praktik
TRIBE Member
sunk cost fallacy
The saving grace for many relationships that maybe woulda died if not for the fallacy (subsequently DID get better!) - the sentencing to misery for others where the sunk cost fallacy leads to continued failure
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Psycho girl problems
- Thread starter Rajio
- Start date
sunk cost fallacy
The saving grace for many relationships that maybe woulda died if not for the fallacy (subsequently DID get better!) - the sentencing to misery for others where the sunk cost fallacy leads to continued failure
^^That's interesting, i know i'm guilty of that thinking sometimes.
I've been debating whether or not to throw this in here, but after the past month, i am beyond caring anymore so i'll give it a shot and hopefully it's worthy of the thread title.
Back when i was dating my ex, this girl at our office and him had been hanging out and got to be friends (though i am certain they slept together just before him and i got back together - he never confessed it but it's a feeling). She wanted to be with him but at the time he wanted to be with me. Over the course of 3+ years (and he and i were living together), she kept chasing him relentlessly (even though he said he wasn't interested). Then finally after 3 years he broke up with me (mainly because of her, but there were other problems). And i'm almost 100% certain he cheated on me with her.
For a year after we broke up, he dated her on and off (mostly because i don't think he was sure about her and i wouldn't be friends with him if he dated her). So after a year, he finally decided he was going to be with her and within one month, she accidentally got pregnant. (there was no accident, i actually warned him a year prior that if he wasn't careful, she'd help herself to a child).
While she was pregnant and i'd see her at the office, she charged at me twice and stalked me in the lobby of our building once.
Not sure if this falls under the psycho category, but i sure think she's just plain nuts (and extremely selfish).
I've been debating whether or not to throw this in here, but after the past month, i am beyond caring anymore so i'll give it a shot and hopefully it's worthy of the thread title.
Back when i was dating my ex, this girl at our office and him had been hanging out and got to be friends (though i am certain they slept together just before him and i got back together - he never confessed it but it's a feeling). She wanted to be with him but at the time he wanted to be with me. Over the course of 3+ years (and he and i were living together), she kept chasing him relentlessly (even though he said he wasn't interested). Then finally after 3 years he broke up with me (mainly because of her, but there were other problems). And i'm almost 100% certain he cheated on me with her.
For a year after we broke up, he dated her on and off (mostly because i don't think he was sure about her and i wouldn't be friends with him if he dated her). So after a year, he finally decided he was going to be with her and within one month, she accidentally got pregnant. (there was no accident, i actually warned him a year prior that if he wasn't careful, she'd help herself to a child).
While she was pregnant and i'd see her at the office, she charged at me twice and stalked me in the lobby of our building once.
Not sure if this falls under the psycho category, but i sure think she's just plain nuts (and extremely selfish).
djglobalkiller
TRIBE Promoter
RumRogerz
TRIBE Member
Alright guys, I fucking did it. Couldn't take the bullshit anymore and just left.
We were out one night at a bar, and while it seemed we were having a good enough time, she dropped an ultimatum on me (either i get her preggo by August or she will find someone else or some other way to make it happen - but i could still be her boyfriend(?))
She said choose a date, I didn't want to deal with it at the time. She made me; so I chose some stupid random date. WRONG answer. She fucking FLIPPED OUT. She was yelling - 'THATS the date you're going to break up with me?!?' I was super confused. And embarrassed. Were in a full bar - people are staring at us. She slams her drink down, pushes shit out of the way, grabs her purse and storms out. My jaw was dropped.
The bartender comes up to me after a bit and even says to me (no lie) - 'dude i don't think anyone could help but overhear what happened, and I got to tell you - nobody deserves that' and gives me a few shots on the house. Which was a really nice gesture.
So I leave, go down to the bank to get some money for a cab, and head into pizza pizza to grab a slice and then head on home. She shows up. Now it gets worse.
She storms in, starts calling me a 'piece of shit, a fucking asshole' yelling dudes. YELLING. People in the restaurant stop eating and have their jaws open at the incessant amount of diatribe vomiting out of her mouth. I wanted to cry, throw something; do something dramatic. But instead, I calmly went over to her, and in a hushed tone said 'you know what, i've fucking had just about enough of this shit from you. You've embarrassed me for the last time, I do not deserve this shit and I'm leaving you.'
I don't say another word. I turn around and leave... with whatever dignity I had left.
That shit was intense. When I was in the cab ride home, I didn't know what to feel. I was just numb.
Haven't spoken to her since. I absolutely refuse to.
We were out one night at a bar, and while it seemed we were having a good enough time, she dropped an ultimatum on me (either i get her preggo by August or she will find someone else or some other way to make it happen - but i could still be her boyfriend(?))
She said choose a date, I didn't want to deal with it at the time. She made me; so I chose some stupid random date. WRONG answer. She fucking FLIPPED OUT. She was yelling - 'THATS the date you're going to break up with me?!?' I was super confused. And embarrassed. Were in a full bar - people are staring at us. She slams her drink down, pushes shit out of the way, grabs her purse and storms out. My jaw was dropped.
The bartender comes up to me after a bit and even says to me (no lie) - 'dude i don't think anyone could help but overhear what happened, and I got to tell you - nobody deserves that' and gives me a few shots on the house. Which was a really nice gesture.
So I leave, go down to the bank to get some money for a cab, and head into pizza pizza to grab a slice and then head on home. She shows up. Now it gets worse.
She storms in, starts calling me a 'piece of shit, a fucking asshole' yelling dudes. YELLING. People in the restaurant stop eating and have their jaws open at the incessant amount of diatribe vomiting out of her mouth. I wanted to cry, throw something; do something dramatic. But instead, I calmly went over to her, and in a hushed tone said 'you know what, i've fucking had just about enough of this shit from you. You've embarrassed me for the last time, I do not deserve this shit and I'm leaving you.'
I don't say another word. I turn around and leave... with whatever dignity I had left.
That shit was intense. When I was in the cab ride home, I didn't know what to feel. I was just numb.
Haven't spoken to her since. I absolutely refuse to.
SneakyPete
TRIBE Member
Wait, was she waiting outside stalking you after she stormed out? How did she know you were at Pizza Pizza?
Good for you for getting out of that.
Sal De Ban
TRIBE Member
holy crap, what a freak! you should never have to put up with that kind of verbal abuse or humiliation. nothing makes a guy feel worse about himself than that type of shit.
loopdokter
TRIBE Promoter
Obviously this is an armchair diagnosis, but based upon what you've described RumRogerz, it sounds as if she's undiagnosed bipolar. I dated a girl for 6 months and it was similar. Those kinds of behaviours absolutely fit the bill.
But again, that's just me sitting here chomping on my popcorn. You handled it like a gentleman - one that she clearly doesn't have respect for or deserve. Well done.
But again, that's just me sitting here chomping on my popcorn. You handled it like a gentleman - one that she clearly doesn't have respect for or deserve. Well done.
Bernnie Federko
TRIBE Member
Good move, life is too short.
praktik
TRIBE Member
Theme song to aussie masterchef! I think we're due for another season of ~70 episodes of culinary celebration pretty soon!
RumRogerz
TRIBE Member
I would like to first off thank you all for the man support.
It is greatly appreciated.
Sal de Ban - you're right. No man (or woman) deserves this. The amount of emasculation I've received time and time again withered me down and almost tore me apart.
Loopdokter - I've had this conversation with her before (when she was acting normally) and she refuses to seek any outside sources for help. As she believes that a psychologist is just after her for her money and not to actually help her (which is complete bullshit); but reasoning with a person like this is completely useless and a waste of energy. However, I still tried to... time and time again.
Right now, the RumRogerz is taking a seat back, relaxing and above all, staying away from females for a bit. I needs to enjoy being single for a while again.
It is greatly appreciated.
Sal de Ban - you're right. No man (or woman) deserves this. The amount of emasculation I've received time and time again withered me down and almost tore me apart.
Loopdokter - I've had this conversation with her before (when she was acting normally) and she refuses to seek any outside sources for help. As she believes that a psychologist is just after her for her money and not to actually help her (which is complete bullshit); but reasoning with a person like this is completely useless and a waste of energy. However, I still tried to... time and time again.
Right now, the RumRogerz is taking a seat back, relaxing and above all, staying away from females for a bit. I needs to enjoy being single for a while again.
You sound like the male version of myself. I'm staying away from men. Hopefully one day i'll trust enough to get back out there.
Sorry that was so hard on you...just get back to the core of who and what you are. Do all the shit she never let you do!
You can be certain your dignity is intact. If I had been sitting in the restaurant and saw this go down, my impression would've been that the woman was making a scene and the man did most gentlemanly thing he could under the circumstances.
WestsideWax
TRIBE Promoter
praktik
TRIBE Member
Ya man, focus on #1!
I had a breakup with a bipolar a while back and we definitely parted ways from what I would call genuine relationship issues of which her bipolar was only an incidental factor. Namely she was just untrustworthy, so anyone can be that way...
But ya long and short of it after I was like - OK - time to play video games, hang with my buddies, sleep in whenever I want, take care of #1
And then like, 5 months later outta nowhere met the girl I'm still with like, 8 years later! Don't look for it and one day it will just land in your lap!
loopdokter
TRIBE Promoter
The old adage that only those who want to help themselves can be helped.
I often wonder what became of my ex-gf who was bipolar and if she managed to get the help she needed.
My husband and I are both not "friends" with our exes (anyone we dated seriously since highschool) It is easier that way. Clean breaks, not dealing with bs.
We met in our 30's and got married few years later. The plenty of fish in the sea is expression is anoying, yet true at the same time.. hehe. Take time and get to know yourself again. Build up the confidence, get back into your hobbies, and enjoy life for a bit without some else getting in the way
We met in our 30's and got married few years later. The plenty of fish in the sea is expression is anoying, yet true at the same time.. hehe. Take time and get to know yourself again. Build up the confidence, get back into your hobbies, and enjoy life for a bit without some else getting in the way
