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More Craigslist Hilarity

Discussion in 'TRIBE Main Forum' started by SolChild, Feb 2, 2006.

  1. the_fornicator

    the_fornicator TRIBE Member

    Ah, boo.

    Guy took the ad down lol
     
  2. LeoGirl

    LeoGirl TRIBE Member

    ^the video is up. Ewe, is what I got to say.
     
  3. Wiseman

    Wiseman TRIBE Member


    Damn. That was going to be my next hairstyle.
     
  4. Deus

    Deus TRIBE Member

  5. WestsideWax

    WestsideWax TRIBE Promoter

  6. ndrwrld

    ndrwrld TRIBE Member

    looks like Diplo and the girl from Major Lazer.
     
  7. basilisk

    basilisk TRIBE Member

    Some jokes cut too close to the truth to be funny but we laugh anyway just to cover up our discomfort.
     
  8. glych t.anomaly

    glych t.anomaly TRIBE Member

  9. NemIsis

    NemIsis TRIBE Member

    Jarvis bike lanes offered for free on Craigslist

    [​IMG]
     
  10. veteze

    veteze TRIBE Promoter

    Dance Cages. They're wicked.

    Note: You must be cool, and you must promise to use the dance cages for their intended purpose. That purpose is partying your ass off. These pleasure party platforms have been the property of The Good Times Gang for two years now. Attached are a couple pictures from their most recent weekend. You may notice that these dance cages glow in the freaking dark. You may also notice a giant chicken, an Amish man and a bearded egg have partying on the dance cages... We already told you that these things are not for rookies. Please understand that flagrantly disrespecting the boundaries of normalcy is mandatory if you wish to inherit the dance cages. Photographic proof of your exploits would be a nice courtesy. When assembled, the cages are 4'x4' and ten feet tall. Even when flat-packed they do take up space, because they are solid and built to absorb total dance mayhem. You need a truck & a cordless impact driver to properly transport and assemble/disassemble them. NOTE: You like to build stuff that shocks and amazes your friends (without actually maiming them). If this post has you fist-pumping the air and feverishly dreaming up some crazy shit, maybe you are ready to grab these two colossal party batons and run with them.

    * Location: Parkdale
    * it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
     
  11. slice

    slice TRIBE Member

    Financial Support for a Girl Around My Age (Toronto)

    I'm young (in my mid 20's), tall, good looking, and successful... but I find myself in a sad predicament when it comes to my love life. I have absolutely NO TIME and can't find a girl in my busy schedule and in my line of work!

    What makes it even more challenging meeting girls for me is that I'm not a fan of clubbing/bars...

    I take good care of myself and my health, and don't ever touch drugs... and I expect you to be the same.

    I'm looking for an attractive and understanding girl around my age or younger that I could cuddle with, talk to, hang out with, and spend deeper moments with. In return, I would financially support you with respect, and dignity... so long as your needs are genuine.

    If you are this girl, and you would like to join me in this mutual understanding, please send me a message.

    Thanks for your time in reading this

    Financial Support for a Girl Around My Age
     
  12. WestsideWax

    WestsideWax TRIBE Promoter

    Posted by someone who thought "Pretty Woman" was a documentary. :p

    This bloke on Kijiji is cracking me up...

    GENERAL PUBLIC "TENDERNESS" - Oshawa / Durham Region Collectibles For Sale - Kijiji Oshawa / Durham Region Canada.

    (worth about $5)


    RUN DMC 12" RECORD ORIGINAL - Oshawa / Durham Region Collectibles For Sale - Kijiji Oshawa / Durham Region Canada.

    (worth about $3)


    DJ RECORDS OLD SCHOOL AL-NAAFIYSH BY HASHIM 2 COPIES "RARE" - Oshawa / Durham Region Collectibles For Sale - Kijiji Oshawa / Durham Region Canada.

    So rare there's 180+ copies (incl. various represses) available on Discogs, with a near mint original going for about $10.


    As an aside, if anyone's interested, I have a rare piece of fluff that came off of one of my needles - only $5! Only for TRUE DJs!!!
     
  13. slice

    slice TRIBE Member

    Best. Roommate. Ever.

    $1000 Best. Roommate. Ever.

    Konichiwa bitches. Are you looking for the most kick-ass fucking roommate that ever lived? If so, look no further. You fucking found him. I'm a 25-year-old professional marketing agent with experience at bad-ass companies in New York Fucking City. That's right! What you know about experience? I graduated from Auburn University in Alabama, and moved to NYC at the ripe, tender age of 22. After deciding that New York was a stinky shit-hole, I moved back to Alabama to cultivate more professional experience. Why? So I can make millions of dollars and not have to post shit like this on Craigslist.

    Anyway, so I landed this job with a marketing firm in San Francisco, and I have no fucking clue where to live. Honestly, I'm moving there in 3 weeks, so I don't give a shit if I have to sleep in your bathtub.

    A bit about me: I'm respectful, quiet, clean and I won't bother any of your shit. If you leave shit out, I'm just like, "Oh fuck I better not mess with this shit, because it's not mine." I turn off lights. I clean toilets. Fuck it. I'll even cook for you. That's right! My dad is a chef and taught me everything there is to know about cooking southern cajun cuisine. I'll fry green tomatoes, cover them with marinated crab meat and smother that shit in bearnaise. EVERY. GODDAMN. NIGHT. Don't eat meat? That's fucking FANTASTIC! I'll make a zucchini and yellow squash carpaccio that will knock your fucking socks off.

    I also read a lot. I fucking LOVE books. Vonnegut, Palahniuk, Hawthorne. All that shit. I read Tuesday's with Morrie the other day. It's a sad story, but I learned something about life, love, knowledge and the pursuit of something greater than myself. Fucking smart. Do you like movies? I fucking love them. We can watch the shit out of some movies together if you like, or go get drinks, or work out, hike, play video games or play a game of one-on-one basketball, or I don't have to talk to you at all. It's completely UP TO YOU!

    Sometimes I play guitar. Are you going to love getting baked and listening to Bob Dylan and Pink Floyd? LIVE? WHENEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT? Of course you are! I'll take requests and learn any song you like, because I have the voice of an angel and the acoustical stylings of James Fucking Taylor. AWWWWWW SHIT YEA!

    A lot of people ask me, "Hey, you're from Alabama. Are you racist?" And, the answer to that question is, no. I'm not racist or judgmental at all. I love everyone. I'm a secular humanist. I FUCKING LOVE PEOPLE. That's the only requirement to being a secular humanist actually. You have to like other human beings and want to help them for no other reason than they are human regardless of race, religion or sexual preference. WTF?!!!? Pretty fucking cool right?

    I own almost nothing! I'm driving my car from Alabama to California in which I'll be transporting two duffelbags of clothes, one laptop computer, one guitar, one cell-phone with charger, 8 pairs of shoes, one picture frame, probably some condoms and a shitload of beef jerky and Pringles for the trip. Though, you can expect the jerky to be gone upon my arrival. Unless you'd like me to pick up some on my way into the city. See?! I'm the most considerate person you've ever met. I'm offering to buy you shit already!

    Am I interested in your pad? You can bet my nomadic ass I am! I only require 4 walls, a ceiling and a floor to shelter me from the elements. Other than that, anything else will be considered a convenient plus. I'm taking being a roommate to the next level. Email me! I'll hook yo ass up with Facebook links, background checks, credit reports, phone numbers, resumes, references, awards, sexual history, pictures of karate trophies and a list of the top 10 women I'd like to bang before I die. If you want a next-generation roommate who consistently blows your fucking mind with awesomeness, then hit me up. I'm ready to give you money.
     
  14. glych t.anomaly

    glych t.anomaly TRIBE Member

    ^^^^^ amazing. I would let that guy live in my basement !

    It also reads like the kid is Kenny Powers.

    +1
     
  15. Dirty Girl

    Dirty Girl TRIBE Member

    bahahahahahahahahahhahaha
     
  16. slice

    slice TRIBE Member

    Holy shit dude has a twitter account. LOL.

    Best.Roommate.Ever (@BestRoomyEver) sur Twitter

    Some of my favs:

    "Your Girlfriend just dropped by to use your laptop for her term paper. It's cool man. I already deleted your browser history. #bestroomyever"

    "I'll pick up your date. Take her out. Talk about you all night. And then let you bang her. #Igotyourbackbro"

    "Out of tampons? No need to fret. Guess who's already at the store. #bestroomyever"

    "It's 3 am, you're shit-faced and locked out of the apt? Guess who's still up making nachos. Yup. #bestroomyever"
     
  17. Bacchus

    Bacchus TRIBE Promoter

    To the Slut from Dakota Tavern who slept with my boyfriend (in my bed) - m4w

     
  18. Bacchus

    Bacchus TRIBE Promoter

    need to move a coffin
     
  19. WestsideWax

    WestsideWax TRIBE Promoter

    awesome...

    Japanese Fetish DVDs

    Japanese Fetish DVDs - $5 (Parkdale)

    Are fatties and food mashers your kink? Are you a DJ that wants something really novel to project? Are you just morbidly curious?

    I have two rare, once viewed imported fetish DVDs from Japan compatible on North American systems for the discerning consumer. One is a compilation of very large women with small men and the other involves cute girls mashing food. Go on, you know you want to...

    [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
  20. jocelyn dee

    jocelyn dee TRIBE Promoter

    Free oil paintings by me!

    I wish there were photos with this one

    Free oil paintings by me! (Davisville)

    I have been unable to sell most of my paintings and I am now running out of room to store all of my canvas's. The paintings I have to offer are on 24x36 canvas's and are all very unique and provocative, pushing the limits of what is accepted in society. I am giving away 6 very different and unique works in hopes that others will see my work outside of my apartment. The works I have to offer are as follows:

    Oil Painting of a nude retarded child being pecked in the head by an ostrich

    Oil Painting of a nun with a strap-on, skull fucking a jack-o-lantern

    Oil Painting of President Bush getting ass fucked by a Donkey

    Oil Painting of a Taco with human features with a huge erection, getting a blow job from a group of illegal immigrants

    Oil painting of a midget getting hit in the face with a pie, standing in a sewer.

    Oil Painting of a Chinese man with a duck in his ass, smoking an opium pipe.

    All of my paintings have very deep meanings to me and are all special. If you are interested please email and let me know specifically which painting you are interested in. I will only email back if I still have the one you want. This is of course, first come first serve.


    Location: Davisville
    it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests



    PostingID: 2647444455
     
  21. tripleup

    tripleup TRIBE Member

  22. SolChild

    SolChild TRIBE Promoter

    Vintage BiWay plastic shopping bag
    Date: 2009-07-01, 10:18AM EDT

    I have a vintage BiWay shopping bag that is perfect for anyone who hangs out on Ossington. It's the same bag that you wouldn't have been caught dead using when you were 10, but now that those shoes with the "Nike swoosh that has a split it" in are cool again, what better way to carry them than a BiWay bag? Well, a Bargain Harold's bag would be a close second, but I can't help you there. I CAN help you with a genuine BiWay bag, and said bag can help you carry your 6-pack of PBR home in style. Why pay $0.05 for a shopping bag when you can whip out the genuine BiWay bag? Carrying things in this bag when I was a kid led to social ostracism, but in these troubled economic times, you can be a God amongst men with it.

    Possible uses of the genuine BiWay bag:

    - Holds a 6-pack of PBR.
    - Holds a few pairs of your grandmother's glasses that have no lenses in them.
    - Holds up to three pairs of skinny jeans (folded).
    - The first 2 seasons of Flight of the Conchords can fit comfortably, with room to spare for one of Bret's snarling animal sweatshirts.
    - It looks dashing covering the seat of your fixie during a downpour. Its advanced impermeable construction protects your Brooks saddle from being soaked from the water streaming off your mustache.

    Don't delay, get your genuine BiWay bag today!

    Location: Keele/St Clair
    it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
     
  23. KillaLadY

    KillaLadY TRIBE Member

    hahah
     
  24. stryker

    stryker TRIBE Member



    omfg..dying over here!
     
  25. JamesM

    JamesM TRIBE Member

    Sucker Wanted for Non-Paying Client (Toronto)

    lulz!

    Sucker Wanted for Non-Paying Client
     

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