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My bi-yearly rant about the lack of courtesy in our modern society

JEMZ

TRIBE Member
I don't think it is too much to:

- expect someone to say thankyou to me for me holding the door for them
- or for them to hold the door for me
- or to give a waive when someone lets a car turn onto the road in front of them
- or to allow a lady to go before me out of the elevator
- or to let the guy behind me in the supermarket check his 2 items out before I check my 50
- or to try to make someone who doesn't know many people at a party feel comfortable
- or to lend a buddy a few bucks at a bar if he's out and wants a drink
- or to apologize when you bump into a person at said bar/sidewalk/shopping mall
- or to help an old lady cross the street if that is what the situation calls for, no matter how corny or cliche it seems.

Jen and I are both big on common courtesy in life, and it certainly is no secret that it now is almost non-existent, which makes me sad no matter which way I look at it. I was raised to treat everyone with respect whether I know them or not and i don't think it is too much to believe that life would be a lot more enjoyable if people lived and abided by this simple courtesy.

BUT... BUT... BUT as I have actively observed this in my life over that past few years, I now fully believe that NOT our generation and NOT the generation younger than us are the most un-courteous... BUT it is the post baby-boomer generation, the teens of the 70's that I find are the most un-courteous, rude, non-chalante, me over you, get outta my way I'm gonna cut you off, rip you off, saw you off group of people in our society... not exclusively, but massively.

I have believed that manners are simply a sign of respect for others and ones self. Something to make someone else feel good, even if for a moment. Am I wrong to think this? Do you feel (as some have expressed i the past) that courtesy is phony because real life isn't that way?

Lemme know. I get all these bullshit forewards in my day from people asking me to "send this message of hope off to tell eveyone you love them" or the "allegory of the sandbox" or "Jesus' parables of respect"... well why the hell are people wasting time creating this shit and preaching this shit when they aren't even trying to live it?

Maybe I'm asking too much of the world?
 
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Poot

TRIBE Member
I completely agree with you.

Being courteous makes you feel good, but it also cycles around and makes life more pleasant for everyone.

Each of the points you listed are items that particularly irk me when they are absent.

Regardless of how much I fume when some turkey lets a door slam in my face while I'm juggling a laptop bag, shopping bags and umbrella, I will continue to show that courtesy (eg. holding open a door) time and time again to others. If even just once someone thanks me for that in a day, it makes it worth it.

(But why can't everyone just live their lives and be courteous all around? Just treat people like you want to be treated. If you don't want a door dropped in your face, if you wouldn't want to be sitting, trying to merge with traffic for 10 minutes yourself, why wouldn't you do your best to ensure that others don't have to endure that either? It's so easy. Takes next to no effort. And makes someone else's life so just that much better for that thirty seconds.)
 

deep

TRIBE Member
hear hear on people saying thank you anytime anyone does you any help.

some people's children, I swear.
 

the_fornicator

TRIBE Member
Originally posted by deep
hear hear on people saying thank you anytime anyone does you any help.

some people's children, I swear.
I seriously wish I could will anybody to die.

some people are just downright rude. rude to the point where they should die.

die I say! Die!!!

*pops prozac*
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzing.

anywho, back on topic. I agree with Jemz. I hate it when people don't wave when you let their sorry fucking ungrateful ass in a lane.
 
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[SQUARE]

TRIBE Member
Over my reading week I spent some time in Rossland which is a really small town in B.C. I also visited Kelowna for a night. I couldn't believe how nice people were to each other. RAndom people on the street will strike up a conversation with you as will cabbies and people in the grocery store. If you are hitching to the ski hill it takes no time at all to get picked up and those who do pick you up are super friendly. It was depressing to get back here cause everyone is in their own little world...especially in Toronto. Its sad actually. People should be nicer to each other!
 

swilly

TRIBE Member
i totally know

The other day, i like didint drink my flatmates beer like i usually do when he buys some and puts it in the fridge to chill.

sure enough no "thanks for not drinking my beer william"

Ya well fuck them next time i am drinking it all
swilly
 

JEMZ

TRIBE Member
Originally posted by the_fornicator
why would you only rant about courtesy once every two years?
Because I'm usually ranting about other stuff... I complain a lot, so much it needs an agenda :D
 
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Neo-Marxist

TRIBE Member
Here is an example of a total lack of courtesy: people who don't buy drinks back. I mean, you go out, buy a round for the people you're with, and there is one cheap ass who doesn't reciprocate. And then when you realize that person is never going to be courteous and you omit them from the next round, they complain about how rude you are. It is usually embodied in the question: "Where is my drink?" Fuck off. Oh yeah! And people who get angry at you for not lending them anything. It's my property, I will do with it as I please.
 

JEMZ

TRIBE Member
Originally posted by Neo-Marxist
Here is an example of a total lack of courtesy: people who don't buy drinks back. I mean, you go out, buy a round for the people you're with, and there is one cheap ass who doesn't reciprocate. And then when you realize that person is never going to be courteous and you omit them from the next round, they complain about how rude you are. It is usually embodied in the question: "Where is my drink?" Fuck off. Oh yeah! And people who get angry at you for not lending them anything. It's my property, I will do with it as I please.
Marx would share :)
 
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Photon

TRIBE Member
Originally posted by JEMZ
I don't think it is too much to:

- expect someone to say thankyou to me for me holding the door for them
- or for them to hold the door for me
- or to give a waive when someone lets a car turn onto the road in front of them
- or to allow a lady to go before me out of the elevator
- or to let the guy behind me in the supermarket check his 2 items out before I check my 50
- or to try to make someone who doesn't know many people at a party feel comfortable
- or to lend a buddy a few bucks at a bar if he's out and wants a drink
- or to apologize when you bump into a person at said bar/sidewalk/shopping mall
- or to help an old lady cross the street if that is what the situation calls for, no matter how corny or cliche it seems.

Jen and I are both big on common courtesy in life, and it certainly is no secret that it now is almost non-existent, which makes me sad no matter which way I look at it. I was raised to treat everyone with respect whether I know them or not and i don't think it is too much to believe that life would be a lot more enjoyable if people lived and abided by this simple courtesy.

BUT... BUT... BUT as I have actively observed this in my life over that past few years, I now fully believe that NOT our generation and NOT the generation younger than us are the most un-courteous... BUT it is the post baby-boomer generation, the teens of the 70's that I find are the most un-courteous, rude, non-chalante, me over you, get outta my way I'm gonna cut you off, rip you off, saw you off group of people in our society... not exclusively, but massively.

I have believed that manners are simply a sign of respect for others and ones self. Something to make someone else feel good, even if for a moment. Am I wrong to think this? Do you feel (as some have expressed i the past) that courtesy is phony because real life isn't that way?

Lemme know. I get all these bullshit forewards in my day from people asking me to "send this message of hope off to tell eveyone you love them" or the "allegory of the sandbox" or "Jesus' parables of respect"... well why the hell are people wasting time creating this shit and preaching this shit when they aren't even trying to live it?

Maybe I'm asking too much of the world?
you are awesome man

i totally appreciate all the things you listed there, even though some of them don't apply to me

its good to know that there are other people out there like me who show respect to others even if they don't know them
 

beatjunkie

TRIBE Member
I find it more so in Toronto than any of the other cities I have lived or visited.

I just yell "YOU'RE WELCOME!!" if they don't say anything and they end up turning around and saying thanks anyways feeling like idiots for not doing so in the first place.
 

PosTMOd

Well-Known TRIBEr
Humans are not meant to live in large, dense groups. We evolved as a species that lived in fairly small groups, and when the density gets past a certain level, it is difficult for many people to see their fellow apes. They feel like numbers, so they treat the other apes like numbers.

Of course this can--as any other 'instinct'--be examined, and overidden. Just realize that yeah, humans have little puny brains that can't really handle numbers over 1000, so anything over that is incompehensible. You can't actually imagine 1000 separate little entities, be they humans, or jelly beans. Yet, quite obviously, there are more than 1000's of all sorts of things.
 

JEMZ

TRIBE Member
Originally posted by PosTMOd
Humans are not meant to live in large, dense groups. We evolved as a species that lived in fairly small groups, and when the density gets past a certain level, it is difficult for many people to see their fellow apes. They feel like numbers, so they treat the other apes like numbers.

I'll pick the lice off ya Timo :p
 
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JMan

TRIBE Member
It's frustrating, but I figure if someone doesn't have that courtesy, they are self-obsorbed and have bigger issues to deal with.
 

gollum

TRIBE Member
Originally posted by JEMZ
I don't think it is too much to:

- expect someone to say thankyou to me for me holding the door for them
- or for them to hold the door for me
- or to give a waive when someone lets a car turn onto the road in front of them
- or to allow a lady to go before me out of the elevator
- or to let the guy behind me in the supermarket check his 2 items out before I check my 50
- or to try to make someone who doesn't know many people at a party feel comfortable
- or to lend a buddy a few bucks at a bar if he's out and wants a drink
- or to apologize when you bump into a person at said bar/sidewalk/shopping mall
- or to help an old lady cross the street if that is what the situation calls for, no matter how corny or cliche it seems.
I personally am very courteous in almost everything I do.

I also find that lately (say the last year), I've noticed a distinct rise in the number of people that are courteous back. I get the wave when I let people in, I get the thank you when I hold the door, I get the door held for me.

I think this has a lot to do with what you expect to see in the world. I know there are good and courteous people out there and expect to see them every day. So maybe I turn a blind eye to those who are discourteous, but I like to think they are maybe becoming fewer and furthur between.

Cheers
 

bitchass

TRIBE Member
Originally posted by Neo-Marxist
Here is an example of a total lack of courtesy: people who don't buy drinks back. I mean, you go out, buy a round for the people you're with, and there is one cheap ass who doesn't reciprocate. And then when you realize that person is never going to be courteous and you omit them from the next round, they complain about how rude you are. It is usually embodied in the question: "Where is my drink?" Fuck off. Oh yeah! And people who get angry at you for not lending them anything. It's my property, I will do with it as I please.
I enjoy buying the occassional round and really don't expect anyone to HAVE to buy me some in return but it sure is nice when it happens! I have a friend or two who have NEVER returned the favor - not even once. In fact, one in particular seems to never open her wallet during the night, if she even has one. Yet she always has a drink in her hand and is standing in the right place to get freebies all night. NO MORE FREEBIES grrr
 

bambam

TRIBE Member
i dunno, i always felt that people in toronto are generally more courteous than, say, people in london or new york or montreal.
 
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