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Only In New York

Discussion in 'TRIBE Main Forum' started by Dr Trance, Oct 7, 2005.

  1. Dr Trance

    Dr Trance TRIBE Member

    From the site www.overheardinNewYork.com:

    Flyer guy: Here.
    Chick: No thanks.
    Flyer guy: No? What the fuck you mean, "no"?

    --Union Square

    We oughta start a thread for Overheard In Toronto...
  2. deep

    deep TRIBE Member

    I love this site

    "Lady: ...and a half-pound of roasted brussels sprouts with peas.

    Counter guy: Those are actually pearl onions, ma'am.

    Lady: Well, the sign says peas.

    Counter guy: I'm terribly sorry, ma'am, but the person who made that sign is an idiot...No really, that's her over there. Complete dipshit."
  3. stir-fry

    stir-fry TRIBE Member

    That Means They're Both the Evil One

    Woman #1: Oh, look over there... that is just tragic.
    Woman #2: What?
    Woman #1: Ugly twins.

    --15th & 5th

    this reminds me of my brother last week.. my buddy was working these 2 girls at the bar and my bro says "they said they're twins.. but that one's ugly, i think only the other one is a twin"
  4. stir-fry

    stir-fry TRIBE Member


    White girl: That's terrible! The only thing I want my kids to be that I'm not is half-black.

    --Columbia University
  5. kaniz

    kaniz TRIBE Member

    Queer #1: I've been feeling so gross lately. I wonder if it's because I've been having so much ass sex.
    Queer #2: Gross like a whore?
    Queer #1: No. Like, every time you shit your poop gets rubbed into your ass wounds. Maybe it's making me sick...What? It's like rubbing your papercuts in Bombay sewer water.
  6. freshest1

    freshest1 TRIBE Member

    Guy #1: Yeah man, she's kind of a hippie. I mean, her name is Maple.
    Guy #2: Maple? You should tap that shit.
  7. stir-fry

    stir-fry TRIBE Member

    Suit: Yeah, last week I looked good, I even had my hair done...you know...all straight...the Japanese way.

    --Office, Old Slip
  8. deevah

    deevah TRIBE Member

    i give this site 4 thumbs up
  9. deep

    deep TRIBE Member

    I wish they had archives

    Dumb teen: Hey, look at this! It says "Train for jobs in beeyotch."

    Smarter teen: Fool! That word is biotech. Why you gotta be ignorant all your life?
  10. BlueEyedMonster

    BlueEyedMonster TRIBE Member


    On my vacation in August there actually is a girl named Maple who worked at the visitor center in Bon Echo
  11. veteze

    veteze TRIBE Promoter

  12. JOSHB

    JOSHB TRIBE Member

    Today on bus in Ft. Green, Brooklyn:

    11 year old black girl 1: so you like him?
    11 year-old black girl 2: yea but only for the "privlegiz"
    1: the what?
    2: you know, he a friend wit privligiz.
    1: so you like him
    2: HELL NO! jus tha privligiz
    1: oh, word
  13. deep

    deep TRIBE Member

  14. deevah

    deevah TRIBE Member

    Girl: I see someone decided to try their new onion deodorant today.

    --F train
  15. deep

    deep TRIBE Member

    Stoner #1: So this fucking idiot was like, "Communism is the way, comrade." And I was like, "Okay then, give me your shirt." And he was like, "What, man?" And I was like, "If everything's fifty-fifty, let's just switch shirts for the day."

    Stoner #2: What'd he say then?

    Stoner #1: He was like, "You got me, comrade. I need to think this one over." And I was like, "Fuck yeah, you communist fuck." Yeah, I told that guy all right.
  16. Booty Bits

    Booty Bits TRIBE Member

  17. rejenerate

    rejenerate TRIBE Member

  18. Eclectic

    Eclectic TRIBE Member

    Cashier in Jack's 99 Cent store: Here's your change, 62-cents
    Woman: But I just gave you $62, and since everything here costs $1, how come you're giving me 62 cents back?
    Cashier: Everything here is 99-cents
    Woman: Really?
    Cashier: Yeah
  19. kat

    kat TRIBE Member

    haha reminds me of the conversation i overheard at lunch today

    russian guy 1: haha my mortgage is slower than your mortgage

    russian guy 2: its like how they say in that movie, thats like star wars..but isnt. and they say schwartz.

    russian girl: what? i didnt like star wars.

    russian guy 2: this other movie is hilarious, its like they all have big helmets and combs and instead of the force they say schwartz.

    then they went on for about 20 minutes giving the most unfunny, but detailed descriptions of spaceballs.
  20. [SQUARE]

    [SQUARE] TRIBE Member

    ok this is damn funny and sounds like a deep conversation that i'd have with a friend...

    Drunk dude: I've always wanted a pet bee. You know? That would be so cool. To have a pet bee. I'd take it for a walk every day and show it to the neighbors. And they'd be so amazed that I had a pet bee!
    Guy #1: How would you take a bee for a walk?
    Drunk dude: I'd tie a little string around its neck. Like a leash, you know?
    Guy #2: I didn't know that bees had a neck.


    Overheard by: Eric Roitman
  21. Lovely N Amazin

    Lovely N Amazin TRIBE Member

    Red State Girl: Is that a hammer in your bag?
    Dealer: Yeah. It's a metaphor. 'Cause Jesus was a carpenter, see. And I walk with Jesus.
    Red State Girl: Oh.

    --29th Street & 7th Ave.


    Jewess: That's the third time you mentioned Jews. What's wrong with Jews?
    Goy: They are demanding, confrontational, and have a hard time telling the truth. What religion are you, anyway?
    Jewess: Uh...Baptist.

    --Times Square


    The subway doors open. A hobo enters, holding a bottle of windex in one hand and a tube of toothpaste in the other. He says: Which is the better time to read Dostyevsky? Winter?

    He sprays the windex.

    Hobo: Or Spring?

    He squeezes toothpaste out of the tube.

    Japanese girl: Spring!
    Hobo: You are correct.

    --F train
  22. bucky

    bucky TRIBE Member

    March 31, 2005
    The Question On Everybody's Lips

    Guy #1: Aw...
    Guy #2: What happened?
    Guy #1: That Terri Schiavo, the one with the feeding tube. She died.
    Guy #2: Yeah, that's too bad...I wonder what would happen if you were to blow air through the feeding tube. Do you think she would fart?

    --The Westminster lobby, 20th & 7th
  23. kat

    kat TRIBE Member

    Chick #1: Hoboken just sounds dirty to me.
    Chick #2: Why? Because like, "hobos"?
    Chick #1: Yeah.
    Chick #2: Well, it's uplifting. Like, "hobos can!" get their lives together. It's not called "hobo can't."

    --9th Street PATH station

  24. mondo

    mondo TRIBE Promoter

    ...Jack's has hot girls in there all the time buying food.
  25. unique2100

    unique2100 TRIBE Promoter

    lol @ White girl: That's terrible! The only thing I want my kids to be that I'm not is half-black.

    --Columbia University

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