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Psycho girl problems

Tahoe

TRIBE Member
I've been planning a break up with the now ex for a while, fearing that she'd cut my dick off or bring another dude over to the house, as I suggested it once and she snapped.
I finally had enough after she became beyond selfish and we amicably broke up Friday morning when she finally agreed that the relationship wasn't working. So she went to a concert Friday night and I requested she not come home super late because I had been having problems sleeping. I text her at 1:30am asking when she'll be home and she said shortly. An hour later she tramps into the house wasted with some dude. I was not very happy, told her so and she really didn't care. After a few minutes told the guy her had to leave, regardless of her saying he's a platonic friend. Buddy gives me attitude and I withold the urge to smash his face in and she says she'll walk him out. She ends up leaving with him and ignores my phone calls. She finally answers and gives me a tremendous amount of attitude and says 'don't worry it's not like we're fucking, we just went to a&w'. An hour later she's still not home and at that point I pack up my stuff at 6am Saturday morning and went to a friend's. In the morning she called me still full of attitude, pissed off that I cut off her phone that I pay for, unapologetic for her actions hours before. Later in the day she called and gave me what seemed to be an honest apology and agreed to pay me back the grand that she owes me as long as I reactivate her phone which she will begin paying for so I agree. We met up Saturday evening and had a talk and it really hurt to she how seemingly cool she was with what happened. She called me the next morning with more apologies, and stating that she cried for an hour after I left. I'm still very upset, even though I got what I wanted, but not in the way that I wanted. Now I live in guelph with minimal friends and no gf whom I had moved there to be with. Man, I make some bad decisions.

What's mildly entertaining to me is that she had given past girlfriends of mine nicknames of daddy issues and psycho. I have now dubbed her psycho daddy issues. I'm also soothed at the fact that her mother sided with my actions and told her she's a fucking idiot and will have a hard time finding anyone that will care for her as much as I did.

Gah. /rant
 

RumRogerz

TRIBE Member
Dude I'm sorry to hear that man. These sorts of situations are for the best though. Just walk away and never look back man.

I feel even more sorry for you having to move to Guelph. Come back to Toronto. It misses you.
 

Mr. Magyar

TRIBE Member
I've been planning a break up with the now ex for a while, fearing that she'd cut my dick off or bring another dude over to the house, as I suggested it once and she snapped.
I finally had enough after she became beyond selfish and we amicably broke up Friday morning when she finally agreed that the relationship wasn't working. So she went to a concert Friday night and I requested she not come home super late because I had been having problems sleeping. I text her at 1:30am asking when she'll be home and she said shortly. An hour later she tramps into the house wasted with some dude. I was not very happy, told her so and she really didn't care. After a few minutes told the guy her had to leave, regardless of her saying he's a platonic friend. Buddy gives me attitude and I withold the urge to smash his face in and she says she'll walk him out. She ends up leaving with him and ignores my phone calls. She finally answers and gives me a tremendous amount of attitude and says 'don't worry it's not like we're fucking, we just went to a&w'. An hour later she's still not home and at that point I pack up my stuff at 6am Saturday morning and went to a friend's. In the morning she called me still full of attitude, pissed off that I cut off her phone that I pay for, unapologetic for her actions hours before. Later in the day she called and gave me what seemed to be an honest apology and agreed to pay me back the grand that she owes me as long as I reactivate her phone which she will begin paying for so I agree. We met up Saturday evening and had a talk and it really hurt to she how seemingly cool she was with what happened. She called me the next morning with more apologies, and stating that she cried for an hour after I left. I'm still very upset, even though I got what I wanted, but not in the way that I wanted. Now I live in guelph with minimal friends and no gf whom I had moved there to be with. Man, I make some bad decisions.

What's mildly entertaining to me is that she had given past girlfriends of mine nicknames of daddy issues and psycho. I have now dubbed her psycho daddy issues. I'm also soothed at the fact that her mother sided with my actions and told her she's a fucking idiot and will have a hard time finding anyone that will care for her as much as I did.

Gah. /rant
Wait a minute! You two are now broken up and you're pissed off that she came home with another guy in an apartment that (I assume) she also pays for? Newsflash: once you two are broken up, she can bring home and/or fuck any guy she wants even if you're present. Grow some balls, accept reality, and cut all ties with her.
 

kuba

TRIBE Member
Maybe you live in a world where they have not yet defined the word respect, but I am guessing there is a code of some sorts that EVEN THOUGH you are broken up, there are some boundaries at play.

If you read the post you would notice they broke up the morning of, and at night she is bringing home someone else.

Totally selfish and idiotic, sorry for your troubles. Time for tinder!!!
 

Mr. Magyar

TRIBE Member
Maybe you live in a world where they have not yet defined the word respect, but I am guessing there is a code of some sorts that EVEN THOUGH you are broken up, there are some boundaries at play.

If you read the post you would notice they broke up the morning of, and at night she is bringing home someone else.

Totally selfish and idiotic, sorry for your troubles. Time for tinder!!!
Broke up in the morning means she can do whatever she wants in the afternoon and evening. The last time I checked, once a relationship is done, both parties can do as they please. She doesn't owe him anything and he doesn't owe her anything from that point onward.
 

octo

TRIBE Member
i agree with kuba. people need to be respectful.

i had a brush with lunacy two weeks before valentines. i got a text from a girl who hadn't so much as texted me in over two years. i have fully kept my distance as to avoid psycho girl problems. i feel like i smartly and politely avoided a drunken meet up at a club. i saw her at a bar a couple of weeks ago with her on again off again ex.
 

djfear

TRIBE Member
Broke up in the morning means she can do whatever she wants in the afternoon and evening. The last time I checked, once a relationship is done, both parties can do as they please. She doesn't owe him anything and he doesn't owe her anything from that point onward.
This is true, however if they still share an apartment...

If my gf and I broke up in the morning, and she brought a guy back to our place that we still share so she can fuck his brains out, chances are one or both of them would be getting thrown off the balcony. You know... because I can do as I please.

Or maybe the reality is different because I'm not a murderous psychopath, so instead I would just start throwing all her shit out of the apartment. Can't get too sexy with your new boo if 100% of your clean panties, cat, goldfish, and MacBook Pro are strewn in front of the house.

:) <-- all of that done with this smile.

Tl;dr I'm with kuba & octo on this one.
 

Mr. Magyar

TRIBE Member
This is true, however if they still share an apartment...

If my gf and I broke up in the morning, and she brought a guy back to our place that we still share so she can fuck his brains out, chances are one or both of them would be getting thrown off the balcony. You know... because I can do as I please.

Or maybe the reality is different because I'm not a murderous psychopath, so instead I would just start throwing all her shit out of the apartment. Can't get too sexy with your new boo if 100% of your clean panties, cat, goldfish, and MacBook Pro are strewn in front of the house.

:) <-- all of that done with this smile.

Tl;dr I'm with kuba & octo on this one.
Yeah, throwing someone off the balcony on an impulse is on the same gradient as an ex-girlfriend bringing home a new guy while you sit under the covers paralyzed with depression. Christ, you guys seem to think women owe you something just because you are or were nice to them.
 

Bernnie Federko

TRIBE Member
It speaks to the character of the person that they would pull a move like that. There's nothing to gain by fighting dirty at a relationship's crossroad/departure point.

You walk away a winner, they get to continue on with a lot of heavy baggage.

Life is too short for wasted energy towards making a negative impact. Eff that garbage.
 

djfear

TRIBE Member
Yeah, throwing someone off the balcony on an impulse is on the same gradient as an ex-girlfriend bringing home a new guy while you sit under the covers paralyzed with depression. Christ, you guys seem to think women owe you something just because you are or were nice to them.
What else would you expect if you bring someone else home while your ex of 8 hours is moping around in the living room? "Oh, sorry guys, I'll give you some privacy and go for a walk..."? It's just common sense not to do that shit because you don't know what a depressed or emotionally unstable person would do.

Seriously... if you read that in the paper "Guy brings girl home to his ex, ex stabs guy in a fit of rage." how much sympathy would that guy get from the general public? None. He'd be a fucking idiot to do that.
 

praktik

TRIBE Member
It speaks to the character of the person that they would pull a move like that. There's nothing to gain by fighting dirty at a relationship's crossroad/departure point.

You walk away a winner, they get to continue on with a lot of heavy baggage.

Life is too short for wasted energy towards making a negative impact. Eff that garbage.
Wow I guess getting older does make you wiser, can't wait for MY next birthday!!
 

Tahoe

TRIBE Member
Wait a minute! You two are now broken up and you're pissed off that she came home with another guy in an apartment that (I assume) she also pays for? Newsflash: once you two are broken up, she can bring home and/or fuck any guy she wants even if you're present. Grow some balls, accept reality, and cut all ties with her.
I forgot to mentioned the part where we discussed not bringing dates over to the one bedroom apartment that I was paying for
 

Tahoe

TRIBE Member
Edit*

I forgot to mentioned the part where we discussed not bringing dates over to the one bedroom apartment that I was paying for(sweet assumption, brah). I could have thrown my balls around and kicked the shit out of the guy, but that's not a very grown up thing to do. I debated tossing her shit out, but most of the furniture was hers so I decided to dip out because it was easier. Anyway, we talked about it and she apologized and is going to pay back the monies that she owes me so I'm over it. I signed a lease on Sunday to a much nicer place and she is going to stay at the old place. I don't think I would have wanted to stay there anyway.

I've thought about coming back to Toronto but I like my job so I'm going to stick it out for a while and see where it takes me.
 

ravinjunkie

TRIBE Member
Broke up in the morning means she can do whatever she wants in the afternoon and evening. The last time I checked, once a relationship is done, both parties can do as they please. She doesn't owe him anything and he doesn't owe her anything from that point onward.
Well at least someone said it, sorry Tahoe but you sound like a bit of a psycho.

You break up with her randomly WHILE she is living with you???

She has a concert the night of. You proceed to keep tabs on her by texting her and asking when she will be back AS she should have been home early ??

How old is she anyway 17?

She acts all cool when you two meet up, what did you expect her to do? Start bawling her eyes out? You have no idea how she feels, her bf has been supporting her and then kicks her out, no communication, no reason. GTFO.

If you want to behave like a grown up, start learning to use your words.

That being said heartbreak sucks.
 

Tahoe

TRIBE Member
The breakup wasn't random, it had been coming for a while and was amicable when it happened. She promised she wouldn't bring anyone home and broke that promise hours later.
She lost her job in January so I stepped up and paid her part of the rent, Internet, and phone bill. We had previous convos regarding a breakup and agreed she would stay and I would relocate. She now has a full time and part time job so she can more than support herself so she'll be just fine.
As for keeping tabs on her, she didn't come home the night before when she said she would, which had me worrying about her. I was just checking in at 1 am to see what was up.

Anybody else care to make any assumptions?
 

kuba

TRIBE Member
mr miyagi,

Say what you want about personal freedoms etc., i think you are taking too black and white approach to it.

Of COURSE once you break up you give up the right to expect the other person to act loyally.

The point is to act with respect which she has not done.
 

Sal De Ban

TRIBE Member
you should always call someone out on treating you like shit. it doesn't much matter whether they are, were, or ever will be your s.o.

exes are in a special position to easily treat you like shit in a way that no other can. is it right to just accept that?

that said, i'm relieved I didn't ever have to go through this - at least to this extent.
 

loopdokter

TRIBE Promoter
Now I live in guelph with minimal friends and no gf whom I had moved there to be with. Man, I make some bad decisions.
First, that sucks dude. Regardless of her being an ex, her bringing home some random dude considering the situation whilst you were still cohabiting isn't cool.

Second, you'll find friends. If you play sports, join a league or two or a running club or something. The Running Room has weekly meet ups for people looking to run for instance. MAD chicks, yo! If that's not your bag, jump on the Internets on a site like meetup.com and check and see what kind of groups are out there for people in your area that share your interests.

Third, I live close to you. Take that as you will. Guelph is a cool town.
 

Tahoe

TRIBE Member
I actually just joined a slopitch softball league and reconnected with some younger dudes that were her former roomies. I think I'll be ok now that I've chilled out lol

Anyway, she's been calling me everyday since like nothing happened, which is kinda weird but whatever. We've had some talks and are trying to be friends, although she keeps saying I've fucked her over for rent, and I might need to lend her more money, yet she forgets that I have now basically given her a phone that I'm have to pay for.

All in all, this was quite the experience and I've learned to A: be more honest with myself and partner regarding my feelings, and B: don't move in with someone until you really know them.

Thanks for all the input, guys!
 

Mr. Magyar

TRIBE Member
I forgot to mentioned the part where we discussed not bringing dates over to the one bedroom apartment that I was paying for
Alright. Her name isn't on the lease. That means -- wait for it! -- you can tell her that she has to move out immediately. Finding a place to stay is her problem, not yours. Who am I kidding? You need a tampon because you're a bloody pussy.

Edit*

I forgot to mentioned the part where we discussed not bringing dates over to the one bedroom apartment that I was paying for(sweet assumption, brah). I could have thrown my balls around and kicked the shit out of the guy, but that's not a very grown up thing to do. I debated tossing her shit out, but most of the furniture was hers so I decided to dip out because it was easier. Anyway, we talked about it and she apologized and is going to pay back the monies that she owes me so I'm over it. I signed a lease on Sunday to a much nicer place and she is going to stay at the old place. I don't think I would have wanted to stay there anyway.

I've thought about coming back to Toronto but I like my job so I'm going to stick it out for a while and see where it takes me.
Yeah, her word is real good based on the fact that you stated she was a selfish person. Also, why would you kick the shit out of the guy? I didn't know the world revolves around you and has an obligation to consider your feelings. Right in the feels, man. Right. In. The. Feels. Besides, the fact that you said you could have kicked the shit out of the guy means you were never going to. Good luck ever seeing that money she promised you, by the way.

The breakup wasn't random, it had been coming for a while and was amicable when it happened. She promised she wouldn't bring anyone home and broke that promise hours later.
She lost her job in January so I stepped up and paid her part of the rent, Internet, and phone bill. We had previous convos regarding a breakup and agreed she would stay and I would relocate. She now has a full time and part time job so she can more than support herself so she'll be just fine.
As for keeping tabs on her, she didn't come home the night before when she said she would, which had me worrying about her. I was just checking in at 1 am to see what was up.

Anybody else care to make any assumptions?
Dude, you fucked yourself. Why are you so worried about her being okay? You sound a wee bit obsessive.

I actually just joined a slopitch softball league and reconnected with some younger dudes that were her former roomies. I think I'll be ok now that I've chilled out lol

Anyway, she's been calling me everyday since like nothing happened, which is kinda weird but whatever. We've had some talks and are trying to be friends, although she keeps saying I've fucked her over for rent, and I might need to lend her more money, yet she forgets that I have now basically given her a phone that I'm have to pay for.

All in all, this was quite the experience and I've learned to A: be more honest with myself and partner regarding my feelings, and B: don't move in with someone until you really know them.

Thanks for all the input, guys!
Perfectly normal to break up with someone and then reconnect with her former roommates. In fact, it is consistent with stalkers and guys who are controlling. Ever consider that she was acting out before the split because you're fucked in the head? You even provided a new story! First she's fine and now she's calling your for money. In any case, I bet some dude is just pounding her and she's loving the new dick. I'd even bet that she's already over you because she's remembering what a good rogering is all about.
 

Mr. Magyar

TRIBE Member
mr miyagi,

Say what you want about personal freedoms etc., i think you are taking too black and white approach to it.

Of COURSE once you break up you give up the right to expect the other person to act loyally.

The point is to act with respect which she has not done.
Or, you can be smart and not live with someone so that shit like this can be avoided.
 

Zorro

TRIBE Member
He just needs to argue on the internet for the sake of arguing. It seems to Be his TRIBE "trait"

Although I will say there seems to be nothing really psycho about the girl. More of a drunken stupor after a break up.

It's a rare type of species that would be "comfortable" with their ex of less then 24 hours bringing to shared apartment somebody to fuck.
 
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