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Movie Review: Fast and the Furious II: Tokyo Drift


TRIBE Member
**warning spoilers**

So I called every radio station in the hemisphere and was able to score tickets to The Fast and the Furious II: Tokyo Drift super-special sneak preview and boy oh boy, what an awesome ride!

So the movie starts off and BAM the title credits roll. OMG, what a rush! Peoples names I've never seen before, with what I can only guess are job titles next to them, come flying from out of nowhere and blindside you with speed, accented with vroom-vroom sound effects that started the process of seat-moistening that would continue throughout the film.
And they haven't even started drifting yet!

So this dude, who's name I forget but who appears to be a central character, gets in all sorts of trouble in the good ol' US of A, mostly due to sub-attendance at school and a poor mastery of cursive writing. His parents or the principal send him to Japan because they can write English much better over there, and so he jumps in his car and drives to Tokyo, but only in a straight line with no drifting whatsoever.

SO he gets there and he's kind of hungry so he stops in to eat some won tons or whatever they eat over there and when he leaves the counter to get some squid sauce he totally steps on this hyperbadasses foot! OMG!! The camera zooms super-tight onto the guys face and even though his eyes are japan-slantey you can tell he's totally pissed and wants to deliver a karate chop or something equally devestating to his face.
And they haven't even started drifting yet!!

So the angry guy doesn't karate chop him, which left me disappointed (which was sort of good because it let my seat dry out a bit), but instead tells the rebel American that he's got more girls and drugs and money and Hello Kitty gear than anyone ever, and that really gets the tension up. The dude drops his chicken balls and squid sauce and says no way that can't be true you're not American, and then the music starts to get really awesome because you can see one of the 14 girls with the angry Japanese guy is totally checking out the American, and while I notice this I also notice that none of the writing on the big menu board behind the register at this restaurant is in English and think that this dude is wasting his time how is he ever going to get good as cursive writing?
And they haven't even started drifting yet!

So then the evil Japanese guy goes outside and rubs a won ton that he had in his pocket all over the swank leather upholstery and suede kleenex holder in the American's car and then jumps into his car with his 14 girls and takes off (again, driving only in a straight line WTF) and the American runs after him and gets in his won ton-encrusted car and chases him. IT'S ON NOW THEY'RE TOTALLY GOING TO START DRIFTING!!

So they drive around, and both dudes are drifting and it's totally awesome and then the japanese dude drifts too much and hits a telephone pole and all the girls except one explode in shame, and the only girl left gets out of the car and tells the bloodied japanese guy that she likes pizza and chicken fried steak and OMG you realize that it's the girl who was checking our hero out at WonTon Hut and they get busy in the backseat of the un-exploded car while the American's car automatically drives away and drifts into the sunset.

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The Watcher

TRIBE Member


TRIBE Member
Boss Hog said:
this seriously looks like the dumbest thing put onto film.

I dunno...it would have to be pretty bad to out-dumb Fast & Furious II : Faster & Furiouser

But hey, if you work hard enough, you can achieve anything, right?

Which movie will get robbed at the Oscars: This piece of shit or the awesomeness of Snakes on a Plane?
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TRIBE Member
Galactic Phantom said:
Lucas Black the main guy was in the cult tv series American Gothic & played the kid that fell into the hole in X-Files the movie

and he's the kid from Slingblade too.
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Ditto Much

TRIBE Member
The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift

From the producer of the worldwide blockbuster hits The Fast and the Furious and its sequel, 2 Fast 2 Furious, comes the latest instalment of the adrenaline-inducing series built on speed-The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift.

Set in the sexy and colourful underground world of Japanese drift racing, the newest and fastest customized rides go head-to-head on some of the most perilous courses in the world.

Sean Boswell (Black) is an outsider who attempts to define himself as a hot-headed, underdog street racer. Although racing provides a temporary escape from an unhappy home and the superficial world around him, it has also made Sean unpopular with the local authorities.

To avoid jail time, Sean is sent to live with his gruff, estranged father, a career military-man stationed in Tokyo. Now officially a gaijin (outsider), Sean feels even more shut out in a land of foreign customs and codes of honour.

But it doesn’t take long for him to find some action when a fellow American buddy, Twinkie (Bow Wow), introduces him to the underground world of drift racing.

Sean’s simple drag racing gets replaced by a rubber-burning, automotive art form-with an exhilarating balance of speeding and gliding through a heart-stopping course of hairpin turns and switchbacks. On his first time out drifting, Sean unknowingly takes on D.K., the "Drift King," a local champ with ties to the Japanese crime machine Yakuza.

Sean’s loss comes at a high price tag when he’s forced to work off the debt under the thumb of ex-pat, Han (Kang). Han soon welcomes Sean into this family of misfits and introduces him to the real principles of drifting. But when Sean falls for D.K.’s girlfriend, Neela (newcomer Kelley), an explosive series of events is set into motion, climaxing with an ultimate high stakes face off.

So how much does a studio pay for a fake review like this?
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