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Preparation for long trip away from home

LivingRoomPornstar

TRIBE Member
Kitlist or Shitlist?

My grandmother used to tell me, "prepare for your trip, but don't over prepare because the germans will see their reflection in the heel of your boot and shoot you in the face". Love you grandma, you're a saint. Though I probably won't let her speak at my wedding, the woman lends some great advice. At what point do you over-prepare for a 3 month leave from home? I have compiled a long list of items in my possession, and have only made a few decisions as to what makes the "kit list" and what's banished to the "shit list". "Practical" or "By some Universal Standard Technically Retarded"(BUSTR), you be the judge:

Hiking Boots(kitlist):

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Since the majority of my time will be spent in an office sans air conditioning(roughly about 120 degrees fahrenheit), you might think sandals would be a more appropriate choice. Though I may be required to have these when taking a few trips into the field, my vehement argument for this item's inclusion is based on the variety of herpetafauna and insects in Honduras, not so easily dispatched with a rolled up newspaper(see Ex. A). Sure, this doesn't exactly fit with the conservationist effort, but I'm convinced that if given the opportunity, these creatures wouldn't give eating my face a second thought. Conveniently, hysterical stomping is also an integral part of a good cardiovascular exercise routine!

Ex. A: Brown Recluse Spider

BR4_100.jpg


"Typically, bites go unnoticed for several hours, but they can also be intensely painful almost immediately. They can eventually result in a circular red area on the skin, which sloughs off, leaving a slow-healing, open wound and exposed muscle tissue. The edges of the wound become thickened and raised, while the central area is filled by dense scar tissue. Lesions can range in diameter up to 10 inches. Healing can take up to two months or more. The victim is often left with a sunken scar that looks as if a hole had been scooped from the body."
 
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LivingRoomPornstar

TRIBE Member
Kitlist or Shitlist? Part Dos


Item #2: Meshach Taylor Poster (Shitlist):

taylor_meshach.jpg


Oh Meshach! There have been many nights when I've gazed at the moon, and hoped that maybe -- just maybe, you might be gazing at it too, and then the moon's mystical energy would help you hear my thoughts, my mind poetry written just for you...Don't play dumb with me Mesach! It's the same energy you had to draw on to deliver your nearly award-winning performance as Hollywood Montrose in the movie Mannequin(1987).

If you ask me, Mesach, Andrew McCarthy, Kim Cattrall and Estelle Getty were humbled on that project, HUMBLED.

You will always be my favourite "Designing Woman", but you can't come with me this time, the heat and humidity would wreak absolute havoc on your hair!
 

LivingRoomPornstar

TRIBE Member
Kitlist or Shitlist? Pt 2.1


Grivel Air Tech Evo Ice Axe(Kitlist):

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Though I bought this ice axe originally to play out a years long fantasy to assault and embarass CTV's obnoxious Weather Anchor Tom Brown,

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the ice axe will be a welcome addition to the kitlist for another reason. What's that Mr. Academia? There's no ice climbing in Honduras? If only the axe was for ice climbing! The axe will be instrumental in frantically climbing Honduran Ceiba trees, when faced with the mean prehensile end of a disgruntled Baird's Tapir's snout. Oh don't let this sweet face fool you

tapir.jpg


you see a Tapir and you run man, you run like your life depends on it, because it does! This tapir has a taste for man-flesh, which is -- as all tapirs know too well -- a dish best served frozen...in fear.
 
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technowelt

TRIBE Member
LivingRoomPornstar said:
"Typically, bites go unnoticed for several hours, but they can also be intensely painful almost immediately. They can eventually result in a circular red area on the skin, which sloughs off, leaving a slow-healing, open wound and exposed muscle tissue. The edges of the wound become thickened and raised, while the central area is filled by dense scar tissue. Lesions can range in diameter up to 10 inches. Healing can take up to two months or more. The victim is often left with a sunken scar that looks as if a hole had been scooped from the body."

Tip: Do not do a google image search for brown recluse spider bites for at least one hour after eating. :eek:
 
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justin surdit

TRIBE Member
if you haven't already purchased your boots, give these some thought:

5000568s_v1_m56577569830518043.jpg


lightweight but very sturdy, gore-tex (waterproof) and seriously durable. I've had mine for a couple of years now and have given them some serious loads and miles, and they show absolutely no sign of wear. vibram soles, and a solid shank provide excellent support, and require very little break in time before they fit to your foot.

other than that, bon voyage and happy trails and all that shit - btw nice choice on the meshach poster, it will add a touch of class anywhere you go.
 

Wiseman

TRIBE Member
Antivenom is essential.........................................

























































for the plane ride of course.
 
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LivingRoomPornstar

TRIBE Member
justin surdit said:
if you haven't already purchased your boots, give these some thought:

5000568s_v1_m56577569830518043.jpg


lightweight but very sturdy, gore-tex (waterproof) and seriously durable. I've had mine for a couple of years now and have given them some serious loads and miles, and they show absolutely no sign of wear. vibram soles, and a solid shank provide excellent support, and require very little break in time before they fit to your foot.

other than that, bon voyage and happy trails and all that shit - btw nice choice on the meshach poster, it will add a touch of class anywhere you go.

thanks for the tip! I bought a pair of boots a couple of years ago, and did not go cheap....these boots will probably last me forever.
 

derek

TRIBE Member
perhaps a little more heavy-duty than you'll need, but if your going to be carrying a pack with more than thirty pound conisder the lowa baffin. i love this boots.

baffin_large.jpg
 

LivingRoomPornstar

TRIBE Member
A valuable resource discovered to bridge the language gap during my work term

Friends, Britons, Countrymen, lend me yo' ears scene?

It has come to my attention that there have been a few Canadians who have previously worked on this project(most notably, Dr. Hines, who runs the entire Honduran operation) that encountered a small language barrier when communicating with the countrymen of our most symbolic homeland. In an effort to circumvent any misunderstanding or unintentional offense, i have gone to great lengths to find an online resource to efficiently bridge this gap.

One evening(maybe even-ing this one) I came across an online translator, that will surely win me into the most scrutinizing British scientist's favour. It allows me to translate the often brutish, backwoods Canadian dialect fostered and nourished by many years of dog-team sledding, fur-trapping and igloo building, into a language easily understood by the sophisticated British populace. Observe in awe, the following demonstration:

Canadian Speak: No problem Dr. Franklin, i'll be there with the anti-venom is less than an hour

Translation: Narr beef Dr. Franklin, I'll be dere wiv da anti-venom in less dan an hour.

Canadian Speak: I understand you're upset, but I can't smuggle any more rum into camp until next Wednesday,. I'm sorry for the inconvenience!

Translation: I feel yous iz down, but I can't smuggle no more rum into camp until next Wednesday. I iz sowwy fe da inconvenience!

Canadian Speak: Doctor, it has been a lonely, lonely week. If you could send down your most nubile volunteer for my *ahem* assessment, it would really make my night!

Translation: Doctor, hit as bin da lonely, lonely week. If yous could send down ya most dun, nubile voluntea, fe me *ahem* assessment, hit would fe real make me night!

As you can plainly see, with the aid of this invaluable resource, a new-age rosetta stone if you will, all possible linguistic crises will be averted!

Peace howt

Dan
PS - should you find yourself in a similar predicament, you can find this resource at Your Salvation
 
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Temper Tantrum

TRIBE Member
1) first aid kit
2) GOOD hiking boots that a snake biting through will not pierce
3) 3 seasons tent/sleeping bag (if you're spending a lot of time abroad you never know where you will end up)
4) full supply of any medication you may need, malaria pills/antibiotics (i recommend CIPRO) due to any infection/any other personal requirements
5) i'd recommend a good MEC waterproof jacket
6) gatorade powder. if you get dehydration sickness or any other ailments this will aid your recovery so much
7) headlamp
8) swiss army knife
9) waterproof tarps. you will need them.
10) photocopies of EVERYTHING. passport. id's. write down all your travellers cheque #'s.
11) travel insurance. extensive travel insurance.

these are the things that have been the most important to me when i've travelled for long periods of time.
while these recommendations seem simple you'd be amazed how many travellers neglect the small details and end up severly disadvantaged due to that negligence.
 
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