Howdy Ho! The Virgin Mary was sleeping
When Angel Gabriel appeared..
He said, 'you are to be the virgin mother'
And Mary thought that was weird..
[But she said, 'I'm not a virgin
I sucked a guy last year']
But then Gabriel said to Mary,
'My child, have no fear'
[for you can suck all the dick you want]
And still be a Virgin, Mary..
[you can suck all the dick you want]
And still not be considered flawed..
[cos I know you'd like to play
And suck right through the day]
But you're still still a virgin
In the eyes of god!
There was no room at the Inn
When Mary and Joseph did arrive
They were so very tired, you see
[and they had to have a rest for the night]
She said she had no money
[and she had no place to sleep]
Gabriel appeared to mary
And told her not to weep
[for you can suck all the dick you want]
And still be a Virgin, Mary..
[you can suck all the dick you want]
And still be the mother of Christ..
If there's no room at the inn
then it's not considered a sin
[to suck a dick to get a place to sleep!]
That's right..
And three wisemen did appear
Bearing gifts of myrrh and such..
They said that they had followed a star
And missed a woman's touch..
[she said, this is a tragedy
I can't take them all to bed]
But again Gabriel appeared to her
And this is what he said..
[You can suck all the dick you want]
And still be a Virgin, Mary..
[You can suck all the dick you want of..]
Everyone in the nation
[Fellation aint no sin
So have a dildo three miles in]
And you'll still be a virgin
[to everyone gone down on Christmas!]
[You can suck all the dick you want]
And still be a Virgin, Mary..
[You can take if from the three wise men]
And even the little drummer boy..
Folks will remember your name quick
[for sucking the most of the dick!]
[for sucking dick..]
Brings peace, and love, and joy.
[for sucking dick..]
Brings peace, and love, and joy.
[you can suck my dick]
[laughter]
--------------------
I heard there is no Christmas,
In the silly Middle East..
No Trees, no Snow, no Santa Claus,
They have Different Religious beliefs..
They Believe in Muhammad,
And not in our Holiday..
And so every December,
I go to the Middle East and say..
Hey there Mr Muslim, Merry Fucking Christmas
Put down that book 'The Koran'
and hear some holiday wishes
Incase you haven't noticed,
it's Jesus's Birthday
So get off you heathen Muslim Ass
And fucking celebrate.
There is no holiday season in india,
i've heard..
They don't hang up their stockings,
and that is just absurd..
They've never read a Christmas Story,
They Don't know what Rudolph is about..
And that's why in December,
I'll go to india and shout..
Hey there Mr Hinduist, Merry Fucking Christmas
Dring some 'nog, and eat some Beef
and pass it to the Missus
Incase you haven't noticed,
It's Jesus's Birthday
So get off your heathen hindu ass,
And fucking celebrate.
Now I heard that in Japan,
Everyone just lives in sin..
They pray to several gods,
And put needles in their skin..
On December twenty-fifth,
all they do is eat a cake..
and that is why i'll go to Japan,
and walk around and say..
Hey there Mr Shintoist, Merry Fucking Christmas
God is gonna kick your ass You infidelic pagan scum.
Incase you haven't noticed,
There's festive things to do
So lets all rejoice for Jesus
and Merry Fucking Christmas to you.
On Christmas Day, I travel round the world and say..
Taoists, Korishnas, Buddists
and all you atheists too..
Merry Fucking Christmas to you.
Thank you, Mr Hat..
