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Nobody Cares...

Dirty Girl

TRIBE Member
my new love is yahoo questions and answers
there is some really funny shit on there:
should i have sex with my boyfriend,
i didnt get my period am i pregnant,
does this boy love me?
 
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kaniz

TRIBE Member
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]From: Jeff Peters
Date: Wednesday 8 April 2009 10.22am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Membership Renewal

Dear David

This is a friendly reminder to let you know your gym membership expired last week. Your membership is important to us and we would like to take this opportunity to show our appreciation by offering you a 20% discount on your membership renewal. We look forward to seeing you again soon.

All the best, Jeff Peters


From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 8 April 2009 1.37pm
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Membership Renewal

Dear Jeff,

Thankyou for your friendly reminder and the kind offer to reduce my membership by twenty percent. I own a calculator but I could not work out how to do percentages on it so have estimated that I save around $372.10 off the normal price of $420.00 - Please confirm that this is correct and I will renew my membership immediately. Also, do I get a Fitness First sports bag with towel and drinking bottle included in the price? I own my own legwarmers and headband.

Regards, David.



From: Jeff Peters
Date: Thursday 9 April 2009 10.01am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

Hello David

How did you come to that amount? Our half year membership fees are actually $460 but with the 20% discount as an existing member your renewing membership fee would be only $368 for the six months saving you almost $100 off the normal price. We are not Fitness First so do not have those bags.

Cheers, Jeff


From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 April 2009 10.18am
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

Dear Jeff

Do I get free shipping with that?

Regards, David.



From: Jeff Peters
Date: Thursday 9 April 2009 12.48pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

Free shipping with what? The $368 covers your membership fees for six months.


From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 April 2009 2.26pm
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

Dear Jeff

By the power of Greyskull that is a lot of money but I admit to being in desperate need of increasing my body strength. My ten year old child often turns the taps off in the bathroom very tightly and I have to go several days without washing. I feel bad constantly having to ask the lady from next door to come over and loosen them for me, what with her arthritis and limited wheelchair access to my apartment. To be honest, I originally joined your gym with full intentions of attending every few days but after waiting in vain for someone to offer me steroids, I began to suspect this was not going to happen and the realisation that I may have to exercise instead was, quite frankly, horrifying. My aversion to work, along with the fact one of your employees, Justin, was rather rude, telling me to 'lift this', ''push that' dulled my initial enthusiasm of becoming muscular and I stopped attending.

Regards, David.



From: Jeff Peters
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 9.17am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

Hello David

Not sure how to take your email, nobody here would offer you steroids, it is illegal and none of our staff would do this. Justin is one of our most experienced trainers and if you found him rude while he was trying to be helpful and just doing his job then there are plenty of other gyms you could look at joining instead.

Cheers, Jeff


From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 10.02am
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

Dear Jeff

Yes, I have noticed that there are many gyms in my area. I assume the low qualification requirements of fitness trainers means that there is an over supply of these buffed but essentially otherwise purposeless professionals. I knew a guy in high school who couldn't talk very well and collected sticks, he used to call the teacher 'mum' and during recess we would give him money to dance. Then sell him sticks to get our money back. He went on to become a fitness instructor so I view gyms as kind of like those factories that provide a community service by employing people with down syndrome to lick stamps and pack boxes. Except with more Spandex obviously.

Regards, David.



From: Jeff Peters
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 10.32am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

Go fuck yourself.



From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 11.38am
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

Dear Jeff

I was, at first, quite surprised at your response; one minute you are inviting me to renew my membership and asking me for money, the next insulting me. After doing a little research however, I have learnt that mood swings are an expected side effect of steroid abuse. As another side effect is a reduction in the size of your penis, this gives you understandable cause to be an angry person. I have also learnt that Spandex contains carcinogenic properties so this does not bode well for yourself and your shiny friends. If I woke up one morning and my penis was a quarter of the size AND I had testicular cancer, I would probably take my anger out on those around me as well. There are probably support groups or websites that could help you manage your problem more effectively and picture based books available on the subject for people with limited reading skills. When I am angry I like to Listen to music by Linkin Park. The added angst and desire to cut myself works similarly to the way firefighters fight forest fires by burning off sections, effectively canceling each other out and I find myself at peace. I understand that you guys usually listen to Pet Shop Boys or Frankie Goes to Hollywood so this may be worth a try.

Regards, David.



From: Jeff Peters
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.04pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

DO NOT EMAIL ME AGAIN



From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.15pm
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

Ok.



From: Jeff Peters
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.25pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

Is that you being a smartarse or agreeing not to email me again?



From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.32pm
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

The middle one.
[/FONT]
 

BigBadBaldy

TRIBE Member
OMG this is the best Winamp skin ever!

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<3
 
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kaniz

TRIBE Member
Ahh the Gym, I'm debating if I should get a few sessions with a Trainer. They did their Consultation / Sales Pitch to me the other day - I refused to sign anything that day.

Gotta say though, their whole consultation / sales pitch is one of the better ones I've sat through - and having taken a few courses in Sales at Ryerson, some of their tactics were text-book 101. Once or twice I had to stop myself from laughing out loud.

Then, at the end he sits you down with their Finance guy, the whole interplay between the two you can tell has been scripted/practiced soooo many times. Very slick - knowing what they were doing sort of made me appreciate it on some level :p

I think I frustrated them at the very end, as I simply refused to agree to / sign anything that day. They were even all "Well, why not just sign up for one session - if you dont like it, you can cancel the agreement within 10 days" -- "Well, can I just pay for 1 lesson first and then an agreement?" ... then pussyfooting around that answer (in short: no)

Dunno, once I seperate the sales pitch from the reality - and I did talk them down to about 60% less than their initial cash-grab (and my first 3 months are free right now), it may be a good idea. Two of my co-workers have trainers through them also and generally say very positive things about them / recommend them.

I just really dislike entering into contracts in general, let alone ones that can end up costing allot per month - and I've heard quite a few shady things about Extreme in how they handle their contracts / being able to get out of them / auto-renewing / etc.
 

acheron

TRIBE Member
is this some sort of epidemic in the gym industry? Do all gyms have sales teams and pressure tactics? This has been going on for years - my brother had to resort to lawyer's letters to get a vacation suspension put on his account years ago.

One never seems to hear this sort of thing about places like Curves or Goodlife, is it just the juicer gyms that do this?
 

kaniz

TRIBE Member
Every gym I've been to with the exception of the YMCA has very high-pressure sales tactics. I remember doing a similar consultation at Baileys a few years ago - and their "lets see how fit you are?" routine made me throw up - of which said trainer used that as proof 'your in awful shape, you need me!' --- but, that routine is designed to push even very fit people to their breaking point.

Like really, when I went to the washroom and saw myself in the mirror - my skin was pale pale pale and my lips were blue. Jeeze trainer guy - maybe you shouldn't be forcing me onto a swiss ball doing a chest press while you put your full weights on top of me after doing a super-intense cardio run with no breaks when my lips have turned blue.

Didn't leave me with a good impression of the gym - and since i joined their student thing I only had a 4 month contract and left it as soon as I could (Mind you, Extreme now owns Baileys no?)

I can see the benefits of a trainer no doubt, especially when I get lost in the "I dunno what to do", wander around and do 3 or 4 random things and call it a day. Just rather come to that conclusion on yes/no on my own time w/o having a tag-team trying to force me into something.
 
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Subsonic Chronic

TRIBE Member
Ahh the Gym, I'm debating if I should get a few sessions with a Trainer. They did their Consultation / Sales Pitch to me the other day - I refused to sign anything that day.

Sounds pretty shady if you ask me. There's definitely a benefit to spending a few weeks with a personal trainer to hash out some goals and setup an exercise program that will help you meet them, but you have to be careful.

One thing I'd really be sure of if I were you is to ask what kind of personal training certification they have. Ideally they should be certified by either the NSCA (National Strength & Conditioning Association), the ACSM (American College of Sports Medicine) or CanFitPro (regarded by many as the top Canadian certification group).

If they don't have certs with either of these, chances are they don't know more than the average person at the gym and have only been trained in taking your money. Even your story about the initial fitness assessment that they put you through sounds shady, no one should be pushing you that hard on your first day.
 

kaniz

TRIBE Member
Oh, that "Shady" one was a few years ago at a different gym - and I figured it was shady, it's why i didn't buy into it.

The one I did yesterday, was actually pretty useful - didn't push me too hard, and was largely focused on showing proper form, but all with a tie-back to the benifits of having a trainer.

ie: Do this exercise on your own. Ok, now - do it with me helping you - and he'd adjust my position/etc to how it should be, and it does make a huge difference.

There were a few things that I'd try to do - and I'd only ever feel the strain in my joints/etc (ie: bad form), then with a fairly subtle nudge when he was hands on - it felt much better, and could actually feel the workouts hitting my muscles / etc.

Good call on asking them about their certifications - they are going to do a follow up call later this week to see if I want to start something, I'll need to be sure to ask them then.

Its like, on one hand - especially not having a 'workout buddy' to help me out - I can see the benfiits of a few sessions with a trainer to get me rolling. On the other hand, the high pressure sales tactics and some of the sketchy things I've heard about gym trainers in the past - makes me a bit leery about joining up and signing any sort of agreement.
 

Dirty Girl

TRIBE Member
Not sure if i should get to know her?
i'm talking with this girl who i meet at the end of the 2nd semester of college. She said that she likes me but she is blonde and i'm dark brown not blonde. I'm not sure if i should take it further after all blonde girls like blonde guys



Im fucking dying over here.!!!! why didnt I discover this sooner!
 

Subsonic Chronic

TRIBE Member
On the other hand, the high pressure sales tactics and some of the sketchy things I've heard about gym trainers in the past - makes me a bit leery about joining up and signing any sort of agreement.

Your new trainer sounds a lot better than the one you were describing before, but I totally understand what you mean. It's like you can't get *just* a good personal trainer, it has to be attached to some lame sales pitch to try and extract as much money from you as possible from whatever gym they work at.

If you have any questions about anything personal-training related, don't be afraid to shoot me a PM. I've been studying this stuff for the past year and have a pretty good handle on most of it (big exam is barely a month away!).

For that matter, I could probably use the practice so if there are any particular goals you're trying to achieve, let me know and I could try to put together a little program for you.
 
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Lysistrata

Well-Known TRIBEr
it would probably be very destructive for me to rtry a personal trainer as i could but loathe that poor hapless soul. it's safer for all to let that potential hatred lie untapped.

(i bet you're awesome at it though, Pete!)
 

kuba

TRIBE Member
kaniz

I have never met you but:
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]I was, at first, quite surprised at your response; one minute you are inviting me to renew my membership and asking me for money, the next insulting me. After doing a little research however, I have learnt that mood swings are an expected side effect of steroid abuse. As another side effect is a reduction in the size of your penis, this gives you understandable cause to be an angry person. I have also learnt that Spandex contains carcinogenic properties so this does not bode well for yourself and your shiny friends. If I woke up one morning and my penis was a quarter of the size AND I had testicular cancer, I would probably take my anger out on those around me as well. There are probably support groups or websites that could help you manage your problem more effectively and picture based books available on the subject for people with limited reading skills. When I am angry I like to Listen to music by Linkin Park. The added angst and desire to cut myself works similarly to the way firefighters fight forest fires by burning off sections, effectively canceling each other out and I find myself at peace. I understand that you guys usually listen to Pet Shop Boys or Frankie Goes to Hollywood so this may be worth a try.
[/FONT]

and your last answer are the funniest things I have read on tribe in about a year.


"the middle one.."

hahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
 

kaniz

TRIBE Member
heh, was going over their numbers for various financing options - when in the middle of the meeting - it seems like oh, you get things for cheaper in X or Y situation.

But, doing the numbers on my own time - no matter what, it breaks down to pretty much the same amount of money per session (with about a 0.50-1.00 dollar difference) - it's just the number of sessions that they lock you in for lowers.

Their cheapest option though works out to be an extra $75/month - seeing the trainer once a week for 1 hour - they do the workout with you, then setup a new plan for the rest of the week/etc.

That doesn't seem completely out of bounds for me, just sort of irks me that the minimum they seem to be willing to go for is 16 sessions.
 
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kaniz

TRIBE Member
Ah Kuba, that was not me writing those emails - I shoulda posted the source of it. I can only wish I was that witty.
 

kuba

TRIBE Member
as an aside, the only gym I have ever liked is Fitness Institute because it does not charge any fees for winter tennis and is always free in the summer to play. It's $100 per month and the best deal in the GTA.
 
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