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my second near-death thread!


TRIBE Member
after suffering through a overly long office meeting | social gathering with the board of directors at my ngo, i hopped on the vintage 650 yamaha and headed back to toronto. because it was late and someone stole that last glass of wine i had claimed to numb the boredom, i chose to blast the QEW back to town rather than putter on the lakeshore.

sure, fine.
i was crusing at 140k, and marvelling at the snotty little vintage bike growling below me when it all went to pure shit and terror. i lost power in 6 lanes of traffic, falling from 140k to not being able to do 40k, with tons of cars screaming around me, honking and swearing. i had to make my way from the fast lane to an exit, any exit. right fucking now.

so i picked my way through the traffic swerving around me, sometimes close enough to touch, trying to get my ass the fuck off the QEW. no one give a shit about a disabled motorcycle, regardless of how much the rider prefers to stay alive.

so there i was, at islington just off the QEW with a broken bike that sounds terminal. my tool-free roadside dianostic says dropped valve or broken cam-chain and prolly a scored piston and cylinder as a bonus [read: expensive]. with a broke-ass bike and a very bad attitde, i called the two people that may have been able to help with a truck. neither were around.
so i look at my options: fuck all.
so i start to push the bike.


after pushing for an hour i got past mimeco station and was down to the lakeshore, fielding comments from all the ass-hats that i passed.
no, i don't need gas, do you need a kick in the junk?
yes, it is broken, so why don't you fuck yourself?
i am nothing if not polite.

there was an obnoxious hill by a string of motels that all most killed me, my first break came at the top of it. thank god i am wearing my favourite black workshirt and saucy little square toe shoe-boots, i'd hate to not look stylish pushing a 500lb bike.

still on the lakeshore, pushing along the bike path with the rollerbladers and cyclists. some dude on a bmx rides beside me for a bit, asking all sorts of stupid questions. i consider smashing his face on the bike path and watching him spit up teeth, but i really don't have the energy anymore. i take a break at the palais royale, where a crowd of hipsters appears for some NXNW show. i thank god that i don't look like the idiot in the beige suit jacket, matching bermuda shorts and news-boy cap. small pleasures.

another hill that almost kills me, just before the jameson exit. i see stars and can hardly work the kickstand at the top of it, i think i barfed a little. i get as far as the liberty grand before i get a phone call. nope, no trucks available from the calavry, but soon there wil be juice and ice cream.

a long break at dufferin and king. the girl comes to rescue me, bringing a litre of juice and a creamy drumstick, but alas, i still have miles to go and not much steam. i get to shaw and turn north, knowing that dundas is so close.. i have to lean the bike up against things now as i can't work the kickstand anymore.

i need a break every half block or so, now - i could not make it from queen to dundas. but i am so fucking close. francis finally gets home and meets me at the corner, taking the bike from me before i die.

final tally: 13k of pushing, two barfs. one broken, battered little me.
moral: fuck you, world.
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TRIBE Member
next time call a tow truck.. or caa.. i'd rather spend 200 bucks then push a broke as bike for three hours..


TRIBE Member
call a towtruck next time. you can get CAA for a bike, you know.

wooo lucky1 beat me by one minute!


TRIBE Member
tow trucks do not work with bikes, unless they are a flatbed type.

and caa has a one week wait for their 'enhanced' service that includes bikes.
i really had few choices.


TRIBE Member
serously though.. why did you decide to push it? if you are driving a bike you appear to have a little disposable income at your well.. dipsosal.

there are many flatbed towtrucks. Last time i had CAA thats the kind they sent to me... (i had a car not a bike)


Well-Known TRIBEr
What the shit? You pushed a bike all the way from Islington to downtown?

Surely there's a better way!

edit: I guess you already answered that.
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TRIBE Member
i could have left it where it was and searched for a flat-bed tow truck today, missing a day of work.

i could have found a dude with a pick-up who wanted beer money.

i could have waited a week and got caa coverage.

that is about it.

personally, the nearly dying thing was much more noteworthy than the pushing.
but that is just my opinion.


TRIBE Member
dude I've seen too many towtrucks with bikes trussed to the liftjack to think that you have to have a flatbed to do it... I mean, call AAAAAAA towing and ask them on the phone! Seriously. But anyway, what's done is done and it wouldn't have been much of a tribe thread if you'd just had it towed.


TRIBE Member
the bikes being towed on a hook truck are bouncing around like fish and smashing everything.

no one would put their bike on a regular tow truck if given the choice..
it causes more damage than it is worth.
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Boss Hog

TRIBE Member
Maybe you should trade down for a Vespa. At least that way you have no possible way of hurting yourself, because they just don't have any speed.


TRIBE Member
just for fun I went looking for towing companies in the Toronto area.. yeah, maybe you should have just pushed it home like you did....


TRIBE Member
Flashy_McFlash said:
Couldn't you have taken the thing to a gas station and waited there for your lady/called a flatbed truck?

that would depend on how stubborn you are.

and no, at the moment disposable income is at a nasty low.
littlejon said:
after pushing for an hour i got past mimeco station and was down to the lakeshore.

Fuck, that sucks.
Is everyone of your muscles sore right now?

You pushed your bike right past my place!

Edit: next time this happens, just leave it in my parking lot and get CAA.
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TRIBE Member
a fill up is only $12 for 200k.
and i did go across evans.. i could have used a hook-up.

and yeah val..
there is not a place on me that is not broken.
thank god for percoset!


TRIBE Member
A friend of mine died last week on his motorcycle due to reckless passing, which turned into a head-on collision with a car.


TRIBE Member
that dude on the bmx nearly died, from my rage-o-hol.

leaving the QEW with no power honsetly scared the shit out of me.
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