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Need some information on how to deal with a special needs/mental health situation

Persephone

TRIBE Member
I don't want to go into the specifics here, but I hope someone can point me in the right direction.

I have a relatively new neighbour (maybe 4 months now) in my apartment building who has some disabilities of an unknown nature. Essentially, this person is extremely high functioning and independent, but I suspect has a mental disability.

Without discussing detailed incidents, the person has had some problems in the building, which are probably related to the mental disability (IMO), as a result of the individual being demanding and impatient with the landlord. This has lead to the individual receiving 2 violation/warnings/citations from the landlord. My problem is that the neighbour throws a tantrum on me and my roommate whenever a warning is received. We share a balcony with this neighbour and try to be friendly. I think this individual is lonely, as they talk to us quite regularly (mostly complaining, truth be told). Basically this individual has blamed us for each warning that was received - and in each case we've vehemently denied involvement (which is the truth - we haven't spoken to the landlord once).

This individual has talked about having "staff" and "boss" although they don't work - which I'm assuming is related to some type of case-worker.

I want to try to address the way we've been treated by this neighbour - enough is enough with the temper tantrums and the accusations. But I want to go about this in a way that doesn't make myself or my roommate vulnerable. We are not trying to have this disabled person removed, I simply want the individual to cut out the temper tantrums.

Any suggestions for resources or how to go about addressing this?
 
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Sal De Ban

TRIBE Member
You can't change this individual's behaviour, and you can't tell them where/how to live. All you have to control is your own, on both accounts. There really isn't any advice to give here.
 

Persephone

TRIBE Member
Anyways, if anyone can suggest resources, please feel free to PM me or leave them here. I won't go into the specifics on the message board.
 
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Persephone

TRIBE Member
You can't change this individual's behaviour, and you can't tell them where to live. All you have to control is your own, on both accounts. There really isn't any advice to give here.
Which is why my gut is telling me that we just need to avoid interaction with the individual. At most I was going to tell our neighbour that we don't want to speak to each other anymore.

But at the same time, this person keeps pointing the finger at us when a violation notice is rec'd. I don't want to be in a position where we're liable, in any way, for what may ultimately result in eviction. You know, I don't want to be vulnerable to any kind of prosecution or fine because this person is disabled.
 

Beer babe

TRIBE Member
Has the landlord told your neighbour that it isn't you and your roommate that is the cause of their doling out of warnings?

You could talk candidly (if you haven't already) to the landlord and explain what's been happening each time they give this person a warning. I hate to say but maybe even the police knowing is important. If their behaviour starts to escalate, it's best to have this all documented with them.

I know you don't want to stir the pot with the neighbour, but i'd say be more worried about your safety if anything.

Good luck, that's a tough situation to be in. :(

*sorry hungover post...bad language and grammer warning.
 
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Persephone

TRIBE Member
Has the landlord told your neighbour that it isn't you and your roommate that is the cause of their doling out of warnings?

You could talk candidly (if you haven't already) to the landlord and explain what's been happening each time they give this person a warning. I hate to say but maybe even the police knowing is important. If their behaviour starts to escalate, it's best to have this all documented with them.

I knwo you don't want to stir the pot with the neighbour, but i'd say be more worried about your safety if anything.

Good luck, that's a tough situation to be in. :(
Funny you mentioned the police. They have been to the apartment 2x since this person has moved in, and the paramedics 3x. Whenever this person gets worked up emotionally, they call an ambulance. I don't really know why, but they do. I get the sense that the individual may be manipulative. I've overheard this person having arguments with someone on the phone, and the paramedic visits usually follow those phone conversations. I've heard the neighbour yell things like "if you don't do this, then I'm going to..." to the person on the phone...and then the ambulance appears.

Yeah, I'm thinking of talking to the landlord about it. Its just that when this person isn't having a mood swing, I have no problem being their neighbour. The individual is friendly and funny at times. I have nothing against having a disabled neighbour. But yeah, maybe its time the landlord knows that we're being accused as the source of the notices.
 
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Sal De Ban

TRIBE Member
lol yes. good luck contacting ccac and getting them an in-home caregiver (unless they now provide new services, like respite relief for neighbours who are annoyed by mental illness). what a hilarious thread.
 
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the_fornicator

TRIBE Member
Maybe she's crazy like the rhubarb lady?


edit: I guess my point is that sometimes you can't reason with or fix crazy.
 
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praktik

TRIBE Member
I had one of these situations - but i was living in the TCHC at the time and there was no recourse.

A bit worse as he was far gone enough to just fall asleep with the tap running, flooding across the hallway into our apartment. About 6 or 7 times full on fire trucks come, with fucker sitting outside the front while stuff HE put on the stove just floods the whole apartment with smoke.

There were many more times burnt bacon permeated my apartment but it wasn't a big enough deal to get the firemen over.

Thats what he'd do - turn something on and go to sleep or go for walk. Once he started getting back with his old friends the regular visits by shady people and prostitutes at all hours of the night saw the police in our corridor frequently until they scared him straight.

Guy really needed to live in a more managed care facility - even TCHC wasn't the right place given his danger to the other tenants and their property.

So ya - I had no solution except moving, given that he was a subsidized tenant. I just think the state resources devoted to his apartment would have been better placed having him in a more supervised location, a place where he could actually get better or at least, not burn things...
 
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TRO

TRIBE Member
He can set you up with someone in your area who specializes in D & I.

This guy is the man when it comes to D & I issues.

Guy gives speeches throughout Canada and is a thought leader on the subject.
 

Ho||yw0oD

TRIBE Member
It is great that you are being empathetic and sensitive, but I'd say in this case you need to look out for #1 (i.e. you).

Since you have now unsuccessfully attempted to resolve this harassment issue, complain to your landlord that the tenant is harassing you. Your landlord has a legal obligation to then address the issue with the other tenant.

If the harassment continues, notify the landlord of each occurrence. If this does nothing you can notify the Landlord and Tenant Board. They could afford you the opportunity to either leave without notice and/or receive financial compensation. The landlord could also be fined for their inaction.
 

Persephone

TRIBE Member
Thank you for the constructive feedback, Ho||yw0od and TRO.

I'm definitely concerned about looking out for myself and my roommate. We've lived in this location for a few years and like it, and we also have a great relationship with the landlord. I'd rather not let go of a nice rental location, nice apartment and good landlord relationship over this.

This is a more complex situation than I understand or should communicate publicly. But I will reach out to the resources that some of you have mentioned.
 

Ho||yw0oD

TRIBE Member
...and we also have a great relationship with the landlord. I'd rather not let go of a nice rental location, nice apartment and good landlord relationship over this.
You can probably leverage the good relationship and get the tenant bounced out of there. :)
 

kyfe

TRIBE Member
I don't think you are in any position to diagnose nor do you have any ability to seek out solutions on this individuals behalf (unless you have POA, which clearly you do not). You see what you see and if it's impacting you then YES go to the landlord, maybe he can move you to another unit?

This person could simply be going through a stressful time in their life and maybe they don't have a support network, assuming it's a mental issue is not your responsibility. As others have said if you are concerned for your safety call the cops or ask the LL to deal with them or tell them you are not interested in a relationship and keep your distance.
 
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