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Nobody Cares...

One of my oldest and dearest friends passed away on Christmas eve, the police finding his body when he was reported late for a family dinner. He turned 36 less than two weeks ago - the last time I spoke to him was joking about him getting old and talking about him coming to visit.

He was one of three people outside of my family who knew me completely and with whom I trusted my life. We became a bit distant a few years ago when I realized his true feelings for me, and it caused a rift between us.

I'm alternating between denial, realization that he's really gone and seething rage and sadness that this could happen to someone as special as him. Just when I think I've come to relative terms, I remember something else that overwhelms me with grief.

My eyes are swollen nearly completely shut. If he could see me, he'd feel awful for being the cause of such great pain, yet make fun of me for looking like a bag of shit, and make me smile.

I'm having a very hard time dealing with a loss as great as this. Time heals all wounds, I suppose.
 
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erika

TRIBE Member
DIWC that must be horribly difficult for you right now
You are right about time though; it will do its work
Just not in an instant
Big hug
 
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NemIsis

TRIBE Member
Val, I'm so sorry. That's awful. My condoloences. :(
Time will heal the wounds, but you will never forget him and you will remember him with a smile. Hugs..
 

kirstenmeows

TRIBE Member
Val, so sorry to hear about your loss. Time will soften the blow, but the good memories will help you at this point. Don't hold it in, let your feelings flow.

I have had a surprisingly good holiday. X-mas eve was particularly messy (and fun!), and involved Mommy learning what a bong is. Now THAT was precious. Both yesterday and today have been rather quiet, and I am now enjoying a glass of wine and savouring the silence around these parts.
 
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OutcastTO

TRIBE Member
Diwc- sorry for your loss. I don't know you, but you seem pretty strong. However, in these times it's ok to not be so strong and depend on those close to you for support.

Addy plays tech-house.
 

kaniz

TRIBE Member
Splurged today and bought a Native Instruments Maschine - can't pick it up until Weds though. For some reason I was expecting it to cost $749+tax, but Moog had it for 719 and no tax, pushed me over the edge to finally buy it - here's hoping I can get some use out of it to make it worth the money
 
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Dirty Girl

TRIBE Member
umm it is tuesday right?
why the fuck did i come to work on time. the shit I need isnt here and noone i work with is here?
i feel like in the twilight zone.
 

Beer babe

TRIBE Member
EEeeek, my back and neck...everything is jammed up and it even hurts to breathe or swallow. Owwwies.

And i'm here at work too, DG...i'm here to chat if you're bored...it's absolutely DEAD here at the office. Sigh. At least i'm working from home for the rest of the week.
 

Dirty Girl

TRIBE Member
yeh, unfortunately i have to do like 3 days work in like 1 day in order to make sure people get paid. unfortunately noone is at the other fucking companies to send me the shit i need in order to pay the fucking people and everyone i call or email is out of the office. mildly freaking out right now. :mad:
 
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