deep
TRIBE Member
I've stopped smoking, atleast for this past week after having bought a pack every other day for the past 6-8 months. I don't claim to have had as difficult a time with this as people who have been smoking for much longer, but thought I would share some of my thoughts on the subject, since quitting things (smoking, drinking, etc.) seems to be a recurring theme here.
I think that most of the time when people want to quit something it's because they're unsatisfied with the balance point they've reached with whatever it is they're doing. So much so that cutting it out completely seems like the only thing that would restore balance.
Problem is I don't think this is realistically feasible in most situations. It takes time to acquire a habit of doing things, it takes time to get rid of that habit. The habit was probably acquired gradually, and in turn will need to be removed gradually.
For things like nicotine there is the quesiton of physiological addiction, that your body chemically becomes dependant on something, and it's not just a question of your willpower. But people make the mistake of thinking it is nonetheless. In situations like this, it's all the more important to gives affordances to the physiological attribution of the problem and not just see things as being 100% within the control of your mind. For things like alcohol, I would there is often a strong psychological association between being drunk as allowing you to have a good time or relax. Getting rid of inaccurate associations like that are best done gradually instead of by fire.
Unfortunately I don't think most people try to take a gradual approach to things, thinking in all or nothing terms and consequently heightening the risk of their efforts failing.
It seems that people have the most problem or relapses into the behaviour they're trying to cessate when they put their efforts in black and white terms of failure or success. If they have a cigarette or a drink, they've completely failed, so they might as well fall right off the wagon instead of viewing that one transgression as being an acceptable part of the process. Having a drink when in the company of people who are drinking does not necessarily mean you've fucked up and might as well go on a bender, having a cigarette when out doesn't mean having to chain smoke through a pack. You may just need to find a better balance point at which the negatives don't overwhelm any positives you might derive. For some people that means having nothing at all, for others it may be different.
For me it helped to rationalize that I wasn't getting anything positive out of what I was doing, and I think it's important to ask yourself why it is you are doing what you do, why you do it to the extent you do, and whether that's what you want. For me, it had become something of a behavioural association more than a need, that merely being bored made me inclined to go light up a cigarette because it was something to do. But afterwards I felt tired, getting your teeth stained yellow or fingers cured like a christmas ham didn't help either. Everytime I would normally go for a cigarette I'd just remind myself of these things and the reason why I seemed to smoke and the feeling would pass. The weirdest part is the first couple days but after you build up some momentum it's like a hitting streak - you don't want to stop once you're doing good and have found a more comfortable balance point.
I think that most of the time when people want to quit something it's because they're unsatisfied with the balance point they've reached with whatever it is they're doing. So much so that cutting it out completely seems like the only thing that would restore balance.
Problem is I don't think this is realistically feasible in most situations. It takes time to acquire a habit of doing things, it takes time to get rid of that habit. The habit was probably acquired gradually, and in turn will need to be removed gradually.
For things like nicotine there is the quesiton of physiological addiction, that your body chemically becomes dependant on something, and it's not just a question of your willpower. But people make the mistake of thinking it is nonetheless. In situations like this, it's all the more important to gives affordances to the physiological attribution of the problem and not just see things as being 100% within the control of your mind. For things like alcohol, I would there is often a strong psychological association between being drunk as allowing you to have a good time or relax. Getting rid of inaccurate associations like that are best done gradually instead of by fire.
Unfortunately I don't think most people try to take a gradual approach to things, thinking in all or nothing terms and consequently heightening the risk of their efforts failing.
It seems that people have the most problem or relapses into the behaviour they're trying to cessate when they put their efforts in black and white terms of failure or success. If they have a cigarette or a drink, they've completely failed, so they might as well fall right off the wagon instead of viewing that one transgression as being an acceptable part of the process. Having a drink when in the company of people who are drinking does not necessarily mean you've fucked up and might as well go on a bender, having a cigarette when out doesn't mean having to chain smoke through a pack. You may just need to find a better balance point at which the negatives don't overwhelm any positives you might derive. For some people that means having nothing at all, for others it may be different.
For me it helped to rationalize that I wasn't getting anything positive out of what I was doing, and I think it's important to ask yourself why it is you are doing what you do, why you do it to the extent you do, and whether that's what you want. For me, it had become something of a behavioural association more than a need, that merely being bored made me inclined to go light up a cigarette because it was something to do. But afterwards I felt tired, getting your teeth stained yellow or fingers cured like a christmas ham didn't help either. Everytime I would normally go for a cigarette I'd just remind myself of these things and the reason why I seemed to smoke and the feeling would pass. The weirdest part is the first couple days but after you build up some momentum it's like a hitting streak - you don't want to stop once you're doing good and have found a more comfortable balance point.
