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Premarital cohabitation

Ms. Fit

TRIBE Member
NemIsis said:
I think you totally misinterpretd what I wrote??
Have no idea how you got that from it..:confused:

Anyway, it was the other way around by the way.. I had the inheritance :)

Couldn't care less how much a person makes, as long as he loves what he does and is good at it. So much easier to go home to someone who is happy :p
oh YOU'RE the rich one! sweet! ;)

and no, i gathered what you were trying to say:)

POSTMOD: i will not answer whether my parents cohabited or not, because either way you'll point your finger and go "AH-HA!"
 

PosTMOd

Well-Known TRIBEr
Ms. Fit said:
POSTMOD: i will not answer whether my parents cohabited or not, because either way you'll point your finger and go "AH-HA!"
I already know they didn't, so you don't have to answer ;)
 

Ms. Fit

TRIBE Member
PosTMOd said:
If I had a nickel for every time that I thought that here on tribe, I'd be a fucking billionaire. And Ms. Fit would be knocking at the door in a wedding gown ;)
vera wang.
 

Michlerish

Well-Known TRIBEr
well, I think a risk associated with living together prior to marriage is this:

If a problem should arise, a couple may be less likely to work hard at resolving this problem as they may feel less "committed" without being legally married. If the couple were married, they would most likely try everything in their power to fix the relationship, and use "breaking up" as a last resort.

HOWEVER, it can be said, that should any huge problems arise, the two people may not be "meant" for each other after all and no amount of "work" could fix the relationship and they may be happier with different people in the long run. In this case, it's better to find that out prior to legally marrying.

HOWEVER, if the couple is mature, and has been together long enough to know that they love each other very much and could see themselves together for the long haul... it's hard to imagine that any huge problems would arise.
Unless your significant other was lying or cheating, in which case you'd probably have an equal chance of this happening whether you lived together, didn't live together, married, didn't marry, no matter how long you've been together.

You also can't forget the excellent point that Genesius brought up. That after living together for some time, you risk getting married simply because it feels "comfortable" to do so, even if it's the "wrong" person for you. And sure, many people will say "Well you just have to grow some balls and get out of a relationship if it's not working! Pfft!", but it doesn't always work that way. You may not be exuberant about marrying the person you have been living with, but at the same time, you also can't find anything exactly wrong with the relationship... so you end up marrying and realize a few years down the road that you just don't love each other, or it's just not right (remember Meg Ryan and her bf in You've Got Mail? hehe)

Anyway... I guess the conclusion to all this rambling is that you really have to go with YOUR OWN PERSONAL FEELINGS. If you really want to live with your significant other and don't want to wait until marriage, then do it. If you have some reservations, wait until you're sure. It's totally and completely up to you because every relationship is different.
 
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PosTMOd

Well-Known TRIBEr
Ms. Fit said:
shut up:D you don't see ME using our msn conversations against you!
You actually didn't say anything of the sort on MSN... you gave it away otherwise, and you now just confirmed it ;)
 

Muad'ib

Well-Known TRIBEr
Big Harv said:
If your goal is a long-term happy relationship with that person, you want to maximize the probability that it will happen and minimize the risks of ruining it.

i just puked in my mouth. are you really that stupid?
 

Big Harv

TRIBE Member
Muad'ib said:
i just puked in my mouth. are you really that stupid?
Your stomach is upset too easily - another way of saying it is I don't want to screw the relationship up by making the wrong decision on the cohabitation front - please enlighten me as to how that makes me stupid
 

PosTMOd

Well-Known TRIBEr
Big Harv said:
Your stomach is upset too easily - another way of saying it is I don't want to screw the relationship up by making the wrong decision on the cohabitation front - please enlighten me as to how that makes me stupid
If I may:

Perhaps 'stupid' is the wrong term. I would rather say that you are systemizing rather than emoting in a situation that absolutely demands emotion. A balance of the two is necessary, or one can come across as 'stupid'.
 
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Muad'ib

Well-Known TRIBEr
relying on a single study with questionable methodology to determine whether or not you should cohabit is stupid.

also, what timo said.
 

Lovely N Amazin

TRIBE Member
Muad'ib said:
relying on a single study with questionable methodology to determine whether or not you should cohabit is stupid.
and assuming that the people in this thread with whom you disagree are doing this is retarted.
 
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nusty

TRIBE Member
I just spent the last 6 months living out LA with my gf and even though I'm back in NYC now for the next few months it taught me a lot about how well we get along and really put my mind at ease for the long term comittment with her. I actually can't wait to live with her again in a year or so when we are back permanently in the same city.... until then I have to deal with long distance. :(

I can see living together only hurting the relationship if you weren't meant to live together anyway. Face it, one way or another you have to find out if you can share a living space... one way you figure it out early, the other way you figure it out later after you have less choice in the matter.
 

Big Harv

TRIBE Member
Muad'ib said:
relying on a single study with questionable methodology to determine whether or not you should cohabit is stupid.

also, what timo said.
You have absolutely no reading comprehension skills - I wasn't relying on a single study or a few horror stories to base my decision. I started this thread because I was curious to hear people's experiences with it and it's just one factor among many that I will consider when push comes to shove to make my decision.

As I said above, I'm in the process of making the decision and before I do, I want to understand why there is a school of thought that says you shouldn't cohabit before marriage. If that makes me stupid in your eyes, I can deal with that!
 

Genesius

TRIBE Member
PosTMOd said:
We need to get away from bullshit terms such as "family values", and move toward thinking about what is BEST OVERALL...

I know this is somewhat complicated for binary thinkers such as christians, but please, for fuck's sake, pay attention, read and read again and read again and again and again, for you christian's obviously have reading comprehension difficulties or you wouldn't be discussing the bible--you'd have thrown it out as the literary bullshit it is. My god, the crap that is in that fucking book. This book, supposedly the word of god, is as if written by someone in grade fucking 8. Wasn't me... I would have done better! And so I am so sorry... so sorry for not have put my 5 minutes a day in grade 8 into writing a better tome. I had better things to do, such as look at young female cooch.

And that's that, ya know? And no matter what you think, my drunken' ramblin' is, in fact, better than anything Mel fucking Gibson has produced in a similar state, k, sugartits?
Pmo

Go here, kick ass. You and a guy named JP Holding will get along famously.
 
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Agent Smith

TRIBE Member
Big Harv said:
You have absolutely no reading comprehension skills - I wasn't relying on a single study or a few horror stories to base my decision. I started this thread because I was curious to hear people's experiences with it and it's just one factor among many that I will consider when push comes to shove to make my decision.

As I said above, I'm in the process of making the decision and before I do, I want to understand why there is a school of thought that says you shouldn't cohabit before marriage. If that makes me stupid in your eyes, I can deal with that!
In a related study, people that rely on internet message boards to help make life-altering decisions are three times as likely to be retarded.
 

Ms. Fit

TRIBE Member
^^that's a little harsh. Tribe is an efficient and great way to get the perspectives of many different people, from many different backgrounds yet who you can relate to.

edit: case in point - this thread.
 

Agent Smith

TRIBE Member
Ms. Fit said:
^^that's a little harsh. Tribe is an efficient and great way to get the perspectives of many different people, from many different backgrounds yet who you can relate to.

edit: case in point - this thread.
I completely disagree, and think this thread is full of garbage.
 

Genesius

TRIBE Member
Agent Smith said:
In a related study, people that rely on internet message boards to help make life-altering decisions are three times as likely to be retarded.
In a study related to the relativity of the previous related study (which are not really related at all), people that assume other people are entirely relying on internet message boards to help make life-altering decisions and then calling out "retard!" are in no way shown to be retarded, just ignorant.
 
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