've gone back to school and although i'm not an 'academic' per se i'm doing well in the world of academia.

i feel fortunate to have travelled a bit, with more adventures to come, and i also feel fortunate to have met someone with whom i feel i profound connection with despite the distance between us...

at the same time, the distance causes me more heartache than i ever thought imaginable.

right now, at this very moment, i feel slightly discouraged. i know where i want to go and what i want to do with my life but it feels like it's going to take eons to get there. i feel that at the age of 26 i should be a lot more accomplished than i actually am, and that i've just been meandering along for years, squandering my potential. i've always been fairly good at everything but never excelled at one particular thing and it's been a constant journey to find 'my' path.

i'm looking forward to what 2004 will bring.

 

[kmac]

Originally posted by tablist
2003 was a bag of shit, and it just got even stinkier yesterday. Looks like I'm going to one of many people in my department to be laid off. Right before christmas too. Fuck. I better get the new job that I applied for.

2004 owes me for 2003 being so bad.

That sucks. Sorry to hear that.

I've learned:

a) If I want my life to change, I have to change.
b) Anything done in the dark will eventually come to light.

 

[Aphrodite]

Well, for me, something finally clicked with school. I went back in September hoping I'd get into it. well for the first time I wasn't procrastinating(too bad) or insecure or depressed. I was outgoing and enthusiastic and I chatted it up with all my teachers and peers. I got into new methods and exceeded course requirments.

But most of all I was happy, I didnt have the usual guilt or worthlessness that's plagues me since I was 12.

Things with my girlfriend are amazing, we're so close and seem to want all the same things in life.. she makes me laugh and feel safe and she's taught me what I'm worth. we are so in love and I never knew life could be like this. plus she is so beautiful I could hold her and stare at her for the rest of my life. Thank you Marcia!

I'm not over drinking and mixing drugs anymore.. there's no need becuase I've finally learned to trust my friends and now it's just about a good time and not forgetting who the hell I am.

Things with my parents are better, I basically moved out but I go home twice a week on Sunday and Thursday, and they like the routine. They're happy I'm back in school and I'm sure they'll be even happier when they see the old grades!

I came out to my sister - FINALLY

anyway.. I just wanna brag that my average is about %80 - the best I've ever gotten.

oh and I just got another job teaching a cartooning class for kids. yey!

LIFE IS GOOD!